Is this really my life now?

Well I got my Mulberry bag and WHAT A GREAT DEAL I GOT. That's all I have to say about EBay. I mean, I've gotten every really popular, high-end handbag I've ever wanted on Ebay, and paid a fraction of the cost, - YOU JUST CAN'T BEAT THAT. You can't. I've gotten (ALL AUTHENTIC,)a Fendi Spy Bag, numerous beautiful Chanel bags, numerous Louis Vuitton bags, a Chloe Paraty, a Prada two-tone, bow bag,( Tessuto Fiocca leather clutch), a YSL Mombasa,a Gucci Pelham and Boston bag, a Michael Kors Chain bag and Tonne bag, and now a Mulberry Bayswater Oak. I can't tell you if you just take your time, and do some research, and stay patient, you will eventually find what you want on EBay, AND for at least HALF the price. I know, because I've done it, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE PATIENT. Usually I'm NOT. BUT,....I LOVE to shop, and EBay is pure heaven to me, I mean being able to shop and find unbelievable deals 24/7,-it's like crack to a junkie. Anyways~ I save my money, put it in place, and sit and wait, like a marksman,....look for that good deal, and swoop in and go for it. There are a few deals I lost that still haunt me, (especially a Hugo Boss bag that kills me to this day,...) but there is nothing I can do about it, and hopefully,....eventually I'll find another just like it. I HOPE. Let me tell you, I should be a spokesperson for EBay. I can't say enough good about them. I've bought AND sold, and so far have had good experiences, but not without a little effort. Oh well, I'll take it for those deals. Oh definitely. SOOOOOOO ~ the bag alone made my week. I even got caught in a horrible thunderstorm here, and I got soaked to the bone, and my bag,......well let's just say not a drop touched it!!!! What else? Monday I'm seeing my bestest friend for lunch, and some shopping at Ikea. How fun is that? She was the closest friend I ever had, and we thought so much alike it scared us. She's the one, we could be shopping, and looking around, and both pick up the same item, and not even realize it. SO MANY times, and we loved the same wine,(which oddly enough I am NOW allergic to,)and we both loved weight-lifting, and working-out, and everyone knew us as the gym girls,....I LOVED it, she was and still is gorgeous, and me,.....well you know what I'm like now,.....I have NO ONE to inspire me anymore. No one. I can't get myself together,...I can't,....and it's slowly killing me. I feel like I'm watching my life in slow motion, and watching it die slowly,....and I don't care,....why?! Why? I don't understand myself. I don't. I can't save all the animals,....I can't do what I want,....I can't or don't have the energy for it all, I don't. And it's killing me, or at least that's how I feel. Will this ever go away?

In a split second

I'm just going to take a few minutes and tell you some of the things I love right now, and some of the things I REALLY dislike (-ok, hate,) right now,because I saw my life flash in front of my eyes today,....I LOVE: watching "Friends" for as long as humanly possible, right along with "The Nanny",...both shows make me laugh, and make me forget about anything bad that's bothering me,....when my kittehs get along, and play together, cuddle me, purr, want my attention, or anything along those lines,....when my husband laughs, like really laughs,belly-laughs,it's wonderful to hear,.....being in bed with my hubby and kittehs on a rainy day,....makes me feel like a family,.....winning an auction and getting a really good deal on eBay,....baking,....Thanksgiving dinner with family and friends,.....having a full tank of gas,....making homemade mashed potatoes,....a haircut that turned out good,....clean sheets,....new shoes or outfits, or both,...going to midnite Mass on X-mas,...sleeping/napping,......remembering the great times with my father when I was young,...and realizing how lucky I was to have a dad like him in my life,....good music,....found money/jewelry,(something that was lost,)......
OK,...now things I DISLIKE: foul and crude language,...loud people,....phones,....ANY phones,...at work, cellphones, home phones,...ALL phones,.....oblivious drivers,.....obnoxious people,...loud music,....car stereos,.....screaming kids,....unsupervised kids,.....entitled kids or teenagers,....parents who don't have a clue,....paid programming,...when the camera batteries go dead,....when someone doesn't leave feedback on eBay,....unpainted toenails,....any kinda stitches,-seeing them, having someone show me, or even talking about them has, and WILL make me toss my cookies,....bruises or black and blue marks,....getting up early,....hospitals,....chained-up animals, or caged animals,....humidity,...........unsafe weather,......someone telling a secret they shouldn't be telling,........

