Push me pull me thing

I'm off for the next two days, and I'm doing the happy dance right now just thinking about it. This week at work put me over the edge. So I dusted off my resume, and brought it to someone who I know works in HR for over 20 years to look it over for anything that needs to be worked on, put on there differently, etc. being that everyone and their grandmother right now is out looking for work. Scary time right now. That job is just making me crazy, and one more thing and I don't know what I'll do, I'm so frickin' angry. And to top it all off, this Tuesday, (after my two blissful days off,) we have a 9am meeting, followed by some stupid class, followed by me working all night til 10pm. Really? REALLY? 9AM is like the middle of night for me. And then to not be able to go home and take a nap before working 9 more hours. C'mon. Maybe I'm just being a brat, but I'm really NOT HAPPY 'bout any of it. I just need something else,....in a more office type setting that I don't have to deal with the public AT ALL. It's not rocket science,-believe me. ANYWAYS~ selling stuff on eBay still, and I'll be putting more stuff on there today. Buying stuff too. That's the dangerous part for me. I can ALWAYS find an awesome deal on SOMETHING on there. Very dangerous for me and my little bank account. I just found out my brother and his wife are coming for a visit next weekend from Georgia. It's very hard for me to not be my usual cynical mean self towards all the police/fire departments since my oldest brother and his best friend became firefighters, and eventually my brother became lieutenant and then captain of the county that they were working for.That's how he met my sister-in-law, she worked on the office end of the fire department and police department. And one of his daughters (my nieces and nephews,) works for 911 dispatch there, the other one married a cop, and his son is a firefighter now too in the same firehouse as his father,...and the daughter who works for 911 dispatch just married a firefighter too. So it's all in the family to put it mildly. Down here in South Florida, even the firefighters aren't so wonderful. Trust me,-I've had first hand experience with that too. (I'm not telling the story tho.) So,....after what MY husband and I have been thru with our legal nightmare of a life story here at this house for the last 4 to 5 years , I do not think very highly of any law enforcement/fire dept. etc. NIGHTMARE that changed my husband and I and our lives forever. I will never be the same person ever again,....and I'll probably never get over it. Never. I'm too damn angry. But like I said, it's very hard to be the loving, sweet little sister that my brother knows, when he has no idea what we've been thru, and my husband and I agreed, that the less people know in our family, the better. Trust me. But I'm torn. Always with my brother and his family. I love them dearly, and they are a blast to be around,.....and my nieces and nephews have grown up to be smart, wonderful, funny, people I LOVE to be around,....that being said,....they would just never understand the stupidity of the stuff we just went thru. So it's a push-me-pull-me kinda thing. I still can't wait to see them tho. I love my family immensely, and when we finally move to Canada, that will be the single hardest thing I have to do, is be away from them. I mean, I look forward to family get-togethers, unlike most people when the holidays roll around, they can only take so much time with their families. Not me. I relish every moment, and all the chaos, the food, the laughing, I absolutely love it. Sometimes, life is just not fair, and there's nothing you can do about it, ya know?