Hanging on

I know I haven't been here in awhile,...I've been so sick. I got strep throat, and my doctor told me to go to the hospital, and I didn't, so here I am in bed for literally 6 straight days, and I'm just now feeling a little better. Yeah, not smart on my part. I had a fever of 100 degrees or over for 4 days straight too, and that's what really scared me,....but today I'm feeling a little like the land of the living. Out of bed, made myself some eggs,(comfort food,) my husband went to the gym, so the house is nice and quiet,....such fun being had here.(*sarcasm*) I'm going to take Munky out for her walk,...sit outside and get some fresh air. Scary when a simple thing like that sounds so great to me,....but that's what happens when you've been sick in bed literally for a week I guess.(But I love taking Munky for her walks, we bond, and I love watching her.) Nothing else really new here,....watching all the Trayvon Martin stuff on the news,....so sad,.....I really feel for those parents,....we watched that story on the news here before it all blew up into what it is now, and I remember my husband and I looking at each other like,-this man kills an unarmed kid and that's it? And now look at what it's become and rightfully so. Rightfully so. I can't even imagine your worst nightmare come true as a parent, and it ends up being so horribly unjust, and preventable. I just can't fathom. I send them good thoughts, and lots of strength. So that's all for me, I'm already getting tired from sitting up and writing this (believe it or not,) so I'm going to rest for a little while, and than take Munky out.

Same stuff, different day

Tomorrow at work we are having our "corporate" bosses coming in, and everyone is going crazy yesterday and today to make sure every last thing is perfect for their visit. I say 'screw it!' and whatever happens, - happens. I don't care, and I'm lucky I have today off, because of all the crap that will have to be done. The two people who wanted to hire me last October for that Medical Pet Spa came in last week, and said they STILL haven't hired anyone, and that they are still interested in me. (We'll see how interested they really are.) So~ I will go in again, and fill out another application, and see what happens. Funny how I was just saying that I really needed to work with animals to be happy,.....and they came in that week out of nowhere. I'm not telling anyone this time but my husband, and just see what happens. I hope something comes of it. I would love to be working with animals somehow. My dream come true. I would be so much happier than I am now, just as long as I don't really have to work with people. Just the animals. And I came across someone selling a puppy toy Yorkie last week, and I SOOOO wish my husband woulda let me buy the little guy. He looked just like a little stuffed animal. So gorgeous, and sweet, and just beautiful. He woulda been my little baby. I would of named him Bruiser, or something big and bad like that. So sweet that little peanut. I wish. One day tho. One day. I'm off to list more things on eBay. I'm boring.

Fine line here

I still haven't downloaded,(uploaded?,) my pictures from my cellphone yet,(obviously.) I've been telling everyone about McCarthys Sanctuary that would listen. My wonderful happy high of going, and being around that gorgeous panther cub has worn off. Work, and the world has a way of doing that to me. I'm really realizing how happy animals make me, and how I need to be around them to be a happy fulfilled person in my life. It's just the thought of applying for jobs again makes me depressed, and starting over somewhere new, etc. You get the picture. But I think it will really be worth it for me. I mean, I know every job has it's positives, and negatives. I know this. But being around animals really soothes me, and with my anger levels at people, and this world, I need all the help I can get. I don't know where or when I will start applying, but I have to do it somewhat soon. I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't spend some quality time with my kittehs, and or some beautiful furry creature. I mean I do spend quality time with my kittehs, but I think I need to feel like I'm helping other less fortunate animals too. (Every single little life counts.) I want to wish this world away, and as much as I love clothes, shopping, shoes, and bags, I wanna go live somewhere where I don't have to be around ugly(as in mean) people ever again. This just feeds my anger,....and I can't help animals which makes me feel frustrated and angrier, and so forth and so on. Yea, you get it. I'm just angry still. I know this. My sweet little peanut, sleeping on the chair here puts me at peace tho. I love her so much, my heart wants to explode. I'm walking a very fine line here,-you know that don't you? I do.