Yup,~ if you knew what I went thru today, you'd be like I am right now too. I thought I was going to jail forever,...years,....and this stupid person made a mistake,....and laughed it off like it was nothing,....O.M.G. I wanted to scream,....I drove home shaking so bad I could barely pry my hands off the steering wheel of my car. I came home and unloaded on my husband who immediately calmed me down, waited til I went to work and called our lawyer. Yes,-I will be getting off probation VERY SOON. You have no idea.

Live in the moment

So it's my usual Sunday or whatever-night-off-the-next-two-days, and I've been on eBay half the night, played with Munky the other half, and watched 'The Nanny', the other half! I did buy a gorgeous, vintage, turquoise, and horn, necklace that will look awesome with just about anything from a white button-up or tshirt, to a faded beat-up denim shirt. I'm still waiting on my Mulberry bag, and I got a gorgeous sterling silver mid-century modern cross to hang above our door. (Our front door has a cross that was my great-grandmother's that came from Italy with her.) I have it, I cherish it, and I will keep it with me always. Every place I've ever lived, it hung over the front door. The only other people I would ever give it to would be my brother S. or my husband,(which when we split-up, I told him he could keep it. He KNOWS how much that cross means to me. He was impressed with me giving-ness. I love him that much,-yes, far more than myself.) Anyhow~got up early today,(for me) and watched the Boston Stanley Cup parade. I almost cried I was so happy and emotional. 39 YEARS! Over a million people lined the streets of Boston for over 24 hrs. they said. That's alotta people. Went to work, and was still on a 'high' from the parade. Work was busy, and went by pretty uneventful.(Thank goodness.) My husband is out at the casino, and I bought a bottle of vodka, some gourmet cream soda, and a Father's Day card from the kittehs. (He'll laugh,....it'll make him smile. They ARE our kids, so why not?) Nothing else really. I have probation on Tues. morning that I've already been worrying about since last week. My husband called our lawyer, and hopefully he is already trying to get me off it. (It's been 10 months now, for nothing.) So I'll hopefully find out some good news next week. I hope it's the last time I have to go. It's very stressful, and I don't belong there. At. All. Trust me. I've been reading this other blog lately that has totally put my life in perspective. This lady had her husband of over 4o years and one of her goggies(doggies) pass away a week apart.(Life's free treats.) I think I woulda killed myself. I don't know,......so sad. I hate to think of that poor woman alone, and grieving, and there is absolutely nothing anyone can do or say to make it all better. I cried my eyes out a little while ago reading it. Makes me feel very lucky, and I'm honestly trying to enjoy every moment I can with little Munky, Sugar, my husband, and live in the moment. I watch Munky, and wonder what the hell I will do without her one day. She is the little light of my life, next to Sugar and my hubby. If you saw how many pictures of her I have, you'd think I was insane. She IS my child. Oh well,....to each his own, and my thoughts are with that woman wherever she is. I can't stop thinking of her, and hoping she will make it thru okay.

Okay I'm HAPPY

I'm HAPPY right now, and that's it. So HAPPY.

