So work has been a nightmare, and I'm actively looking for another job. Anything really. I'd prefer an office/receptionist job,...but it has to have benefits,...pay I don't care about, but benefits,-YES,-it HAS to have. That damn job will be the death of me. On to better things,....my hubby is doing great after his cancer surgery,......totally cancer-free, which is the main thing. He has to still go give blood every other week, but other than that,...all good. Thank god. Been having trouble here in kitteh-land. Our neighborhood tomcat keeps trying to attack Munky and one night he got a hold of her and it was quite ugly. She was so traumatized, she didn't want to go outside for like a week. Finally I started taking her out again, but armed with a water gun, and sure enough,-twice I caught him sneaking up on her,(us.) Made me so mad, and poor Munky just ran to get in the house. So we haven't been going on our daily walks around the yard like usual. Poor thing. I went and bought her some new toys,....and I bought her a new bed,...but she's still bored. Right now I'm getting ready to try to take her out,.....only if she wants to tho. I NEVER force her. I would never do that. Only if she wants to,...so,......and getting ready to watch 'Breaking Bad' tonight. I CANNOT wait. And no news on our condo for sale. Sucks. Oh well, .....there's always eBay.
Went to my mom's place on Tuesday and coming home,(actually driving home,) I had a full blown panic attack. Thank god my husband understands. We pulled over, and he drove the rest of the way home. I haven't had that happen in a while. Then I was supposed to go out to lunch to meet my bestest friend ever from Coconut Grove, and I cancelled because I just feel to panic-y. I can't drive there, I can't even picture walking around the mall even,...something I love, and I can't even think about doing it. (My husband is mad at me now for not trying to go. He even offered to drive me there and pick me up, and I still didn't wanna go.) I just don't know what is wrong with me. I feel horrible. My vacation week off from work and it hasn't been all that fun. Not like I thought it would. I feel like everything is closing in on me. I have a doctor's appt. on Monday, and I'll have to tell her all about my week. Wonderful. And it's a new doctor,...I have phobia's about that too. Takes me forever to get used to a new doctor, not to mention it HAS TO BE a woman. NO MEN whatsoever. EVER. (Yes I know I sound crazy.) I love being home right now and doing absolutely nothing,....I'm going to cook a nice dinner tonight,...and look forward to watching "Breaking Bad" Sunday night. I'm holding on for that. (Scary how something so little can keep you going.) How pathetic am I right now? You don't have to answer that!!!
Well tomorrow is my 48th birthday, and I swear I feel like I'm 78. I just can't get a grip. I swore I'd never be this person, and here I am: graying, overweight, and hating the world. I have yesterday til next Sunday off to do as I please with my hubby, and we'll see if we get anything done. (I doubt it tho.) No work, and plans only to visit my mom overnight tomorrow. (Which always leaves me feeling guilty, and horribly worried about leaving Munky.) I wish she was one of those kitties that loves traveling. Funny too,....I've been telling my husband that lately I've been feeling more and more 'mommy-ish', and that's why I want a little dog to hold and baby and take with me everywhere. I want one like a woman wants a baby. I cried the other day at work when a woman who worked at a vet's office came in holding this sweet, lil, pup about three months old,....and the story just broke my heart,....someone had dropped the puppy off at the vet's telling them that they had chased away three kids who were dragging this sweet baby down the street tied with a rope. Makes me sick. I would be in prison right this moment if I had found those kids doing that. I swear to you,...I can't stand the thought of it,...and if you saw this sweet, calm little pup who got in my arms, and just melted into me,...hugged me even,...I cried having to give her back. I really did, I'm talking tears streaming down my face. At least this woman said she was taking him home and keeping him. He was a sweet, beautiful boy that I'm having a hard time letting go of in my head even. I feel like I was abandoning him too by not taking him home with me. Too much for me to handle. Just gets me angrier by the second. Really. Anyways~ I got my Givenchy bag from EBay, and I LOVE it,...it's gorgeous. Better even than the picture. It's sic. I'm eyeing a pair of Robert Clergerie boots now, only up to $34 and barely worn! I'll see if I get 'em. Who knows, but deals are there to be had,-trust me.I think I buy stuff to make me feel better about the stuff that bothers me and that I feel like I can't change. Who knows. Well,...I'm going to see how this day progresses,...we have the whole week to do nothing or get some stuff done around here,...we'll see how that works out. (I vote for nothing, but that doesn't get me a step closer to moving to Canada, so not the right answer.) I'll keep ya posted.