I'm on a good high for once

Today is my second day off in a row, and so much to be done, and so much to tell. Now,-as soon as I can figure out how to get my pictures off my cellphone on to my computer, you will see pictures of me playing with a florida panther cub. We all went to McCarthy's Wildlife Sanctuary, and had a blast. It was great, and you are up close with big cats and birds mostly, and I was in heaven. I could've spent the whole day there, just being around all those big cats; leopards, panthers, tigers, lions, and they even had a real liger. (Yes, like what they talk about in Napoleon Dynamite.) We were in awe. She was 500 lbs. !!!! Gorgeous. They were ALL gorgeous and breathtaking. And when they brought out the 5 month old Florida Panther cub named Jaden, I actually cried. She was so beautiful and sweet, and wanted to play like a regular house cat does, only she was 10x stronger, and not knowing it. She looked like she had clown shoes on with her huge paws, and she wasn't scared of us at all. Beautiful time that I will cherish forever. She sat right in front of me at one point,(half on my foot,) and reared back and pushed me over not even realizing it. I gotta get my pictures on here. So yeah, the BEST day yesterday. We drove around West Palm Beach, looking at all the antique stores and consignment shops. Awesome area for that. We ended up eating at this cool little diner called Howleys. Good food, great atmosphere, and nice people surprisingly. I was on such a high, nothing was going to get me in a bad mood yesterday.(Not even stupid drivers on I-95.) We ended the evening going to Delray Beach and going to Kilwins to get some fresh dipped chocolate 'stuff'. (I got pretzels, and chocolate/peanut butter cups, and my SIL got caramel.) We went back to her house and watched movies til 1 in the morning. Such fun. I LLLOOOVVVVEEEEEE days like that. I miss days like that. I need days like that. It used to be more often,....now,....not so much. I'm surprised my husband was up for all that, but very glad that he was with us. Now I'm going to get some stuff put up on eBay, and also I'm stalking a new bag,(for me that is,) that I saw a very wealthy customer come in wearing a few days ago, into my work. It was a Kate Spade bag, but it was really beautiful in person. GORGEOUS. And I think I have to have it. I will show it to you when I get it. I'm still on a high from yesterday and seeing all the big cats up close and personal. I'll post pics as soon as I physically can. Yay me.

At least

Okay, - so I have to work the next 5 days, and I'm not happy about it. The next day I have off is the day my SIL and my hubby and I go to this McCarthys Sanctuary. We will get to interact with big cats. Thats the only thing getting me thru this week. Trust me. My husband and I are hanging on by the skin of our teeth still. Thru our whole legal nightmare that supposedly ended Oct. 31st of 2011, we still have NOT resolved it. My ex-PO still says my last pymt. has NOT cleared,(payed on 11/28/11. ) Really? REALLY? Please!!! I'm ssssoooooooo over all this crap. All. Of. It. I can't deal with it. I can't. My little mind just can't comprehend. I'm going crazy. This is why I recently just started drinking at the ripe old age of almost 47. I mean drinking nightly, a couple of drinks just to calm me. Just to stop me from raging or complaining about my job,....or my feelings, or life. LIFE. Yes, life. We are waging all our everything on this move to Canada. Canada. My forever fantasy life. Canadians. My SIL already had 'the talk' with me. All Canadians are NOT good, and all Canadians aren't honest, sweet, and related to us. I know. I know. It's just hard. I WANT to let my guard down. I want to live in a place where I feel like I don't have to worry about people taking advantage all the time like in the U.S.(Like when I was a kid.) The United States is NOT all that it's cracked up to be. Not in my eyes at least. I know we have many advantages,.....but it's NOT all hunky dory here. It's NOT. There are many homeless here, many go hungry everyday, the judicial system is a horror show, and I NEVER IN MY LIFE thought what happened in Louisiana could happen in the United States. People are greedy pigs here. I'm very disillusioned with people, I wanna say here in the U.S., but I might be wrong. I just don't know anymore. I don't. And that makes me very unsure of myself and surroundings. All for one, one for one. Yup. That's the U.S. in my eyes,.....maybe I'm wrong. At least I'm willing to admit that tho.