Today is my husband's birthday, and I have the next two days off. I got him a pair of black diamond stud earrings. He loved them. (whew!) He's hard to shop for. He's someone who has everything. I took a chance and it paid off. I love when that happens. I'm in a good place right now mentally. We are on an up-swing I'd say. The next year will be very difficult,....and exciting,....and scary,.....and everything rolled into one, but something to definitely look forward to, and strive towards. (At least that's how I'M going to look at it.) I can't wait to be up in Canada already and looking at homes. Every day we watch House Hunters on HGTV, and we look at each other and say, 'that will be us soon.' I love the whole process of looking at homes, and properties. I never get sick of it. My hubby keeps saying I should've been a real estate agent, but that's not that interesting to me to be honest,...and right now, EVERYONE seems to be a real estate agent. No thanks.So~ my mom came back from GA. yesterday after spending a week up there with my oldest brother and his wife and family. I think it would've been great except the weather was in the 30's and 40's which I think is unusually cold for GA. My mom HATES the cold. (How I am her daughter is yet to be known,...she hates cold weather, doesn't like to shop, and is not an animal person.) Talk about opposites. I'll never understand it, but I love her to death. (She was my Matron of Honor when I got married. So LOVED.) Anyways~so going to get back on Etsy and Pinterest,...can't keep away from them. So many awesome deals to look for on there,(Etsy.) I'll be shopping,.....
I'm off for two days, and it's been sooo nice,(especially this time of year.) I'm putting up our Christmas tree today. It's a little fake one, cuz I was told that cats can get sick if they eat real pine, and my kitteh eats anything that's green. So NO to a real one as much as I would love it. (I have pine scented candles to help with this.) I'm really not into all this Christmas/Santa stuff, but this year I think I'm coming out of my five-year depression, and feeling a little jolly. I actually want to put Christmas stuff up, so why not. Anyways~ I'm still obsessing over Pinterest, and everything on there. So many great ideas and recipes, I love it. I still do get on Facebook every now and then, and yesterday one of my friends from the bar where I worked, got in touch with me. So cool to hear from people on there. Easy way to find someone and stay in touch without really having to do anything. Other than this, nothing new really with me. Going to get thru the holidays, try to have some fun, and get the house ready for sale. I can't wait. The day we move, and actually drive away from this house, and area, I will be sooooo happy, and relieved. I've made some great friends here, but I'm ready to move on. FOR SURE. The only thing that worries me with moving is Munky. I'm afraid for her, and how she will handle it. I don't want to traumatize her, but I think it can't be helped really. I don't know. I'll figure something out for her. I have to, for my baby. And on that note I will going and getting ready to workout,...so I'll write more when I'm interesting,.....or something interesting happens! You know what I mean!!! (oh, and still obsessed with finding Vintage Bloom perfume. I'm going to find the most inexpensive price for it eventually!!!)
Been working like crazy, (tis the season and all,) and I don't know if it's me or the holidays, but do people get more and more ridiculous and stupid about now? or what? The things I see people do, say, and try to do just makes my head want to explode. And this whole thing happening in Newtown, Connecticut just makes me ill. I was at the gym when I first saw it on CNN, and it just got worse and worse from there. Why am I so shocked and surprised? Why? It's awful,...horrible, heinous, and sickening. I'm trying so hard to work on myself with not hating PEOPLE so much,...but things like this just seem to make it impossible. IMPOSSIBLE. I keep trying to focus on other things. Like I'm going to now,......anyways~ my mom is doing good,....I'm back at work,.....we finally sold our condo on the beach,.....got a new clothes dryer,.....still haven't started on our bathrooms here,....and that's my story. All of it,....how boring am I??? GAWD!!! I have to just stop. I can't do this. I think I'm going to get on Pinterest or Etsy, and go hawk some stuff.
Still here in Fort Pierce taking care of my mom and staying at my sister's house,- beautiful home. It's SSOOOO PEACEFUL here. I love it. Away from everything and everyone. Can't get enough of that. I hope we find something like this in Canada when we move. Maybe not so grand but something serene and quiet. Boy I can tell I'm getting older,-that's for sure. My mom is doing better every day, but still has a way to go to get back to where she was. It's just hard to see someone who was so active and personable, and fun, NOT BEING THAT WAY. Breaks my heart. I leave on Friday, and my sister will take over for the weekend, and than my brother and his wife are driving back down here from Georgia to stay indefinitely with her til she gets well enough to be on her own. (They are retired, so they can do that.) Ummm,...in the midst of all this stuff,...I've been running around doing some shopping for things for my mom to make her life a little easier when she gets home. Organizational stuff. Looking thru magazines at the book store to get ideas,...and somehow I came across some fashion magazines that I looked thru, and found this perfume by Jessica Simpson called Vintage Bloom that I am just totally OBSESSED WITH NOW. I MUST have it, get it, wear it, hoard it. I cannot get it outta my head. I get like this about things I see and want from time to time.(As you have read on here.) I don't know why I get so obsessive about things that I must have. Then I get it and it's on to the next thing I want. It's a scary vicious circle, isn't it? I know, I know. I'm lucky I can even do it to be honest. Sooo,...today in the midst of going back to Staples and other various places, I will be hunting down the best price for my perfume and trying to get it. We'll see. So I'm putting in some pictures of various views from my sister's home in Fort Pierce. It's right across from Hutchinson Island and it's absolutely gorgeous here. The last picture are two of their three dogs that I'm in love with. Aren't they the sweetest faces? Animals, quiet, water, nature, big beautiful home,-perfect for being here right now. In some ways I'm very lucky right now,...and don't think I don't know it.
I am at my sister's house again this week. I'm staying with my mom at the hospital rehab facility during most of the day, and staying at my sister's house at night basically. I got here Monday with a lot of drama. I attempted to drive to Fort Pierce alone,...and got on the Sawgrass Expressway, and had a major panic attack.MAJOR. I had to turn around and have my husband drive me here and drop me off. Luckily for me,...my mom's car has been at my sister's house,....so I'm using that to go back and forth to the hospital which is barely 10 mins. away. It's going okay, but I'm still not over that panic attack. And my husband,...well let's just say we got into a big arguement before we left. We never really did that before,....and he basically dropped me off and he was out the door, and on his way back home before I even put my stuff down to say hello to my sister. He thinks I'm not doing enough around the house, (cooking, cleaning, etc.) I'm just tired when I come home from work. I'm still mentally not together,....I'm still going to the psychiatrist,....and working out, altho since this has happened with my mom the day after Thanksgiving, I haven't been able to go. Soooo~ here I am,...and my hubby will be picking me up on Friday, I have to go back to work on Sat. and we will start all this all over again. The next two weeks at work will be unbelievably busy. I DESPISE Christmas. I've said it time and time again,....I hate what it's turned into. Too much pressure for me to enjoy it. Don't get me wrong,...I love presents as much as the next person, but it's too stressful for me to deal with the last 5 years. Good thing tho is my mom is getting a little better every day that goes by,...and for that I'm beyond thankful. Beyond thankful. So this is my life right now. Fun,-ain't it?
I'm at my sister's house in Fort Pierce, and right now I can't sleep. We have a houseful here, and I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch with their little dog Sassy that I'm in love with. Thanksgiving here was wonderful. Family, friends, good food, lotsa fun, and laughing. My mom went home with a big plate of food happy as a clam. My hubby, SIL, and I got home about 3am on Thursday night. I got up about noon,(I was off from work,) and had 2 messages on my cell from my sister. I didn't listen to them because I was getting ready to call her, when my cousin texted me to call my sister and that it was an emergency. I did, and my mom had a stroke Friday morning. As quick as I could, I called work, packed a bag, and got in the car, and drove the almost hour and a half drive back up here to Fort Pierce, and to the hospital. It's not so good. How can things be so fun and great one day and the next so horribly wrong? My hubby stayed home to take care of the kittehs, and hopefully for our condo closing on Monday.(I don't know when I'll be coming home.) I'm staying here as long as I have to, to help my sister, and spend time with my mom at the hospital. She recognizes us, but doesn't know where, or why she is at the hospital. It's so hard to see her like this. She's always been a very busy woman. Even in her 70's, she's planning trips, going to the movies, out to lunch with her friends, playing bingo,...getting manis and pedis,....she does it all, and has fun, and I always loved that about her, and now to see her like this, so incapacitated just kills me to no end. It's so damn heartbreaking. I don't know how my brothers will take it. Since my dad's been gone, my brothers are especially close to my mom even living far away. My one brother will be coming tomorrow morning, and we will see tomorrow how her tests came out. What the prognosis is. OMG,...live now,...because you just don't know. You really don't. I am so thankful we all had a great day on Thanksgiving. I just hope it all ends up good somehow.
