Sunday, June 3, 2012

Rambling and ranting

Nice Sunday at home. I love being home and just doing whatever. I'm making homemade Banana Bread,(from scratch,) and it's in the oven as we speak,(blog.) Things are still so up and down in our lives right now. I think my husband and I are still trying to pull each other out of our legal induced depressions,(after four years.) That damn clusterf*%# was the nightmare of our lives, and we are still trying to get back to normal. Scary. I don't think we will ever be back to where we were at mentally and emotionally. I KNOW it has changed me and not for the better I might add. I'm meaner to people now. I mean, believe me I'm not an jerk for no reason, but if someone does wrong, I've been known to start a fight in public and be outspoken. I mean my mom raised a lady, I don't cuss, (unless I'm mad,) and I don't fight physically,(altho I'm not adverse to the idea, and have once when I was sucker punched by my husband's ex-wife's twin sister,) but I don't take any crap from anyone,(and yes she got a black eye, and a swollen lip,-thank you very much.) I used to be all nonchalant, happy-go-lucky-nothing-ever-bothered-me,- but now? Not so. Everyone in my family has noticed it, and my SIL, and my co-workers, etc., etc.,-you get it. But I just don't know how to not be like that now. And god forbid someone tries to do something to an animal,.....I WILL fight, or hunt them down, and they will regret the day they ever saw me. I HATE people now to the very core, and I don't know what to do about it. I mean, believe me,...I'm very congenial when I'm at the grocery store, running errands,....but get on my bad side and I WON'T let it go. Okay,-no more ranting. Done. Anyways~ nothing else going on our lives. Never heard back from that production company, and no one has made offers on our condo. So we will keep waiting and hoping. We are still trying to get started with the house we are living in, to get it up and ready to sell,...but we are so overwhelmed in our depression(s) that we can't seem to start or even make any decisions where to start. It's not like we have to redo the entire house. Just both bathrooms, and our screened in back patio. The rest of  house is great. We did the front landscaping with clusters of beautiful palm trees,....the house has been painted, new roof,....the kitchen is all red cherry wood cabinets, granite counter tops, and stainless steel appliances, new wood floor thru out the entire house,(except the bathrooms obviously.) I mean we are so close, that next step. So close. You know when you have to do something, and even tho its for the best, and will certainly make things better, you still drag your feet? Well,-that's what we are doing. It's just the literal moving and packing and getting to Canada is what we dread. We just want to blink and be there. Yeah,....don't I wish.

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