Little bit of everything

Watched the game last night and I was ecstatic! I loved watching Tim Thomas play and win. (Almost as good as when I used to LOVE watching Patrick Roy play,-no one in sports has caught my eye until now.) No one is exciting to watch, no one has personality, no one has what it takes to stand out and take a chance, like Patrick Roy did,.....until now. Tim Thomas is the epitome of class, and backs it up. He's intelligent when he speaks, and always has something to add to an interview, and on the ice he's not afraid to stand his ground, AND protect it.(A la the linebacker goalie. LOVE it.) THAT'S what sets him apart, and I like that. I used to have a favorite in every sport that was like that,....but they are all gone, and either don't play,-retired,...or passed away. Sad. I used to love watching Ken Caminiti play when he was with the San Diego Padres, he was rough and tumble, you loved watching him take a swing, and that guy took pride in being in-shape,....he could've done so much more if he just would've stayed away from drugs. I'll never forget the day I found out he passed away, I cried all night. I missed watching him play,....I mean genuinely missed seeing him play baseball. All the damn hoopla after he passed just made me ill. Who cares,...I just wanted to watch someone play great, and love it like he did. I got to see Howie Long when he played for the Raiders, and thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread, until he retired,....I mean I know he's a family man and all, but he's so boring now. He's GREAT to look at, but I miss the wildman he was when he played. Then there was my all-time favorite; Patrick Roy. Intimidating, backed-up, wildman on the ice, one of the only goalies that would fight, and he played phenomenally,...he could back up everything, 4 Stanley Cups with two different teams, and cocky as all hell,...I adored him. Even off the ice, he was in the middle of things. (His now ex-wife worked in a strip club when he met her, I've heard.) He was married and faithful, (which I heard could not be said for her,) and they have 3 gorgeous children,....but were divorced after almost 20 years of marriage I believe. He is always in some kinda controversy with hockey still,...I love it and still adore him to no end. To. This. Day. (Can't wait til we move to Canada.) Anyhow~now I have Tim Thomas to watch, and lovin' him so far. I love when they can be all things at once; a loving family man, a great athelete,intelligent, and a wildman,....that's the best to me. (My husband thinks I'm strange and sic that I like that,....little does he know I just described him to a "T".) Funny how that works, eh?

Nothing at all

Okay-so I'm off for the next two days,....and the Heat just lost,(which makes me happy,-I HATE basketball,) and I got my bag on the way. I'm a happy camper right now. I also sold more stuff on eBay, and that makes me happy too. The next two days I will list different stuff instead of RELISTING things. I gotta have new, fresh stuff to keep people coming back,......right? Well,~ I have to send out some $$$ to for my PRBTN this week, and NOT happy 'bout it either. And, I have to buy Munky a traveling thingy so I can go get her nails cut tomorrow. Yea, my husband thinks I don't love her becuz I don't cut her nails twice a month. (Do you know what it's like to try to cut a cat's nails when they don't like it, all on your own??!!!) It's a nightmare, and a trip to the ER. I can't do it alone, and my husband refuses to help me. So,-I have to have someone do them for me,(her,) us. Anywho~ gotta check on Munky out on our front porch, and see what I can dig thru in my boxes and boxes of stuff to list on EBay,....so I will see ya. This is short and sweet. (Is it?) I'll keep ya posted, and carefree right now. Go Bruins tomorrow night. Yeaaa baay-beeee!!!(Tim Thomas-will put on a show I hope and win.) C'mon cutie-pie.

Little bit of this

Just a quick post before I have to go into work,(blah.) Watching the Casey Anthony trial, and keep going back and forth as to thinking she did it or not. I think she didn't do it. She was set up maybe? I don't know. I will NEVER in my life understand how people can kill a child, ANY child. Never. (And don't get me started about animals. I'd like to hunt down and torture a few people after reading some horrid things in the newspaper down here.) SOOOOOO~ been on eBay, and selling some things. It's slowed down ALOT, but selling a couple of things a week, at least it's something. Ummm,...found a Mulberry Baywater bag on there for a really good deal.(I had to get it.) I mean it was like 80% off the price, and AUTHENTIC. I'll let you know. I'm eyeing a pair of Jeffrey Campbell shoes too. I'll show my purchases when I get them. I'm off to get ready for work. I have a job interview next week with Macys. (Big whoop most of you say,) but I rather work for them than a liquor company I have no attachments or go-getting-ness for. I mean in Macys, at least I'll be around clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. that I love to sell,....makes sense? I dunno', I just know I need a change,-that's all. And Lord, PLEASE let the Bruins win tonight. PLEASE. I'm off to the factory. See ya.

Than what?