My computer right now is on the edge of crashing. I'm having all sorts of problems with it, and it's not fun. (Can't live with 'em and ya can't live without 'em.) Drive's me nuts I'm telling ya. Still going crazy on Etsy now. Haven't been on eBay in awhile,.....Etsy has taken over along with my other obsession of Pinterest. Scary isn't it. As much as I love my laptop,...and not being impressed at all with an Ipad that I have,...I will still get on the damn thing when my laptop is acting up like it has been,....hence typing on an Ipad IS NOT the way to blog,....let me tell ya. I just won't do it. So that's why I've been absent, and also working a lot, and working out a lot too. Going to the gym faithfully. My eating habits are not that great yet, but I HAVE stopped drinking soda altogether. (That's a miracle in itself.) I am SO ADDICTED to soda it's sic. But it's been almost a month now with NO SODA and I'm not gonna lie,....it's really hard. Some people it's alcohol, some drugs,...me = SODA. Coca Cola. OMG,....I could just shoot it in my veins and I'd be happy. Jeez! I've lost almost 10 lbs. already,....but I do have to really get ahold of my eating sweets too. Anyways~ tomorrow is Thanksgiving,....my FAVORITE holiday,....I wait all year for Thanksgiving. No presents to worry about giving, and wrapping,...and decorating, and all that garbage,....no pressure. Just good food, family, friends, and naps,...maybe some football,....more food, more naps,...LOVE LOVE LOVE. How can ya not? I mean really. How can you not like Thanksgiving. All my favorite stuff rolled into one. Now Christmas on the other hand I could do without. Don't get me wrong,...I love surprises and presents as much as the next person,....but to have so much pressure put on you for Christmas is too much for me,...and the older I get,....the more I dislike the whole thing, and what it's turned into. The whole Black Friday thing,....and all that crap disgusts me. It's just too much for me,....I say we just have two Thanksgivings and be done with it. That's what I'm most thankful for,....having Thanksgiving at all with my family, and friends,...people I love,.....great food,........and my kittehs, and hubby. Yeah,...I'm getting better little by little.
Went to the gym today early (for me,) and did some cardio and I watched the (damn) news, and had to see some guy caught on video sic-ing his dog on a cat that ended up mauling him to death and when the cat tried to get away he stepped on it. I love ppl. *(Total friggin' sic asshole)* So that really pissed me off for the rest of my workout, not to mention my day. (The great news is he got prison time, - which really isn't enough for me but I'll take it.) Then,....I get done with my workout, decide to go to Starbucks and get a coffee which was great,..some guy sitting outside with his gorgeous Great Dane was a real treat. That dog was so beautiful,...I couldn't stop staring. So-somewhat in a better mood I get in my car to drive home, get on the road, and this sweet lil duck was trying to cross the road so I stopped pretty far away from the lil thing, and no one had a problem,...but this MFer of a person coming the other way wasn't going to, as I was watching I thought for sure he was going to run it over, so I pulled my car into the on-coming lane, beeped my horn, and got out ready to frigging punch this idiot. Some young guy too. Rolled his window down and says to me, 'it's just a duck',....I tried to pull him thru his car window and went off yelling at him. Called him every name in the book, and was still yelling that he was afraid of a girl as he was driving away trying to get away from me. What a coward and poor excuse of a human being. (I yelled that too.) I was livid,...I got home and just cried. I've been doing so much better lately,...but days like this just makes me want to give up trying to like ppl. I HATE the very air they breath and I'm ashamed to be apart of them. What pigs. I swear I would've been arrested if that guy had gotten out of the car. The poor lil duck scooted across the street by less than an inch of his lil life,...poor baby. I can't imagine all the stuff that happens that I don't see. Makes me sic. I'm still seething about it. I went out early with Munky today and we sat outside in quiet, cool afternoon in the yard just being happy and looking at bugs and lizards. Sugar ended up finding us, and I sat out with him after Munky wanted to go in. He was especially cute with me too. They make my life balanced. I see them, and I'm around them , and I forget wasting all my time on being mad and pissed off, and I'm just happy with them. Watching them play or watch everything outside. They are so cute and beautiful and smart. I can't imagine when we get a dog. I'll be so in love with him too. Animals can teach us so much if we just use common sense and shut up and pay attention. Believe me. Sooooooo ~ I'm still working on getting my turquoise bracelets from Etsy,...so cool,...on Etsy ppl let me put stuff on layaway which is great and can get a little much for me. I will end up putting everything on layaway if I can. I have three things on layaway and have paid one thing off already. It is great but dangerous for me. Nothing else new. I AM really EXCITED about next week being Thanksgiving. My FAVORITE holiday of the year. LOVE Thanksgiving. It always goes by too fast for me. Thank goodness the company I work for closes on Thanksgiving, and Christmas Day every year.First time in my life that I've had those days off for sure and I'm glad to get those,...believe me. All this crap about Target and Walmart starting their Black Friday at 8pm on Thursday Thanksgiving night is bull. Total jerks to do that. Can't these ppl just have a nice quiet day with their family and not have to worry about going to work?! Really? They can kiss my ass. I won't be shopping there anymore. DONE.
Well,....this Monday (which is Veteran's Day,) will be my/our 6 year WEDDING anniversary. I truthfully count since our first date as our anniversary which was 1/21/90. So yeah,...we've been together for a long time. Longer NOT married than married. So in honor of our anniversary, I'm taking three days off ; Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. And because they really need me on Weds.,- because that's when we get humongous shipments in,...I'm working on Weds. and than Thursday I'm off again because of the "closing" with "Big Ang". Whopee. I'm just damn happy we are selling that place. We made our last $512 maintenance payment a few days ago,...and god willing, we will be done with that place. I'll be so happy. One step closer to moving out of this armpit of South Florida. I'll be doing a happy-dance on Thursday. Yeay baby!!! Other stuff,.....just happy too on how the election turned out and that is all and as political as I will get. (thank you god, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you ) So I found two turquoise bracelets on Etsy that I've fallen in love with and am making payments on to help my obsession pin from Pinterest that I'm trying to acquire. So I'll be up to three bracelets, and two rings,....so I'll need to get at least three more bracelets. I've so fallen in love with turquoise again. When I was a teenager you couldn't give that stuff away and now look. On eBay some sterling/turquoise pieces were going for thousand$. I was in shock. I'm telling you,.....if you keep your jewelry and shoes and some clothes from when you were a teenager, it all comes back in style sooner or later. (Altho the saying goes if you are old enough to have worn it the first time you are too old to where it now ,-or so I've heard.) I don't care tho. It's too pretty not to wear it now. I'm freakin' 46 not 86!!! I'm gonna wear it damn it. Anyways~the other thing is us going to see "Man with an Iron Fist" with Russell Crowe,...AND his divorce that has broken my heart. I can't even begin to think of him dating someone else other than his beloved wife Danielle. They are soooo perfect together. Why? Why? Why? But the movie I will say again was GREAT. I LOVED it. If you liked "Kill Bill" you will really enjoy it. I actually want to go see it again. Russell Crowe who plays Jack Knife,...makes me purr in this movie. You'll get it if you see it. Anyways-I'm off now to go hunt down more stuff on Etsy or eBay,...or to pin more stuff on Pinterest. I'm pathetic aren't I?
Okay,...so I'm busy working a lot, and working-out a lot now. I don't have a lot of down time, but at least I'm back lifting weights again. It's slow,....but I'll get back into it totally again. I can feel it in me. And more good news on the real estate front for us. We have a closing date with "Big Ang" for Nov.15th,...and it can't come quick enough. One more step to moving outta South FL. (*sigh*) I've been going crazy on Etsy and Pinterest now. I've kinda left eBay in the dust for awhile. I've been buying turquoise bracelets like crazy to get that look that I'm totally obsessed with. I can't stop myself either. I'm on my 3rd bracelet and found two rings I'm in love with. We'll see. Maybe I'll take a picture when I'm done and you can weigh in if it's worth it, and if it looks like I'm trying too hard or it looks cool. Oh! Who knows! (I certainly don't.) Nothing else new. Took the kittehs out tonight,....beautiful night, but still too warm out. I want the 40's and 50's again. Anything. Well-this is short and sweet,....but I'm off to do some browsing. See ya!
Okay,...so I can't seem to get this picture I saw from Pinterest outta my head. I like, have to have this look. Maybe I'm crazy,....but I can't seem to stop being OBSESSED with it,....and getting this look on me. (Only I'd do it with some sort of denim shirt.) And I'm willing to go in debt to do this,-THAT'S HOW OBSESSED I AM WITH THIS PICTURE. How can I be like this? Do other people (girls,) go thru this? I can't stop thinking about it,....like when I found that Givenchy bag on eBay and HAD to have it,...or the "shoe myth" Manolo Blahniks from SATC,...got those too,....I mean is there something really wrong with me that I can't get this picture outta my head? I have to get this look at any cost. I do. And I don't care what I have to do to get it, and soon as possible. Soooo,....just putting it out there. Cause I'm crazy,...I'm in my crazy place,...and don't know what to do. I'll show you my look compared to this one once I get it. Contrast and compare. How's that? Over the edge or what? Okay,.......I'm going back in,.........eBay, Pinterest,.....I'm outta here,....
