Thursday, July 21, 2011

I'm just blah

Another day, another thunderstorm. Yep. Don't have to go into work til almost 5pm today, so I'm home watching movies with my hubby, and Munky sleeping in bed already. (My lil cutie. How I love her.) I have Sunday and Monday off next week, and I plan on doing a few things,..."plan" is the operative word there. I'd like to get some stuff on eBay again, and do some organizing around the house, and clip Munky's nails, and maybe go somewhere alone, so I know I can. That list is enough to last me for the next two months the way I am. THAT'S how hard things are for me to do. Not to mention the important stuff, like paying the few bills we do have, and grocery shopping, making dinner, etc. Everything is hard right now. I NEED to get back to lifting weights again. It's been long enough now where I look like I never stepped in a gym in my life. 27 yrs. of weight-lifting, and 3yrs. off, and look what I've turned into. A blob. Every now and then I get a comment from someone at work about how my legs are muscular,(still?,) etc., but it's not enough for me. I have to get back in there, I HAVE to. Not just for the physical part, but for my emotional well-being too. That's really true too. I know firsthand. Never have I been this depressed in my life, with feeling like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Never. I've been talking to my sister about it. She's battled severe depression for years, and knows about phobias, we have had very similar things, so it's easy to talk to her about it,(thank god.) I made an appt. with the psychiatrist for next week. Barring all things at work going smoothly and I don't get called in unexpectedly, I will be going. It will help. (Wow, - it's so dark here right now it looks like night-time, and the thunder is making the ground/ house shake. Jeez. Munky is happy in bed,-we usually make a tent for her,-but she seems okay, so I'll leave her.) Anywho~ those are my plans this week. I'll keep ya up to date to see how much I actually get done! Meh.

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