A Total Mess of Nothin

Went to my mom's place on Tuesday and coming home,(actually driving home,) I had a full blown panic attack. Thank god my husband understands. We pulled over, and he drove the rest of the way home. I haven't had that happen in a while. Then I was supposed to go out to lunch to meet my bestest friend ever from Coconut Grove, and I cancelled because I just feel to panic-y. I can't drive there, I can't even picture walking around the mall even,...something I love, and I can't even think about doing it. (My husband is mad at me now for not trying to go. He even offered to drive me there and pick me up, and I still didn't wanna go.) I just don't know what is wrong with me. I feel horrible. My vacation week off from work and it hasn't been all that fun. Not like I thought it would. I feel like everything is closing in on me. I have a doctor's appt. on Monday, and I'll have to tell her all about my week. Wonderful. And it's a new doctor,...I have phobia's about that too. Takes me forever to get used to a new doctor, not to mention it HAS TO BE a woman. NO MEN whatsoever. EVER. (Yes I know I sound crazy.) I love being home right now and doing absolutely nothing,....I'm going to cook a nice dinner tonight,...and look forward to watching "Breaking Bad" Sunday night. I'm holding on for that. (Scary how something so little can keep you going.) How pathetic am I right now? You don't have to answer that!!!