So last night my hubby and I were watching "Blue Bloods" on DVR,...and a commercial came on that I did a double take on,(even tho we usually skip the commercials,) and so did my hubby. I saw a picture of Russell Crowe flash across the screen,...OH YES,...Russell Crowe,...only the other man of my dreams,....he has another new movie coming out, (besides Les Miserables with Anne Hathaway that I could take it or leave it,) but if he's in it for more than a cameo which I believe he is,...I will see that also. But FIRST will be "Man with an Iron Fist",...and gawd, I can't wait. I love, love, love, every movie that he's ever done since "The Insider". He is just so unbelievable talented to me,...and yes, I know he has a temper to go with that,...but so what. He's smart, talented, and up to a week or two ago, he was happily married with two kids,...and I loved that about him. He seemed like one of those guys that took marriage very seriously, and would do anything to make it work,(how I am, and more people should be now-a-days.) I guess his career is more important, and for that I am very let down and disappointed in him,...cause being a happily married family man is very attractive. (Not to have an affair with,...I DON'T mean it that way.) I just love that someone's happily married. Same thing when I found out my favorite athlete got divorced after like 16 years of marriage. (Patrick Roy.) It honestly broke my heart. I don't get it. It makes me crazy when I think about it. How could someone give up after all that time? When do you stop saying,..."I did that with him," or "oh, I went there with him"? It would never end. And they both have kids together,...how much worse could that be? I mean,...I don't care how "amicable" it is supposedly,....it just breaks my heart all the way around. Mind you I'm not being judgmental, I'm really not. My husband and I both came from parents that were together til the day they died. My parents were so lovey-dovey it was kinda gross growing up with that. Now I look back and think how cute it was. How lucky I was,and they were. You don't see that today,.....I almost think it's more common to come from divorced parents,....and again,...I can't imagine. I don't know,...it's just kinda sad. I mean you can't grow old and have your "career" take care of you and keep you company,-right? So on that note,...I will proceed to Pinterest,..and go have some fun and forget about all the divorces and break-ups. Too sad, and disturbing to me. Besides,...now I have to think about who he's going to date next. Ewwww,..... P.S. Gawd he IS GORGEOUS tho. THAT'S A MAN. Whew!!!
Okay,....so second day at the gym today and it was great. I'm so sore it hurts to move, and I love it. I've missed this feeling so much. Tomorrow morning I have to bring my car into the shop to be serviced. I hate Lexus dealerships. Hate the whole damn thing,...but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. Some light came on two days ago when I was driving,....it said "TRAC OFF". Whatever that means. So into the shop it goes. It's been due for an oil change anyways. I just hope there is nothing seriously wrong with it. (*Keeping my fingers crossed.*) I'm off this Sunday,...and I'm so happy to have it off. Things at the new location are so much more relaxing,...and just plain better. I have to admit, I like it,......even the drive is relaxing. And nothing happening on eBay,...and yes,....I'm still TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH PINTEREST. Totally.
I just can't stop. Who the heck thinks up these websites? And why can't I think one up? People make a ton of money on all these things, and I can't get thru taking my car to the shop. I have thought up two apps that I would like to talk to someone about,....but I don't know if that's such a good idea. I'm a little embarrassed about showing someone my (maybe stupid) ideas. I've never been very confident about my writing or anything of that nature. It seems too personal. Too close. Too much to reveal. I don't know. And on another note,...today I was coming home from the gym and some moron came so close to hitting a duck crossing the street I almost followed them, and started a fight. Thank god I was quick enough to pull my car across two lanes to stop them from hitting it. I'd much rather have me and my car hit, then the duck,...than I could really go nuts on someone. I've been trying my hardest to control my anger, and issues. I think I'm doing pretty well,.....as long as no harm comes to any animals whatsoever in my near presence. I WOULD GO BALLASTIC ON ANYONE WHO DOES ANYTHING TO ANY ANIMAL EVER IF I COULD. I WOULD ACTUALLY ENJOY IT TRUTHFULLY. That I don't think I'll ever be able to control. And on that note,....I'm off to bed. Very anxious about taking my car in. Keep ya posted.
Okay,.....so today was finally my d-day. I got to the gym after much procrastination, and I worked-out. Finally. I missed it. A lot. It felt great too,....altho,....I could feel my over-weight-ness on me. I now knew how others felt when I was in the gym working-out, in total shape, and they were trying to get to that point. Now I'm the one,...but I won't let myself feel inferior. I won't. I belong there just as much as the others who ARE in shape. I WILL get there one day. Definitely. I just feel so good that I worked-out. I'm sore already, and I love that feeling,...I've soooooo missed that feeling. I can't say it enough. Altho at the risk of really not being on good sides with my hubby right now,...I'm glad I went. I don't know. We haven't been getting along lately, and I don't know why. We are so not running on all cylinders,....like I said,...we haven't been getting along at all,......and I don't like it. Well I'm not going to harp on it. That's the last thing anyone wants to hear about,- is all that crap. It'll pass. I'm just glad I got to the gym. Can't wait to go tomorrow. Keep ya posted.
Sometimes I feel so good it's scary, and others times,...I want nothing to do with the outside world. I hate it. I went to sign-up at the gym today. Just sign up,...and I did. One big step for me. Than I came home, and my husband and I proceeded to get in this huge fight about what gym I signed up at. I couldn't believe it. I was so happy I took this major step,...and he ruined it with this big disagreement. We yelled at each other,...and I went into the bedroom, shut the door,and fell asleep with Munky. I get like that when I'm mad. I just need to shut myself off, and away. So now he's at the condo checking things out for tomorrow's inspection,(which we were going to do together,) but I think he knew I wouldn't go. To just leave me alone. And he did,-thankfully. And on the bright side,...it looks like our contract with this "Big Ang" is going to go thru,...hopefully she will buy it, and we will be one step closer to moving to Canada. I like that sound. Now Munky is waiting to go for a walk,...so I think I will go outside with her, in the quiet,...and just relax, and watch her play. That always puts me in a good mood.
Today I'm suppose to go and sign up, and start working-out at the gym. After almost 5 years of NOT WORKING OUT,...and almost 25 years OF working-out,...here I am. D day. I'm scared, anxious, excited, and nervous all rolled into one. I can't wait to feel sore,...to lift weights and challenge myself. I can't wait to feel that feeling of being strong again. And on another note,...last night we were watching the Oakland A's and Detroit play, and we were in the last inning, and Oakland got a hit, and our TV/cable,...whatever you call in now-a-days, went out. My husband got so aggravated,...he went and grabbed a beer,and went and sat in the pool. I was on the phone with AT&T for over an hour. So needless to say,...they are coming today to 'fix' it, and come to find out while on the phone, the box in our cardio room isn't working either. And to even top that off,...2 mins. after I got off the phone with them, my husband came in,....and played around with the TV and got it working. Can you imagine? After over an hour of this tech guy telling me to try this, that, and the other,...my husband comes in, pushes two buttons, and BAM! it's working. Wonderful. (The other TV box is out tho. So they still have to come today and fix that.) I hate waiting for service people to come out to the house. And the way Munky is, it feels me with MORE trepidation than ever. And on a fun-er side,..we went and saw Taken 2 last Monday night. I loved it, but I'm partial,..I loved the first one. Made me look at Liam N. in a whole new light. Handsome and very attractive. Wow. The meaner and more capable a man is, the more he becomes attractive to me.(Hence my husband,...at one time one of the meanest bouncers/security guys in Coconut Grove.) Yup. Actually had an initiation at U of M one time to" get a picture with the mean bouncer at.....," as one of the things they had to do for the new football team members. I thought that was great. I know it sounds crazy, but I really find stuff like that attractive. My husband liked no one at all, but he liked/loved me,....so yeah,....and here we are 23 years later.(*happy sigh*) Still love him, like him, and think he's wonderful like there's no one else. And he can be meaner than a snake to people when they deserve it. Just what I like. Any who~ I'm off to do some eBay-ing, and my new obsession,...Pinterest. Yeah,.....I'm losing it. (Wish me luck on the gym thing.)
So again we get a call from our real estate agent today that for the second time, this lady,.."Big Ang" from the reality show "Mob Wives" is interested in buying our condo. And ya know what I say?! WHAT-EV-A!!!
Not only did she blow us off last time, but she put a bunch of stipulations on us when she was interested and then never got back to us. We were than told that she bought the place below us. Now wouldn't you rather have a penthouse, than say,...apt.#10-E???!!! Wouldn't you rather live in Penthouse-E? Anyways~ she way under bid us, and we are going to counter offer, but I don't think she's that interested. I don't really understand what the hell she's doing, or trying to find out truthfully. I just wish she'd put in a real offer, and quit playing games. Who is this person anyways? I'm going to have to do some research and find out who she is. Maybe it will give me some insight on to her"ways". Anywho~ went to the doctor today,...I've been going every other week now,...trying to control my anger issues, and try to get myself somewhat under control. You know I'm having those anger problems. After all we've been thru here,...the doctor thinks it's post traumatic syndrome. I don't know exactly what that means or what to make of it,...but I'm still going,...and I will get myself back together if it's the last thing I do. I swear it. I even told my husband this morning that this Thursday(my day off,) that I will go sign up at a gym and try to start lifting weights again. I mean if I put some $$$ down, at least it will be an incentive to not waste it and go. (At least that's what I'm thinking and hoping.) This new location that I'm working at now,...4 out of 6 people,(not including myself are all under the age of 26, and are more professional than the other location that I worked at.) And they all work out. So that's another incentive. All eat healthy there,...no pizza's every Friday,...no wings,....etc.etc.etc. So that's another good thing about it. I just have to keep up with the driving,....and the doctor knows it, and still won't prescribe me my medication. So now I have to go back to my old doctor and start all over again there,...and just stay with her. She does everything for me. Anyways,....I've been busy on eBay,...just sold an old Coach purse, and an Ann Taylor skirt that's been in my closet with tags on it for about 4 years now. I'm just sic sometimes with shopping. I ended up buying an 8 carat canary sapphire pear shaped ring I found on there. Nice deal, but still not cheap. Sometimes I feel like I just have to have it no matter what. That's how I've accumulated so much clothes, and shoes. It makes me feel better to look good, is there anything wrong with that? Apparently not enough to get back into the gym tho. I have to do that this week. I HAVE TO. Well that's all the fun, exciting stuff going on here with me. Just a par-tay,...ain't it? Yup. (I'll keep ya posted.)
