Job Rantings and eBay-ing

Soooo,....I just put some new stuff on eBay, and it's been stormy and rainy so I can't take Munky out for a walk,my hubby just went to lie down for awhile,....so I'm stuck in watching "Friends", and waiting til I have to go to bed being that I have to open tomorrow morning. A lot of coffee will be had. (If I were smart I'd still be putting things up on eBay to sell, but three is more than enough for me right now.) Anyways~I'm still looking all over for another job,....this applying, and waiting nonsense is like torture. You think you have a chance and when you turn your back and walk away, they probably all laugh, roll their eyes, say "yeah, right", and throw your application/resume in the garbage!!! This sucks. I hate it. I don't wanna work in the mall because well of course they are hiring left and right and come the holidays, I'll be working worse hours than I am right now at this stinky-ass job. It's all just making me crazy. All I want is a nice office job, with nice office hours, and weekends, and holidays off,....benefits, and crappy pay. Am I asking for too much? I can  do five things at once and not break a sweat, I can deal with public relations without batting an eye, I have no ego when it comes to getting things done, and I think my resume proves that, what with almost 20 years of bartending in a 5AM bar, part owner of a gym, and volunteering numerous times at No-Kill animal shelters, I've done it all. I mean really? What the hell do these jobs want from me!!! My right arm? My first born? My husbands bank account? I mean really,...WHAT? WHAT?! I have to keep getting on Indeed, Careerbuilders, and the many others I can't remember right now. I even learned how to write out my resume,....I mean really? How hard is that? Will anyone even look at me seriously for a job? Ever? AGAIN-wanna buy anything from me on eBay?