Happy belated Holidays

Post Merry Christmas,(or Happy Hanukkah.) Hope everyone had a great holiday. All's well with us here. Believe it or not it was like Thanksgiving all over again, and that was GREAT. Perfect for us. No pressure, no surprises,....just good food, laughing, and spending time together with my SIL. Perfect. All my drama with my cellphone is over, and it's working perfect and I love it. I really understand how people become addicted to these darn phones. I find something new on it everyday,-it's fun. Nothing planned for New Year's Eve,(I call it amateur night,) and I refuse to go anywhere, or drive at all, (unless I'm working, -which I am, until 11pm.) Soooo~New Year's day we are driving to my mom's, and staying overnight, it will be the first time my hubby will see her new condo, and she's very excited. I can' t wait to see her, and spend some time with her and my brother, sister, niece, and cousins who will all be there. I so LOVE family time, and the older I get, the more important it is to me. Too bad we will be moving so far away eventually,....family time will be even less, and that part I'm NOT looking forward to. I will have to make our own time together than even more special when we are up in Canada. We spent yesterday,(my hubby's birthday,) at our beach condo with painters, contractors, and real estate agents, trying to figure out how to make the most of it, to get it ready to put it up for sale. Not what I planned really, but we had to do it, and it got done,- and plans have been made, which is a very big step for us to all agree on, so in reality, a lot got done. A L O T. Kind of a big relief even. We spent hours into the night even, packing up what we did have left there, and bringing it all to the house here. (Munky was NOT happy. Poor little thing hid in our bedroom for hours no matter how I tried to coax her out.) All the new boxes became too much and she finally came out and had to investigate. So cute. She goes thru her little emotions, first she's scared, then curiosity gets the better of her, and she smells everything, than she will actually climb on stuff, and really get into it,-she's very cute the way she goes about it. New spots to explore, sleep and hide. (Just the thought of actually traveling with her up to Canada scares the ba-jesus outta me. She is too high-strung, and I'm scared I might have to give her something to keep her calm, and I HATE that. I can't think of that now and make myself sick over it, I have too many other things to do that to myself right now.) Any-who,........so that's the round up of all the news here,...nothing new or exciting,....just life. My boring life,.....that I love,....with my hubby, and kittehs,....yup,.......nothing new, just like I like it.

Just dealing with life

I got my not-so-new-now-Iphone, and I LLLLOOOVVVEEE it. (I bought an Otterprotector for it now at my hubby's insistence.) I really love this phone. I didn't realize how much you can do, and all the apps, and the touchscreen. I'll never go back to a Blackberry again. The screen is just so much bigger and better, and brighter. (Am I going overboard here?) I might not even buy a tablet now, 'cause when I'm bed and I can't sleep, I get on my Iphone. Love it. Okay,-enough. I'm done. So,....I'm trying to not go crazy on eBay, I've found so many great deals for designer stuff, it's overwhelming. I'm going to just settle on a great pair of leopard platform pumps that I've been hawking for awhile. There is also a gorgeous Furla bag, and a pair of Jeffrey Campbell shoes, and some vintage Chanel earrings, and,....I could go on and on. And you know the sad thing? We don't go out anymore for me to wear any of this stuff. Ever. Not like we used to. I mean we used to go out to great places, and dinners, when we lived in Coconut Grove,...but now,...we're lucky we go to Outback or anything. Just not into in anymore. Is that part of getting older? I'm trying to figure out myself. I thought I'd always be 'in shape', and stay 30 yrs. old. Forever and ever, and now,...I just feel like my best years are behind me, and I'm having a hard time dealing with that. I mean I'm the 'older lady' now,...or 'ma'am', or who knows,....that's hard to deal with. Any ideas, and comments, any thoughts? Anything? Help,......

The three Bobbi Brown's

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I really wish someone would've told me I'm going to get older no matter what. Even when I was 35 I didn't think of 45 or 5o. (And actually from 35 to 40 I looked the best I ever looked believe it or not. I was 96 lbs. with abs, and weightlifting/cardio-ing like crazy. Hey-I'm barely 5".) So yeah, here I am close to 50, about 30 lbs. overweight, and not even caring like I should. Oh~ and still wanting to do, say, act, dress, and be the same way I was when I was in my 20's. What is wrong with me? The one thing I have learned and I'm very aware of and sensitive about is, I don't want to dress like I'm 20-something like you see so many older women try to do,....I shop now at different stores for clothing, and I'm very aware of outfits I wear. I don't care how good some 40 or 50 yr. old woman looks, she SHOULDN'T be dressing like a 20 yr. old. The other thing that bothers me, and I'm guilty of it right now ONLY because my husband said I'd have to sleep in my car the rest of my life is if I cut my hair short. I hate when older woman have long hair, it just doesn't look right. (I mean long hair like down to your waist.) I want to cut my hair off, but he keeps telling me not to. I look ridiculous with long hair in my late 40s, and I know it! It's embarrassing. I wear it up or in a ponytail almost all the time anyways,...but gawd, I wanna nice, chic haircut that is age-appropriate,....he keeps telling me when I get back in shape that my long hair will look 'right' again. Fat chance. I really don't agree with that, but I do listen to my husband, and I do want him to be happy with me, so I don't cut my hair off for a while, but I will cut it shorter and shorter to get him used to it, and that's my plan. So yeah,...aging,....very hard to do gracefully, at least for me. So here is basically me in a nutshell about getting older, the Bobbi Brown's of my time. The Bobbi Brown of my 20's was my idol, I wanted to be her, look like her, and be in videos,...yeah, -whatever,-...then there was Bobby Brown in my 30's that was married to Whitney Houston, and I just wanted to wrap my hands around his neck and shake some sense into him. And last but not least,...there is Bobbi Brown of today,(in my 40's,) of makeup fame and how to look age appropriate and more importantly, how to look younger wearing the right makeup. So yup,...that's me.