Nothing new going on with me. How boring can I get? Just working,...paying bills, and checking things out on eBay. Altho now I've started on Pinterest,...and I'm addicted. I just can't seem to get the button downloaded,(uploaded,-whatever,...) to my header, so I can't cruise say,...eBay or Etsy and "pin it", when I find something I like or think is pretty cool. I'm so tech challenged. I'm lucky I've gotten this far. So,.....still driving a lot to work. Nothing new on the condo,....and still sitting here in this house. It's not looking like we'll be outta here by July(2013,) to be honest. We're hoping that with "season" around the corner, we'll be getting some interest in the place. I mean we're down to $220,000 for a penthouse condo on the beach, with views of both the ocean AND inter-coastal. It's large almost 1600 sq.ft. so it's not tiny or anything,...TWO balconies,...granite counters in the kitchen,stainless steel appliances, marble flooring in the entryway and bathrooms,...tons of huge closets,....24 hrs. security, covered parking,...a gym, sauna, pool directly on the beach,...I mean you can't beat it,...so WHY? WHY IS IT NOT SELLING? And just so ya know, I refuse to live in a highrise,...and they don't allow any animals, so it's out of the question for us now. Besides,...I couldn't take Munky outside ever,...and she'd have nothing to look at,...and we wouldn't see Sugar anymore,....so NO,....it's outta the question. It has to sell. It has to. I'm going nuts here. What the hell are we going to do? I'm still not working out either and it is starting to really affect my hubby and I. I mean,...he's getting mad at me because I'm NOT working out, but it's hard,....I dunno'. Work and all,....I mean other people work full time jobs, and work out and have kids, and busy households,...and they find the time. I just can't seem to get motivated,....or find the energy,...or even care,.....I'm having a hard time dealing with things. I mean,- I miss working-out, I miss lifting weights,...I miss that feeling of being and feeling strong(er.) And the soreness,...I loved when I felt sore,....I knew I did something right. I miss it,....but apparently not enough. Not enough to get my fat ass in the gym. So I guess I'll be one of those that talks about,..."I used to be in shape",.........god I hate people like that. I know now how it happens tho,.....it's called 'Life'.
I've been soooo absent here for the last couple a weeks adjusting to my new location at work since I was transferred. I have to admit, the people there are so much more professional than the ones that I worked with here in my old location. It's a huge difference at work now, -working with people who actually work and do what they are suppose to do without getting in every one else's business, and complaining about having to do anything and everything that they are getting paid for. I just want to work, and do the best I can when I'm there, and maybe even contribute a little more than I have to and go home. And that's exactly what I got. It's great except for the 20 minute ride there one way. Before I was literally one minute from home. ONE MINUTE. But I'm trying to look at the good points; I don't come home crying, aggravated, and steaming mad because someone complained all day about how hard they were working all the while taking cigarette breaks every 15 minutes, and calling home to talk to their kid, sick father, or brother that they are mad at, every two seconds. So I have one side or the other. I actually come home now in a good, relaxed mood for a change. I just never in my life had to drive that far to go to work. Somehow, I realized, that I have ALWAYS lived two minutes from work, and it's just ended up that way. Really. Strange tho. I've been thinking that maybe the drive home decompresses me, and gives me time to relax, and calm down,....but there's nothing to calm down about truthfully. It really is fine. I get along with everyone there great, I already get along really well with the assistant manager,...he's great and really my kinda funny,...so,.....that's really it in a nutshell. I tried going shopping yesterday after work, and just didn't have it in me. (Can you believe it?!) What the hell is wrong with me? I work 1 minute now from the largest shopping mall in the state of Florida,(Sawgrass Mills Mall,) and I don't feel like shopping. Don't ask me, because I don't get it. I have time tho,...it's only been two weeks, believe me, I have a lot of time to do some damage there. You know I'll keep you posted.
Sooooo,.......I woke up Friday to my regional manager calling me, as I'm getting ready for work,...he tells me that I'm being transferred to another office. Can you believe it? I live literally 1 minute away from work, and now I'm transferred to 10 miles away. Kinda sucks. But believe it or not,....I took it all in stride, and looked at it as a good thing,....change isn't always bad,(even in my book,-ME,-who hates change.) So I went with it, and it's so much more relaxing,...calm nice people,...and the clientele I deal with now is much, much better to be honest. I'm still figuring out the drive tho,...I've ALWAYS lived 1min. from work,....ALWAYS,...so this is kinda new to me,...but I'm dealing. Nothing else new,....my show 'Breaking Bad' is over til July 2013,....and I'm having withdrawals now that Sunday is here and I don't have that to look forward to. Literally. No Breaking Bad, Walking Dead, Burn Notice,....even Blue Bloods is over. So now I only watch House Hunters, reruns of Friends and The Nanny, and David Letterman. Yea,....I could do without a TV. What else? Nothing else really,.....I wish we were that one step closer to moving. If our condo would just sell,...it'd be one giant step closer,.....if we are here another entire summer, I swear I will freakin' move without selling a damn thing! I just can't stay,...I can't. I hate this area,...and our bad memories here,....this house,....I just want out, and I've been hanging on this move for so long,...I just need it to happen. WE need it to happen. My hubby is no better off either. It's so unnerving to see what has happened to us the last few years,....very, very, depressing. VERY. This move will rejuvenate us,...LITERALLY. In so many ways,....I can't even begin to tell you. So I guess we will wait and see,....only time will tell,....and time is NOT on our side right now. We're getting older by the second here,....and it's showing.
This is how things are at work,....I asked for Labor Day weekend off two months ago, and instead, I got Monday and Tuesday off,....and they even called me in last night while hubby and I were at my mom's in Fort Pierce.(I pretended to not see the call.) My brother and his wife, and nephew and his gf were all down from Georgia visiting, so I wanted to see them, and we went only for a the day, but had a great time. Beautiful BBQ on the lake,...sat there all talking and laughing,....I LOVE being with my family. LOVE. My niece even came by and visited for awhile when she got off from work. Telling stories, sitting around,...I love our time with family. Anyways~ I have today off and plan on getting some errands done, but it's raining, and my hubby just went to lie down for a nap,....so,....I'll see what we get done here. Still putting stuff on eBay,....nothing is really selling except a beautiful CK bag last week that I had lying around,.....nothing else happening tho. STILL no offers on our condo. Talking with my brother about properties, and he said up in GA. that everything is all 'under water' (or 'upside down',) as they say. Properties in foreclosures are abundant like it is down here,...so it's no better there. I don't know if that makes me feel better or not. I just want ours sold. Period. Soooo,....my SIL just texted me a picture of a fall wreath she made for my mom today for her front door. I'm so NOT 'crafty' like that. I don't have the patience. I just don't. I wish my whole family all lived close together,...I wish, I wish, I wish. I know,....I take too much for granted. I do know that. I think I'm going to go peruse eBay, and see what I can find now. Some of my Saved Searches: Isabel Marant, Loree Rodkin, Celine and Jimmy Choo handbags, and cat beds. Happy searching!
So we never made the movies last week, and it's not looking like it this week either. Just can't seem to get our butts outta the house. I am a homebody. I love being at home more-so than anywhere else,....even this house. We are cocooned in here,...never open the blinds or windows,(too hot anyways,) only go outside to walk/play with kittehs, or clean the pool,....never answer the door for anyone,...and we have no land line, so no phone,....just the way we want it. Even our backyard is so private between the 7 foot tall privacy fence and all the palms grown in, you can't see out anywhere, or no one can see in,.....so yeah,......we are cocooned in. So last week I finally realized that my car tag was expired,(I never got one of those renewal things in the mail,) so I've been driving around for 6 weeks with an expired tag and didn't even realize it! I went last week to renew and it was almost $80!!! Cheese and rice! I was so mad that it cost that much, I steamed for the whole week. It just made me so mad that it was that expensive. I remember when it was like $30 for cris-sake. I'm just getting older I guess when I start saying that. I remember when,_______,(fill in the blank.) Oh well,...I got it, and that's the main thing. So now I have to start working on changing my passport to my married name,...(it's only been 6 years!!!) Gawd I'm lazy. What else going on here? I screamed at some junkie looking guy in front of my work for trying to pick up/chase the ducklings on Tuesday. Yep. I want all freaky deaky on him, and yelled and ran at him, and threatened him and told him to leave them alone,...and he got all mouthy with me, and soon as I said something about calling the cops to 'see what he was holding', he started walking away real quick. I got louder and meaner than,....but he walked away even faster. I'm like a mama bear when it comes to any of my ducks and/or ducklings,(ANY ducks/animals really.) NO ONE, and I mean NO ONE will bother them when I'm there,...those sweet little babies. I wanna kill people sometimes, especially those whose parents are so stupid they can't be bothered to teach their kids to respect animals. Drives me up the wall,...I have no tolerance or patience for that. You don't know how many times I've yelled at kids AND THEIR IGNORANT-ASS parents to keep their kids away from ducklings, and that the mother will attack,...but these DUMB-ASS people just sit there and watch and think it's all cute watching their kids trying to touch/pickup/catch a little baby duckling. REALLY? REALLY? I'll say it AGAIN,....people NEVER cease to amaze me at how STUPID they are,...every,.....single,....day. Makes me hate the general population more and more. (and yes,-I'm seeing a therapist about this very thing, so don't go all judge-y on me!!!)
