Is this really my life now?

Well I got my Mulberry bag and WHAT A GREAT DEAL I GOT. That's all I have to say about EBay. I mean, I've gotten every really popular, high-end handbag I've ever wanted on Ebay, and paid a fraction of the cost, - YOU JUST CAN'T BEAT THAT. You can't. I've gotten (ALL AUTHENTIC,)a Fendi Spy Bag, numerous beautiful Chanel bags, numerous Louis Vuitton bags, a Chloe Paraty, a Prada two-tone, bow bag,( Tessuto Fiocca leather clutch), a YSL Mombasa,a Gucci Pelham and Boston bag, a Michael Kors Chain bag and Tonne bag, and now a Mulberry Bayswater Oak. I can't tell you if you just take your time, and do some research, and stay patient, you will eventually find what you want on EBay, AND for at least HALF the price. I know, because I've done it, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE PATIENT. Usually I'm NOT. BUT,....I LOVE to shop, and EBay is pure heaven to me, I mean being able to shop and find unbelievable deals 24/7,-it's like crack to a junkie. Anyways~ I save my money, put it in place, and sit and wait, like a marksman,....look for that good deal, and swoop in and go for it. There are a few deals I lost that still haunt me, (especially a Hugo Boss bag that kills me to this day,...) but there is nothing I can do about it, and hopefully,....eventually I'll find another just like it. I HOPE. Let me tell you, I should be a spokesperson for EBay. I can't say enough good about them. I've bought AND sold, and so far have had good experiences, but not without a little effort. Oh well, I'll take it for those deals. Oh definitely. SOOOOOOO ~ the bag alone made my week. I even got caught in a horrible thunderstorm here, and I got soaked to the bone, and my bag,......well let's just say not a drop touched it!!!! What else? Monday I'm seeing my bestest friend for lunch, and some shopping at Ikea. How fun is that? She was the closest friend I ever had, and we thought so much alike it scared us. She's the one, we could be shopping, and looking around, and both pick up the same item, and not even realize it. SO MANY times, and we loved the same wine,(which oddly enough I am NOW allergic to,)and we both loved weight-lifting, and working-out, and everyone knew us as the gym girls,....I LOVED it, she was and still is gorgeous, and me,.....well you know what I'm like now,.....I have NO ONE to inspire me anymore. No one. I can't get myself together,...I can't,....and it's slowly killing me. I feel like I'm watching my life in slow motion, and watching it die slowly,....and I don't care,....why?! Why? I don't understand myself. I don't. I can't save all the animals,....I can't do what I want,....I can't or don't have the energy for it all, I don't. And it's killing me, or at least that's how I feel. Will this ever go away?

In a split second

I'm just going to take a few minutes and tell you some of the things I love right now, and some of the things I REALLY dislike (-ok, hate,) right now,because I saw my life flash in front of my eyes today,....I LOVE: watching "Friends" for as long as humanly possible, right along with "The Nanny",...both shows make me laugh, and make me forget about anything bad that's bothering me,....when my kittehs get along, and play together, cuddle me, purr, want my attention, or anything along those lines,....when my husband laughs, like really laughs,belly-laughs,it's wonderful to hear,.....being in bed with my hubby and kittehs on a rainy day,....makes me feel like a family,.....winning an auction and getting a really good deal on eBay,....baking,....Thanksgiving dinner with family and friends,.....having a full tank of gas,....making homemade mashed potatoes,....a haircut that turned out good,....clean sheets,....new shoes or outfits, or both,...going to midnite Mass on X-mas,...sleeping/napping,......remembering the great times with my father when I was young,...and realizing how lucky I was to have a dad like him in my life,....good music,....found money/jewelry,(something that was lost,)......
OK,...now things I DISLIKE: foul and crude language,...loud people,....phones,....ANY phones,...at work, cellphones, home phones,...ALL phones,.....oblivious drivers,.....obnoxious people,...loud music,....car stereos,.....screaming kids,....unsupervised kids,.....entitled kids or teenagers,....parents who don't have a clue,....paid programming,...when the camera batteries go dead,....when someone doesn't leave feedback on eBay,....unpainted toenails,....any kinda stitches,-seeing them, having someone show me, or even talking about them has, and WILL make me toss my cookies,....bruises or black and blue marks,....getting up early,....hospitals,....chained-up animals, or caged animals,....humidity,...........unsafe weather,......someone telling a secret they shouldn't be telling,........

Yup,~ if you knew what I went thru today, you'd be like I am right now too. I thought I was going to jail forever,...years,....and this stupid person made a mistake,....and laughed it off like it was nothing,....O.M.G. I wanted to scream,....I drove home shaking so bad I could barely pry my hands off the steering wheel of my car. I came home and unloaded on my husband who immediately calmed me down, waited til I went to work and called our lawyer. Yes,-I will be getting off probation VERY SOON. You have no idea.

Live in the moment

So it's my usual Sunday or whatever-night-off-the-next-two-days, and I've been on eBay half the night, played with Munky the other half, and watched 'The Nanny', the other half! I did buy a gorgeous, vintage, turquoise, and horn, necklace that will look awesome with just about anything from a white button-up or tshirt, to a faded beat-up denim shirt. I'm still waiting on my Mulberry bag, and I got a gorgeous sterling silver mid-century modern cross to hang above our door. (Our front door has a cross that was my great-grandmother's that came from Italy with her.) I have it, I cherish it, and I will keep it with me always. Every place I've ever lived, it hung over the front door. The only other people I would ever give it to would be my brother S. or my husband,(which when we split-up, I told him he could keep it. He KNOWS how much that cross means to me. He was impressed with me giving-ness. I love him that much,-yes, far more than myself.) Anyhow~got up early today,(for me) and watched the Boston Stanley Cup parade. I almost cried I was so happy and emotional. 39 YEARS! Over a million people lined the streets of Boston for over 24 hrs. they said. That's alotta people. Went to work, and was still on a 'high' from the parade. Work was busy, and went by pretty uneventful.(Thank goodness.) My husband is out at the casino, and I bought a bottle of vodka, some gourmet cream soda, and a Father's Day card from the kittehs. (He'll laugh,....it'll make him smile. They ARE our kids, so why not?) Nothing else really. I have probation on Tues. morning that I've already been worrying about since last week. My husband called our lawyer, and hopefully he is already trying to get me off it. (It's been 10 months now, for nothing.) So I'll hopefully find out some good news next week. I hope it's the last time I have to go. It's very stressful, and I don't belong there. At. All. Trust me. I've been reading this other blog lately that has totally put my life in perspective. This lady had her husband of over 4o years and one of her goggies(doggies) pass away a week apart.(Life's free treats.) I think I woulda killed myself. I don't know,......so sad. I hate to think of that poor woman alone, and grieving, and there is absolutely nothing anyone can do or say to make it all better. I cried my eyes out a little while ago reading it. Makes me feel very lucky, and I'm honestly trying to enjoy every moment I can with little Munky, Sugar, my husband, and live in the moment. I watch Munky, and wonder what the hell I will do without her one day. She is the little light of my life, next to Sugar and my hubby. If you saw how many pictures of her I have, you'd think I was insane. She IS my child. Oh well,....to each his own, and my thoughts are with that woman wherever she is. I can't stop thinking of her, and hoping she will make it thru okay.