So the Boston Bruins won again tonight!!! Yay us, and hottie, and AWESOME goalie Tim Thomas. Yay. Anyways,-didn't go into work today,....long couple o' days,-that's all I gotta say. Took Munky for a walk after Munky and Sugar took a long nap together in our bed,...and I did some cardio, and my husband went to the gym,.....going to work tomorrow,and I'm already off on Friday, and I work Sat., Sun., and Mon. LONGGGG weekend. That's okay,...after this Sunday, I'm off for a month of Sundays. That sounds so nice. At least I'm promised that. (I better be.) Anywho~ I haven't bought anything in the last few days, but I've sure thought about it. I just put a bid on a Dooney bag on Ebay, and I donated a little bit to the Panther Conservation Center in Wellington, FL. I had to. I got on the website and saw all on there and wished it was me that did all that. (My husband thinks I need to concentrate on domestic kittehs instead on exotic cats,)....I guess thats what needs help the most. I mean, the No-Kill Revolution is trying. I just need someone to tell me to do this or that to help,....I need EASY instructions, and that's all. Am I wrong? I really do wanna help,....I do. I just need something easy to strive for. And that is it. NO-KILL. My eBay selling has come to a fast halt. Sold about ten things for over $500, and now NOTHING. Nothing. What's up with that? What am I doing wrong all of a sudden? I'm just going to keep putting listings up and see what happens and not give up. Nope. I've stopped seeing the dr. but I have to go back. I have to. I was just starting to make some headway, and decisions, and answers. Help. It's all helping. So yay, I gotta go back,(not like it's a hardship. They even have animal therapy, which YOU KNOW APPEALS to me.) In two weeks. (I have some bills.)Other than that, I'm okay. I drank again tonight. How long does it have to be before I say that I drink? I mean, I never drank like this except for the two years my husband and I split up. Now, we are just going thru this 'bad time'. I asked my husband what big changes will happen when I finally get off probation and he had no answer for me. I mean, we live like paupers, and not happy with our lives at all. I mean he plays poker which he loves, I have the kittehs, and eBay which I love, and we have each other, and have fun together alot, but overall, we are not happy in our life right now. (Legal situation.) So,really,.....if we die tomorrow, than what? Than what?Do we move? Do things really change at all or will it be YEARS? I just need something to strive toward,....anything. My babys help, but I wanna learn more about them. More. Do I go back to school? Do I try for another business to own ourselves? What's next? Than what? I just don't know what to do? I don't. I'm just letting days and days go by,....our lives are just passing us by.

All my mistakes, with 2 drinks

Okay,.....so I don't drink, and I've had a brandy alexander with chocolate ice cream that my mom used to make for us on X-mas Eve when we were kids, and I'm buzzed beyond belief. I love it. I feel invincible. I understand when people drink,.........and why. When it hits you good, it hits you GOOD. When it doesn't, it DOESN'T. I saw a cop on the way to Mickey D's, and I yelled out the window that the doughnut shop was the other way! My husband WAS NOT HAPPY. I thought it was hysterical after I stopped being mad. I hate them. I got on eBay after 1 and a half B.A.s, and I wanna buy everything! I understand why Jen Lancaster buys 'stuff' online when she's drinking. Really. I want it all. Necklaces from J.Crew,....shoes by Jeffrey Campbell, (I SO LOVE HIM,)......clothing by the wee Olsen twins, by Elizabeth and James, or The Row, (which is ONLY made in SMALL sizes,) and Loree Rodkin knuckle rings,......I want it all. I'm so buzzed. I watched the Boston Bruins, and my cutie-pie,-Tim Thomas, win BIG tonight,.....I'm a happy camper. Trust me. All I need is to buy something. Trust me.(if you could see all my mistakes you'd laugh.) I'm positive I'll be asleep in half an hour. Go Bruins!!! Go Tim Thomas!!! HE IS SO ADORABLE. I think in another life I was a hockey goalie. I LOVE them. See ya. Off to sleep by my husband's suggestion!!! Seeya Q!!!

Short and sweet

Ya know, every day you live, and hopefully you find something that makes you smile a little. My husband, and kittehs do that for me. Then you hear or read about someone who has had a great loss in their life, and makes you thankful for all that you have every single second. And I am. Believe me. I don't take things for granted, but I do punish myself for everything that has gone wrong in our lives. I take it out on myself. (That much my doctor has made me realize.) She says that I can't forgive myself for this whole legal fiasco. I think she might be right. I have to start taking better care of myself, and exercising again. I have to. I have to find a way. Maybe I'll go thru our photo albums and look at pictures of me when I was really in shape. (I'll probably just get depressed instead of motivated.) Who knows. I just know that I am lucky in so many ways,...and every day passes by like nothing. Like water running thru my hands. Thats it really. I'm gonna finish watching 'The Nanny', and go to bed. Munky will be cuddling right by my side, and THAT does make me very happy and content. 'Night.