So we HAD a contract on our condo, and the person changed their mind. It happens. My husband was NOT HAPPY. I took it in stride. It'll happen,...the place is too nice for someone not to snatch it up,...it's a great deal. I mean I describe it to people and they can't believe it hasn't sold, but in this day and age,....I believe it. It just sucks. And this house will be far worse to sell. Far worse. I just want to be gone already,...I just need for us to get out,....and hopefully in the next year. We are barely hanging on to our sanity here. It's just too overwhelming for us. It is. The head stuff is what's bringing us down, and outta our lives. We are just literally wasting our time away here. I know about living in the moment, and making the most of every day, but I can't even get thru the day here without hoping for something better when we move. Believe me, when we get to where we are going,.....we will REALLY wonder how we ever got thru this. This is definitely the darkest days we've ever been thru, for maybe the exception of one other time. But this has lasted far longer. Five years long. So yeah,....it pretty much sucks totally. I have off the next two days after working fourteen days straight. Sic. I was hoping we would be celebrating the contract on our condo, but it's not meant to be. Not yet at least. I have a few things up for sale on eBay,....and hopefully we are going to see 'The Expendables' tonight. I love those guys. Dolph Lundgren, Jason Statham,....Stallone,....love them. I can't wait to see it. (See,....I'm easily made happy,...I really don't need much, and I will need even less once we move.) I think my spending definitely coincides with my unhappiness of being here. My eBay-eness. I don't know. Time will tell. So,....no other news in our life. Family is good, friends are good,...most importantly my kittehs are good,....so I'm happy at the moment. I'm just plain vanilla right now. (Altho I could go for a hot fudge sundae anytime!)
Okay,....so nothing is selling on eBay, I've been doing cardio sporadically,...and I can't seem to get ahead at work no matter what I do. BLAH. My favorite shows are over,....(Burn Notice, Dallas,Blue Bloods,) and the worst of it all is tonight is 'Breaking Bad's fifth show. I wanna cry.Only three more to go til next year. I have NEVER been like I am with this show,....hanging on every word, every scene, every moment. And my sweet Jesse. I love him in this. When this show is finally over, I'll have to go buy the whole thing, and watch them all over and over and pick it all apart, seeing what I missed. My husband and SIL are all the same way. We have never agreed on a show but this one. It's for every one if you don't be too judgmental of the content.(Drug dealers.) Some of it hits so close to home its scary. (And I don't mean the drug dealers either. Just some of the characters in it.) That's why I feel so strongly about Jesse. ANYWAYS~ nothing else happening here tho. Still applying for jobs online like crazy,...no replies from anyone. Sad. I'm thinking about trying this online company that someone in our store has worked for,....it's called Liveops.com. Anyone heard of it? Any info on it? I mean I know it's legit, (cause the guy worked for them, but didn't keep the job because it had no benefits, and he has a family.) But it would be perfect for me to do at night when I'm off,(to get my foot in the door,) and keep it til we moved to Canada, and then do it full time there,-right? It's from home,....and I think I can do it. I KNOW I can, but I'm a little scared. We'll see. If anyone has any opinions about them or heard of them or even works for them, someone let me know. I'm curious about any information. Anything at all. I want to work from home. End of story. Sooooo~ that's all the news here. Boring stuff. A few bites on our condo, but nothing promising. Keeping my fingers crossed that we will sell it soon. (A view from one of two balconies. Ocean AND intracoastal views BOTH.)
Been watching lotsa movies,...all kinds, 'The Quick and the Dead', 'The Town', 'Inglorious Bastards','Kill Bill',etc.,....a lot of different movies,...different tastes, but all good. I watch these movies,(and many others,) over and over, and over again. Every time they are on, I watch 'em like I've never seen them before. 'No Country for Old Men' is like that. It's a hard movie to watch, but I love the banter in it,....the dialogue is great, can't get any better. 'The Town' is like that too,....all the movies I listed are like that. Nothing like really good dialogue. Keep me coming back EVERY TIME. In the midst of all these movies, I've really become fans of many actors that people would never have paid attention to. Some you definitely know like my favorite; Russell Crowe. (Gawd, he is just perfect to me.) But I've really fallen for others like; Til Schweiger, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Max Ryan, Jason Statham, Jeremy Renner,Michael Madsen, and Javier Bardem. It's those people that you never really know, or hear about, and are in the background sometimes that make the movie. If I had to pick some actresses like that, it would be Gina Gershon, Carla Gugino, Joan Cusack, and Kelly Lynch. I love them. I'm waiting patiently for the 'Expendables 2' to come out next week. That,- I wanna go see at the movies. Today I'm hoping we'll go see The Bourne Legacy,...or Batman or something along those lines. I'll let you know what we see and how it was, if you're interested.
Soooo,....I just put some new stuff on eBay, and it's been stormy and rainy so I can't take Munky out for a walk,my hubby just went to lie down for awhile,....so I'm stuck in watching "Friends", and waiting til I have to go to bed being that I have to open tomorrow morning. A lot of coffee will be had. (If I were smart I'd still be putting things up on eBay to sell, but three is more than enough for me right now.) Anyways~I'm still looking all over for another job,....this applying, and waiting nonsense is like torture. You think you have a chance and when you turn your back and walk away, they probably all laugh, roll their eyes, say "yeah, right", and throw your application/resume in the garbage!!! This sucks. I hate it. I don't wanna work in the mall because well of course they are hiring left and right and come the holidays, I'll be working worse hours than I am right now at this stinky-ass job. It's all just making me crazy. All I want is a nice office job, with nice office hours, and weekends, and holidays off,....benefits, and crappy pay. Am I asking for too much? I can do five things at once and not break a sweat, I can deal with public relations without batting an eye, I have no ego when it comes to getting things done, and I think my resume proves that, what with almost 20 years of bartending in a 5AM bar, part owner of a gym, and volunteering numerous times at No-Kill animal shelters, I've done it all. I mean really? What the hell do these jobs want from me!!! My right arm? My first born? My husbands bank account? I mean really,...WHAT? WHAT?! I have to keep getting on Indeed, Careerbuilders, and the many others I can't remember right now. I even learned how to write out my resume,....I mean really? How hard is that? Will anyone even look at me seriously for a job? Ever? AGAIN-wanna buy anything from me on eBay?
So work has been a nightmare, and I'm actively looking for another job. Anything really. I'd prefer an office/receptionist job,...but it has to have benefits,...pay I don't care about, but benefits,-YES,-it HAS to have. That damn job will be the death of me. On to better things,....my hubby is doing great after his cancer surgery,......totally cancer-free, which is the main thing. He has to still go give blood every other week, but other than that,...all good. Thank god. Been having trouble here in kitteh-land. Our neighborhood tomcat keeps trying to attack Munky and one night he got a hold of her and it was quite ugly. She was so traumatized, she didn't want to go outside for like a week. Finally I started taking her out again, but armed with a water gun, and sure enough,-twice I caught him sneaking up on her,(us.) Made me so mad, and poor Munky just ran to get in the house. So we haven't been going on our daily walks around the yard like usual. Poor thing. I went and bought her some new toys,....and I bought her a new bed,...but she's still bored. Right now I'm getting ready to try to take her out,.....only if she wants to tho. I NEVER force her. I would never do that. Only if she wants to,...so,......and getting ready to watch 'Breaking Bad' tonight. I CANNOT wait. And no news on our condo for sale. Sucks. Oh well, .....there's always eBay.
Went to my mom's place on Tuesday and coming home,(actually driving home,) I had a full blown panic attack. Thank god my husband understands. We pulled over, and he drove the rest of the way home. I haven't had that happen in a while. Then I was supposed to go out to lunch to meet my bestest friend ever from Coconut Grove, and I cancelled because I just feel to panic-y. I can't drive there, I can't even picture walking around the mall even,...something I love, and I can't even think about doing it. (My husband is mad at me now for not trying to go. He even offered to drive me there and pick me up, and I still didn't wanna go.) I just don't know what is wrong with me. I feel horrible. My vacation week off from work and it hasn't been all that fun. Not like I thought it would. I feel like everything is closing in on me. I have a doctor's appt. on Monday, and I'll have to tell her all about my week. Wonderful. And it's a new doctor,...I have phobia's about that too. Takes me forever to get used to a new doctor, not to mention it HAS TO BE a woman. NO MEN whatsoever. EVER. (Yes I know I sound crazy.) I love being home right now and doing absolutely nothing,....I'm going to cook a nice dinner tonight,...and look forward to watching "Breaking Bad" Sunday night. I'm holding on for that. (Scary how something so little can keep you going.) How pathetic am I right now? You don't have to answer that!!!
