Is this really my life now?

Well I got my Mulberry bag and WHAT A GREAT DEAL I GOT. That's all I have to say about EBay. I mean, I've gotten every really popular, high-end handbag I've ever wanted on Ebay, and paid a fraction of the cost, - YOU JUST CAN'T BEAT THAT. You can't. I've gotten (ALL AUTHENTIC,)a Fendi Spy Bag, numerous beautiful Chanel bags, numerous Louis Vuitton bags, a Chloe Paraty, a Prada two-tone, bow bag,( Tessuto Fiocca leather clutch), a YSL Mombasa,a Gucci Pelham and Boston bag, a Michael Kors Chain bag and Tonne bag, and now a Mulberry Bayswater Oak. I can't tell you if you just take your time, and do some research, and stay patient, you will eventually find what you want on EBay, AND for at least HALF the price. I know, because I've done it, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE PATIENT. Usually I'm NOT. BUT,....I LOVE to shop, and EBay is pure heaven to me, I mean being able to shop and find unbelievable deals 24/7,-it's like crack to a junkie. Anyways~ I save my money, put it in place, and sit and wait, like a marksman,....look for that good deal, and swoop in and go for it. There are a few deals I lost that still haunt me, (especially a Hugo Boss bag that kills me to this day,...) but there is nothing I can do about it, and hopefully,....eventually I'll find another just like it. I HOPE. Let me tell you, I should be a spokesperson for EBay. I can't say enough good about them. I've bought AND sold, and so far have had good experiences, but not without a little effort. Oh well, I'll take it for those deals. Oh definitely. SOOOOOOO ~ the bag alone made my week. I even got caught in a horrible thunderstorm here, and I got soaked to the bone, and my bag,......well let's just say not a drop touched it!!!! What else? Monday I'm seeing my bestest friend for lunch, and some shopping at Ikea. How fun is that? She was the closest friend I ever had, and we thought so much alike it scared us. She's the one, we could be shopping, and looking around, and both pick up the same item, and not even realize it. SO MANY times, and we loved the same wine,(which oddly enough I am NOW allergic to,)and we both loved weight-lifting, and working-out, and everyone knew us as the gym girls,....I LOVED it, she was and still is gorgeous, and me,.....well you know what I'm like now,.....I have NO ONE to inspire me anymore. No one. I can't get myself together,...I can't,....and it's slowly killing me. I feel like I'm watching my life in slow motion, and watching it die slowly,....and I don't care,....why?! Why? I don't understand myself. I don't. I can't save all the animals,....I can't do what I want,....I can't or don't have the energy for it all, I don't. And it's killing me, or at least that's how I feel. Will this ever go away?