Well tomorrow is my 48th birthday, and I swear I feel like I'm 78. I just can't get a grip. I swore I'd never be this person, and here I am: graying, overweight, and hating the world. I have yesterday til next Sunday off to do as I please with my hubby, and we'll see if we get anything done. (I doubt it tho.) No work, and plans only to visit my mom overnight tomorrow. (Which always leaves me feeling guilty, and horribly worried about leaving Munky.) I wish she was one of those kitties that loves traveling. Funny too,....I've been telling my husband that lately I've been feeling more and more 'mommy-ish', and that's why I want a little dog to hold and baby and take with me everywhere. I want one like a woman wants a baby. I cried the other day at work when a woman who worked at a vet's office came in holding this sweet, lil, pup about three months old,....and the story just broke my heart,....someone had dropped the puppy off at the vet's telling them that they had chased away three kids who were dragging this sweet baby down the street tied with a rope. Makes me sick. I would be in prison right this moment if I had found those kids doing that. I swear to you,...I can't stand the thought of it,...and if you saw this sweet, calm little pup who got in my arms, and just melted into me,...hugged me even,...I cried having to give her back. I really did, I'm talking tears streaming down my face. At least this woman said she was taking him home and keeping him. He was a sweet, beautiful boy that I'm having a hard time letting go of in my head even. I feel like I was abandoning him too by not taking him home with me. Too much for me to handle. Just gets me angrier by the second. Really. Anyways~ I got my Givenchy bag from EBay, and I LOVE it,...it's gorgeous. Better even than the picture. It's sic. I'm eyeing a pair of Robert Clergerie boots now, only up to $34 and barely worn! I'll see if I get 'em. Who knows, but deals are there to be had,-trust me.I think I buy stuff to make me feel better about the stuff that bothers me and that I feel like I can't change. Who knows. Well,...I'm going to see how this day progresses,...we have the whole week to do nothing or get some stuff done around here,...we'll see how that works out. (I vote for nothing, but that doesn't get me a step closer to moving to Canada, so not the right answer.) I'll keep ya posted.
Okay, so can you believe I just got this on EBay for $240?! It's an authentic Givenchy Nightingale bag. Sure,-it's used, but do I care? I don't have that kinda ego,.....I'm not too good for a used bag like this. Hell! I'm lucky to be able to ever own this bag. It's beautiful. I love the used, distressed look. I've been looking for one for awhile, and never thought I'd get this kinda deal. Never. I'm just glad I got it. Same as those Manolo Blahniks. Believe me, I have champagne tastes, with a beer pocket,(or however that goes.) Anyways~ my husband has cancer removal surgery tomorrow,....and I'm very uneasy tonight. I'll keep ya posted on how everything goes. Probably why I went for it.
Watching TV,....the new 'Dallas' has got my attention,....loving it. I loved the original,...I just wish Victoria Principal was back on there. I loved her. And CAN NOT WAIT for "Breaking Bad" to start July 15th,...it's killing me waiting,.....and to make matters worse,...they are doing this last season in TWO PARTS. It'll kill me I tell ya. No show has ever made me feel this involved, emotional, and craving to see more than "Breaking Bad". Ever. I have to agree too, with the critics,...best written TV show ever,....yes,...ever. (And acted in my opinion,)...Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul are just unbelievable,...they really are,...........anyways,.....I'm hoping to get the second week of July off for vacation, which will really be a STAYcation,.......because I'm hoping we will start re-doing our bathrooms here, to get this house going and up for sale. Next step, packing and then actually getting there. All scary scary parts. And traveling with Munky scares ME!!! Worries me. All of the above,....I don't want her traumatized,....I'm traumatized just thinking about it. All the stuff. Gotta put more stuff up for sale on EBay,...yeah,...I'm off,....gotta get something done besides work and sleep. Yeah,...I'm pretty boring.
Canada is getting closer,.....even if it's in our minds. We talk about it every night,....and we think about it every day,......I'm mostly worried about Munky,.....and her traveling from the only home she's ever known. Sugar is going to stay with a neighbor that adores him and loves him like we do. We have tried over and over to make him an indoor cat, but ever since we brought Munky home, he has been a growly, hissing, little mean man of a kitty. He tolerates us. He doesn't let us pet or play with him, and he only comes in to nap or eat, and that's it. We have had long talks with our neighbor, and they are a very comfortable older couple with no other pets, and they dote on him like we used to be able to. So,...unfortunately, and heartbreakingly, we are going to have to leave him like his first owner did. I feel horribly, horribly guilty about this every time I think about it, and if someone else told me about this situation, I would say they are horrible people and don't deserve a cat,...but we have honestly tried everything. He was such a sweet boy as a kitten, and he loved us soooo much,...and we loved him like he was our child. But I wanted to keep him indoors,....and he just wouldn't. And it kills me. His first owner was in our spot, where he wouldn't stay indoors, and they had another cat, and he just didn't wanna be in a two cat household,...he gets very jealous of anything else,....he's a one kitty boy,.....but I didn't know this at the time we got Munky,....and her being a kitten I thought he would take to her,...plus being a female,....but a big mistake,....so now this is our situation, and it will haunt me for the rest of my life. I've never 'left' any animal/pet behind,....and it eats away at me and my husband,.....but there is nothing left for us to do. I've exhausted every idea I can think of,....and believe me, no one can think worse of us than we do about it. It makes me sick to my stomach just the thought of leaving him here,....but I do know he will be well taken care of if that's any consolation,....but it's not. I want him, and I want to take him with us,....I just don't know what to do,......it's 'his' territory,....do we take him from that, AND make him an inside cat all at once, and really traumatize him? I just don't know the right thing to do. I just don't. And on to less serious stuff,........July,....the last season of 'Breaking Bad' starts,...and I'm on pins and needles waiting,.....I can't wait to see Jessie,...and see how the whole thing wraps up. I'll keep ya posted!
Happy Father's Day to everyone! Hope y'all make it a great one. Hard day for me. I miss my dad so much sometimes, it's like I'm 10 again, sitting on his lap, and talking a mile a minute, and he would listen to absolutely everything I said, or he would come get in my bed when I couldn't sleep, and we would plan for hours about what we were going to do the next day. He always spent whatever time he could with me and I loved it. He was the light of my life as a child, and growing up I learned what an awesome person he was. My parents had a very open, free thinking mentality when it came to people,......never looked down there nose at anyone, and gave everyone a chance. The LOVED people, and getting to know them. (How that didn't rub off, is beyond me.) Many a nights, they would have big dinners, and friends,(and family,) would come over, and sit at the table for hours on end eating, talking, telling stories, laughing,...drinking,....I remember so many good fun times even as a child,...and then a teenager,....and as an adult. Their get-together s would last until the wee hours of the morning, and many times I and/or my sister would get up and find friends or family sleeping on couches,.....and we would giggle and run back to our room. Easy going, and fun, and a lot of laughter are my memories of my dad growing up. Bike rides, cooking, big Sunday morning breakfasts, great music he'd listen to,....all the great stuff that make up my memories with my dad. Makes me smile to this day. He was such a great, great dad,...I wish everyone could grow up with a father like mine,....it's inconceivable that kids don't. It's inconceivable that they grow up the way they do,....I mean,....we always had dinner together every night,....and Sundays were always big breakfasts, and early big dinners,.....and we would play outside in the pool, or play catch in the front yard, or build forts with chairs and blankets in the front yard,...now kids sit and play video games until their brains are mush,...and forget two parent families,....the idea of marriage now-a-days is like it's a throw away, not forever anymore. I'm so glad I'm not growing up right now,...it breaks my heart to know kids won't have the awesome childhood I had,....sad really. I have to thank my dad for that, and I always will. Happy Fathers Day daddy, I miss you more than you will ever know. I'll forever be a 'Daddy's Girl'.
I know I'm living for my days off from work. Sometimes work just breaks me in to a million pieces. I'm fine when I'm there,...I'm fine on my way home, and then when I get home, I'm totally frazzled. I can't hold back or hold it in,....and my husband sometimes just doesn't understand no matter how I try to explain. Things are still so hard. We have to sometimes work on our together time. It just seems so hard sometimes to line ourselves up to want to do the same things at the same time,-being that I work full time and my hubby doesn't. He's still working-out, and I'm not. So as you can see, it's painstakingly hard to line ourselves up a lot of the time. On my days off I just want to relax and do nothing at all,....others,....I wanna do something very rarely. I love to get on the computer and veg,....or my magazines that I get. I like to curl up and just read quietly. I have a subscription to almost every fashion/beauty mag there is. I love them,....I look at them over and over. I tear out pages if something really grabs me, and feel like I can't live without it. It's like my own personal wish list book/catalog. That's how I bought most of my handbags. You gotta have a lot of patience, and keep an eye out, and know what you're looking for, but I can find it all on EBay. I find what I want in the magazines,....find out as much information as possible about the item,(maybe even go see it in person at the store,) and sit and wait it out. The longer you usually wait,....the better. The longer it's out, the less likely there is a demand for it. I mean,...I saw a handbag by Makowsky in a Elle magazine before Christmas one year that I just had to have. I loved all three colors. I wanted all three and honestly considered going to Macys and buying all three outright. Instead,....I sat and waited. Now all three would've been about $500, but instead I waited,(longingly,) and checked out EBay about three times a week. Eventually I got ALL THREE FOR LESS THAN $275!!! I mean you can't beat almost 50% off, can you?! I've gotten gorgeous Louis Vuitton bags, Chanel bags,(and lots of accessories,)...I've gotten gorgeous handbags by: Mulberry,YSL,Gucci,Chloe,Prada,Loewe,Lanvin,Versace, Givenchy, and Bvlgari. And for every bag, I ended up getting matching wallets and sunglasses to go with them. I have a huge, high end collection, and paid a fraction of the cost from doing a little research and having patience on EBay. I'm selling some stuff now, because I just don't want it all,....it's too much, and the older I get, my tastes are changing more and more. I don't like all the logo stuff,...AND, when we move, I don't want ALL THAT STUFF to pack. My husband is getting on my case more and more as time goes by,...so I figure, if I'm not using it, why not sell it? Sometimes I feel like I'll never need any of it at all anymore, but some of it, I do love, and can't part with some of it. I just can't. So little by little it'll all end up where it ends up.
Nice Sunday at home. I love being home and just doing whatever. I'm making homemade Banana Bread,(from scratch,) and it's in the oven as we speak,(blog.) Things are still so up and down in our lives right now. I think my husband and I are still trying to pull each other out of our legal induced depressions,(after four years.) That damn clusterf*%# was the nightmare of our lives, and we are still trying to get back to normal. Scary. I don't think we will ever be back to where we were at mentally and emotionally. I KNOW it has changed me and not for the better I might add. I'm meaner to people now. I mean, believe me I'm not an jerk for no reason, but if someone does wrong, I've been known to start a fight in public and be outspoken. I mean my mom raised a lady, I don't cuss, (unless I'm mad,) and I don't fight physically,(altho I'm not adverse to the idea, and have once when I was sucker punched by my husband's ex-wife's twin sister,) but I don't take any crap from anyone,(and yes she got a black eye, and a swollen lip,-thank you very much.) I used to be all nonchalant, happy-go-lucky-nothing-ever-bothered-me,- but now? Not so. Everyone in my family has noticed it, and my SIL, and my co-workers, etc., etc.,-you get it. But I just don't know how to not be like that now. And god forbid someone tries to do something to an animal,.....I WILL fight, or hunt them down, and they will regret the day they ever saw me. I HATE people now to the very core, and I don't know what to do about it. I mean, believe me,...I'm very congenial when I'm at the grocery store, running errands,....but get on my bad side and I WON'T let it go. Okay,-no more ranting. Done. Anyways~ nothing else going on our lives. Never heard back from that production company, and no one has made offers on our condo. So we will keep waiting and hoping. We are still trying to get started with the house we are living in, to get it up and ready to sell,...but we are so overwhelmed in our depression(s) that we can't seem to start or even make any decisions where to start. It's not like we have to redo the entire house. Just both bathrooms, and our screened in back patio. The rest of house is great. We did the front landscaping with clusters of beautiful palm trees,....the house has been painted, new roof,....the kitchen is all red cherry wood cabinets, granite counter tops, and stainless steel appliances, new wood floor thru out the entire house,(except the bathrooms obviously.) I mean we are so close,....to that next step. So close. You know when you have to do something, and even tho its for the best, and will certainly make things better, you still drag your feet? Well,-that's what we are doing. It's just the literal moving and packing and getting to Canada is what we dread. We just want to blink and be there. Yeah,....don't I wish.
Life is still piling up on me (us here,) as it is I guess for everyone. How do people deal? How? And to make matters worse?.....have you read about the Causeway Cannibal down here? I know the area, been there more than once.Not far from where I grew up,....Is that disgusting and DISTURBING???OR WHAT??? What is the matter with people? Is this world getting crazier by the day?! I just can't handle it,...how does everyone else? Is it just me? I feel like it is,....everyone else that I read on their blogs just seems like,...la,la, laaaa. Maybe I let things bother me too much. Maybe I'm too sensitive. (Altho towards people I'm getting colder and colder by the day.) Maybe I just don't belong down here in South Florida anymore. I don't feel like it's my 'home'. I've been here my whole life, and loved it when I was a kid, and growing up, and even as a teenager, but since moving out of Coconut Grove,(which was no picnic area either,) things have just gone downhill fast. Moved to Lauderdale-by-Sea, which you would think was a nice area, but you'd be surprised. They are all just older, wealthier crooks and idiots, who can cover their tracks better because they have money. Really. You'd be shocked at what goes on in some of these high end condos, and the crap people have to deal with and ultimately put up with.Condo Commandos. Never again. Never. I don't care if it's oceanfront, and GIVEN to us, NEVER AGAIN. I will not live in any kind of high rise condo ever. Even the really nice one we bought across the street that was only ten units,(to rent out, and/or have family stay at,) was a nightmare. So we do know firsthand. We were never problem people, we always followed all the the rules, never were late with payments, or special assessments,....but the things we had to deal with,.....you would never have believed. Okay,....enough. I give. I'll shut up now. On a different note,....remember my ducks? Well the one that is still alive? Squeakers I call her. Well,....she's now sitting on a nest right in the bushes of the front door of my work. She's stayed close. So I keep saying I'm going to be a grandmother. She is so sweet. I've been feeding her and giving her fresh water everyday. She won't leave her nest. I feel so bad. Last time she had ducklings Big Boy was here with her, and helped her, and kept the few chicks that survived alive. (Two out of thirteen lived thanks to Big Boy protecting them all.) I don't know how to help her without her little hubby around. I am trying to get in contact with a place called Duck Haven, and hopefully will be able to relocate her to someplace safe. I'm sure gonna try. Enough. I'm going to watch the finale of 'Blue Bloods' and 'The Hatfields and McCoys'. One minute I'll be laughing and the next crying. Just like in real life.
Decided to take off an extra two days from work, (so I've had a nice 4 days off filled with nothing but my husband, making dinner, playing with Munky and Sugar, and watching the hockey playoffs and many, many naps. Loving it.) I go back to work tomorrow, and start fresh. It's what I needed,...I think I was heading for a big breakdown. Things were getting to be too much for me and my husband. For the exception of today, it's been rainy, dark and windy here for three of the four days I've been off which is more than fine with me. I love dark, rainy days. More of an excuse to lay in bed, watch some TV, and cuddle with my hubby and kittehs.(Wait til we get dogs. :) cant wait for that.) Anyhow~ really stressing about our condo not being sold yet. Haven't heard anything back from that production company either. Oh well. Been watching alot of House Hunters on HGTV,....I'm addicted. So is my husband. We see all the beautiful places that could be ours, and then we watch House Hunters International, and really go crazy. I think I want to move to Medira, Mexico. I saw THREE gorgeous, gorgeous homes that these guys got to chose from, and there was NO WAY they could go wrong with any of them. (And if you watch the show, you know there is usually only one house that fits all the criteria that the people are looking for.) All THREE were drop dead gorgeous, and I really want to go look at the two homes they didn't get. I'm serious. They were that gorgeous for only $200,000. Very nice. We could live in Mexico. I've been there a few times, but I would have to research that area. Believe me, I was SOOOOOO bowled over by those houses, I immediately wrote down the city, and the original air date of the show and wrote them an email. Haven't heard back from them either. So I have a bunch of nothing. Nothing. I can deal with it. I don't have a choice right? And I miss my duck.
Not so much going on with me as usual. So.FL. is becoming more and more evil to me every day. Things just keep piling up for us. One thing after another to do, just life. Last week at work was HORRIBLE. I went to work and my ducks were there and the next day they weren't,...and then someone from the restaurant across from us, came over Weds. night and told me they found my Big Boy duck ran over. I cried and cried. I know it sounds stupid, but I've been feeding/watching-out for him for over a year now, and it killed me to hear about him. It was my one bright spot at work that made me happy,...now his little mate,(I call her Squeakers) is there wondering around looking for him. It's too sad for me to think about. I cried for days at work. I just need to get a hold of myself, but that poor thing really made my day,.......I miss him. RIP Big Boy,(on the left, with Squeakers in the middle,) I need to get away from people and all the things this area is. I really can't tell you what a beautiful area this used to be, and it gets worse and worse literally by the day. We live in a good area, but every day it seems there are cops looking for someone, or something bad happening. I've never seen anything like it in any place I've ever lived down here. It's very disturbing, and kinda scary. I really can't wait to leave, and I'm sure you and everyone here are sick of hearing me complain about it. I'm telling you the day we actually leave here will be SUCH A RELIEF and a big load off our shoulders. On a better note- we have been getting a little more action concerning our beach condo. And listen to this,...some production company that films reality shows,(like Mob Wives,etc.) wants to film and maybe purchase our condo. Who knew?! Maybe we'll get lucky and they'll buy it and we'll see it on TV. (How pathetic is my little life right now? I hate reality TV.) Oh well, it's something on the good side for once if anything comes of it.
Happy LATE Mother's Day everyone! Hope you had a great one! Us? We went to visit my mom up in Fort Pierce, and had a GREAT time. We went to her new condo, that she had totally redone to her taste, and it came out so comfy, home-y and really, really pretty. I think my mom is pretty happy and comfortable there. She really did it up nice,....it's a very comfortable 2/2, with a sunroom, and you really can't get any better for the price she paid. She bought all new beds and nice firm mattresses, she got new wall mounted flat screen TVs in the living room and both bedrooms, new kitchen appliances, and I just felt so comfortable, like I'd been staying there for years. We bought her one of those Keurig coffee machines that she's been loving that my sister has, so now she has one. She loved it. (I think we are going to get one.) Anyways, had a great time, we (my hubby and I,) took her out to dinner Sat. evening and had Maine lobster. Love, - love, - love. Went home and we just relaxed and watched TV. Sunday we got up and went to breakfast at this neighborhood diner my mom's been wanting to go to, and had a really nice breakfast,...and we dropped my husband off at the condo and my mom and I went furniture shopping, and to a few stores she wanted to show things to me for the condo. It was fun,....and late afternoon we went to my sister's house and had dinner there, and watched my nieces prom video (which was the night before,) and played with all the animals, and just basically all sitting around talking, looking at pictures, and having plain ole' fun,-which I love! My sister and her husband have 4 dogs, 4 cats, 3 chickens/roosters, and two fish. I LOVE going there. It's so always happy times there. Anyways~ came home late last night, and my hubby is at the doctors already doing his blood work, and I'm getting ready to start some laundry. Yep. We're home.(But SO HAPPY to be home and see our kitteh kids.)
Okay,...so considering my last post was kinda serious, and not so happy,....this one will be about how I've come almost full circle of the music I listen to. Believe it or not, when I was really young,(think elementary school,) I listened to AM Top 20. I really loved it, and it really made a big impression on my musical tastes. My father is/was the other BIG influence, and now that I'm in my late 40's, it's come FULL CIRCLE. I catch myself listening to Stevie Wonder, Ray Charles, Gladys Knight,John Denver, Carole King, Barbara ,Streisand,- shall I go on?! Yeah. My father would have been in love with Alicia Keyes, and probably even Lady Gaga. My father had impeccable musical taste for his time. Barbara is my GOD. Any movie she did from the 60's is like all I can watch whenever I find 'em, and I was so traumatized by 'A Star is Born',.....it took me so long to recover from that movie, I STILL feel the after-effects from it. I ALWAYS think if something happened to my husband how horribly DEVASTATING it would be, and how you could NEVER recover from it. Speaking of,.......this month it's been 18 YEARS since my father has been gone, and I cried my eyes out all week. I didn't even realize it until I went on Facebook and realized my niece who was born two weeks after my dad died, her 18th birthday was this week. Talk about shock, sadness, and memories. Wow. Hit me like a ton of bricks. So hard. I don't think I'll ever get over my father being gone, - even at the ripe old age of 47. (My mom at 74 STILL gets extremely upset when the day comes that her mother passed when she was 15 yrs. old. SO traumatizing.) I ended up listening to Carly Simon, Carole King, Kenny Loggins, Toto, and Paul Davis when I was in junior high school. I mean the main bands I loved were all the southern rock that came out then too. I was obsessed with Lynyrd Skynyrd,Allman Bros,. Marshall Tucker, Outlaws, Blackfoot, Charlie Daniels, and Molly Hatchet. Yeah,- I had very varied tastes,.....STILL DO. I remember when I was in junior high two girls that I idolized, invited me to a concert, and it was Kenny Loggins,-we had a blast,- and I was hooked forever more. FOREVER MORE I tell you. To this day I adore him,......and Michael McDonald,......and Jamey Johnson,.....I could go on and on.(I did inventory last night at work and caught myself listening to a loop of "Kenny Loggins Alive!", and I STILL want to hear it some more!) Anyways~ my father instilled in me such great musical ears. I love so many different styles now,....from Jay-Z, Alicia Keyes, to Jamey Johnson, to Taylor Hicks, and throw in Stevie Wonder, and Diana Ross, and I can go on and on. Linda Perry, P!nk, and Chicago, and I'm done. (Not really, but that's how VARIED my musical tastes are.) Thanks dad. You really were the best. So much I have to be thankful for, so many great times and memories,.......so much that so many will never have had what we did. The best memories we made,......the best times we had. I so miss him with everything in me.
Back again,...I know I've been more sporadic than usual here. Everything is kicking my ass. Life in general, and I have it easier than most. Anyways~I have to get something off my chest that's been bothering me for years and years since I've been with my husband, and it may be stupid or not important to y'all, but it is to me,...so here goes. My husband is about 6', and weighs 275 lbs, and extremely muscular, he's lifted weights since he was 12 years old, and he's 51 right now. Well,- he's been going thru some health problems lately and found out his hemoglobin was too high, and in order to get this surgery he needs to get, his hemoglobin has to come down. So he's been going to get blood taken out,(not the proper term I know, but I don't know the proper way to say it,) and he's been going twice a week, for almost three months now. Well, let me tell you, they see my husband with the muscles, and he has tattoos, and they think 'this man can feel no pain' and they just start jabbing him with needles with no thought of if it is hurting him or anything. Yes, even big musclemen feel pain, and it's not fun or pretty. He has been coming home with these horrendous bruises from where they draw his blood. THIS IS FROM PEOPLE WHO DO THIS FOR A LIVING!!! WTF?! I want to kill them it's pissed me off so bad. He won't even let me go with him to talk with someone about it. I have been fuming and we've been arguing/discussing this since the third week he's been going. I want to rip someone's head off at this place. And this is not the first time something like this has happened. I remember when we worked at the bar together, and he was the bouncer/doorman, and some a#*h&%e sucker punched him and broke his nose,...I was in the office on break, and he very calmly came in with blood gushing down his shirt. I flipped out, almost threw-up, and ran to my mgr. The owner and mgr. ran back with me to the office and they wanted to take him to the ER right than and there but he was like no, I just need a drink, and proceeded to crack it back into place. The grossest thing I ever heard and saw. We all we grossed out, and he didn't blink an eye. He had problems breathing though from than on. It happened a second time too, and eventually we had to take him to a specialist, and we did. This ASSHOLE idiot doctor said, 'wow, your a big guy, how did this happen?' and he told him and they said they had to re-break his nose and set it right. Let me tell you, this asshole doctor was so intimidated by my husband that he said to him,'big man like you doesn't need any anesthesia, this won't hurt someone like you one bit', and proceeded to put two steel rods up his nostrils, and snapped his nose like a chiropractor does to your neck when he's trying to crack it. I was so appalled, and disgusted, I couldn't talk about it for days. No warning, nothing. I think I must've been in shock for real. Now two years ago my husband had to get a double hernia surgery in his stomach taken care of. Oh-we went to what we thought was one of the best places around, the Cleveland Clinic in Weston,FL. Let me tell you, I've never seen such a circus of medical idiots all condensed into one building. That's all that is. We made the appt., he had the surgery, and right after the anesthesiologist gave him the anesthesia and told him to count to ten, my husband was still awake and heard the surgeon say 'I want some naked ass cheeks on that table!' The anesthesiologist looked down and realized my husband was still awake, and said ' the amount of stuff I gave you would bring a horse down', and gave him some more and he finally went out for the surgery,...but gawd, does it really have to be like that? REALLY? It's pissing me off more and more every time it happens. And now with this blood thing going on,....another doctor said to him something about his size and how he must not feel pain like everyone else. REALLY? This is a licensed medical doctor we are talking about saying this to someone. I want to kill this man with my bare hands. Now my husband won't let me go with him to any medical thing he has to do, because he knows I ain't putting up with this shit, and yeah, I'm livid about it. Maybe I'm just being overprotective about him because he's my husband, and I want to baby him,-which he hates when I do,- but still. Pissing me off these people. You wonder why I hate them all.
My last post got deleted and somehow all I got out of the whole thing was the P.S. Oh well. And I was trying to post from my Ipad,....so screwy. Who knows. Working lots still. Last night my SIL came over and we had a nice snack-dinner of bagels, locks, and Canadian turkey bacon, fresh tomatoes and onions, and it was great. I love doing stuff like that for dinner. Something different. Watched the hockey playoffs,...which we've been doing since it started. I love hockey playoff time. The best. Anyways~still no solid offers on our beach condo. None. Very sad. I have to realize that it's going to take some time before we actually move,-for real,- and quit whining about it all the time. Yes,-we know I want to move, yes,-I know it's going to be awhile, so just shut it, and I'm going to. The weather here has been rainy and very windy for days now. Not conducive to taking the kittehs out for their walks. Poor little Munk,...tried taking her two nights ago, but once she felt the rain,and saw the wind, she ran right back in with Sugar right behind her! So cute. What else? Not selling anything on EBay right now and for awhile. I tried selling this Louis Vuitton denim satchel I have, and people are just so annoying about it. I priced it about $50 lower than the others for a starting bid, and I had all sorts of people 'watching' it, and no bids. This went on for about 5 times,....I kept relisting it, and relisting it. This last time I received about 6 different messages thru EBay asking if I would sell the bag for LESS money than I listed it for! Now how does that make sense to you? How? I relisted it again after numerous people asked me to, and nothing again,...so I'm going to give up for awhile. I'll relist it when I'm good and ready to deal with idiots asking stupid questions. Wow. Just like at work. You just can't get away from it, can you? I'm still taking care of my ducks at work, and all sorts of people giving me grief about it. BITE ME people.BITE ME is all I can say. For Mother's Day I'm taking off four days from work, and two of 'em I'm spending at my mom's, can't wait. She has already moved into her new place, and went on a little vacation to New York to see some friends for a week. She's even planning a cruise in September to go to New England and then up thru Canada. How I would LOVE that. My husband keeps telling me to go with her, but I'm not sure, she has it all planned and bought and paid for with her friend Marjorie, and I don't want to barge in. I'll talk with her and feel her out when we go up there. So~nothing else exciting going on here. I guess I'll sign off now. How boring am I?