Should've stayed home all day

Okay,-so this is how my day went yesterday,....(and it just goes to show I shouldn't leave the house,)......my husband calls me and asks me to meet him at Sam's Club,(we both had some errands to run, and I left before he did, so we took two cars,....I'm impatient, what can I tell ya,...)......soooo,...I meet my husband at Sam's Club, and he gave me an early X-mas present,....he got me an Iphone, and I was so excited I was like a kid on X-mas!!! All the stuff it does,...and the gadgets, apps, etc. It's GREAT,...make a long story short,...not even three hours later at home, the Iphone slides off the counter and falls face down and cracks the whole screen. NOT EVEN THREE FREAKIN' HOURS. Is that a record or something? I mean,...I can't be left alone with anything. I'm my husband's bad little cousin who broke all his toys. My Gawd. Needless to say, I cried my eyes out, and now I'm out a phone for the next few days. I'm just sooooooo mad at myself. I watched it fall as if it was in slow motion. I couldn't believe it. I stood there for like 15 seconds in disbelief telling myself that that really didn't just happen,....but it did. I went to bed soon after that, and had bad dreams all night about my alarm not going off, and not making it into work because I had no cellphone. Weird how your mind works. This is the first time I've had no cellphone since they came out. No. Cell. Phone. I feel unsafe. I really do. I know it's only for a few days, and I work literally 1 minute from home, but still. Unsafe. Yeah,....I'm going to stick with buying Munky and Sugar stuff for X-mas,...that will be safe.

Just tired from working but I LOVE her

It's been almost a week since I've posted, and work is kicking my butt. I have today off but that's it. I am soooo tired, and I'm going to just lay low with my hubby and the kittehs. Maybe I'll actually put some X-mas decorations up. (Bah-Humbug.) We'll see how lazy I am. I might put some stuff on eBay to sell,....I have the bug again to start eBaying. (I become obsessed with eBay and the stuff I find on there. It's a very slippery slope!) I wish I was more exciting and had something major planned, or that I could tell. Nothing. (Really,....how boring am I?) Let's see,...how 'bout a 'wish list' if someone could pick anything they want for the holidays? Okay,...here's what I'd wish for:
*For all animals to have a healthy happy life, - that's first and foremost to me.
*For people to get jobs that they need,
Now for the real stuff!
*A Loree Rodkin shopping spree,
*One of those $$$ custom-made cat trees for Munky and Sugar,
*A mid-century modern complete bedroom set,
*An endless supply of Pureology hair products,
*A computer tablet,which I am going to get very soon,...
.........and that's it really. (OK, I AM really boring right now,...it's just 'cause I'm tired.)
I'm going to go eBay now, and hawk some more stuff. I'll be back when I'm interesting!

Just stuff

Okay, so the last time I was here, I was gettin' ready to watch some football, to which the Raiders lost horribly. (NOT happy.) Still had a great day that day. Yesterday I had off, and I went shopping at Sawgrass Mills Mall. It's soooo big that I didn't get to more than half of it. I planned on shopping for my niece, mom, hubby, and SIL. Instead I bought two pairs of shoes and a gorgeous turquoise and sterling necklace from the David Yurman outlet. Yup. I'm horrible. I did get two little cellphone holders from the Coach outlet for the two girls next door for X-mas. So I'm pretty good now with getting X-mas stuff for the exception of my hubby.(The hardest person in the world to buy for.) I spent the day there at the mall,....and I don't think I'd go back til after X-mas. I love how X-mas season officially starts literally the day after Halloween. (Enough to make anyone crazy by the time December finally rolls around, and you wanna scream with hearing the music come Dec.25th!!!) Nothing else really going on,....my doctor appt. was cancelled at the last minute, so I have to wait for my blood test results two more weeks, and my hubby's surgery was cancelled due to his high blood pressure which is more of a result from stress about this surgery than him actually having high blood pressure. Sucks. Limbo again. So,...having fun with the kittehs and their antics. When the weather gets cool, for some reason the cats get frisky-er. They wanna run and play, and run some more, which is adorable. Munky and Sugar are just so cute together when they play it kills me.(I have no idea if we will be able to take Sugar with us when we move,...he is so adjusted to this area, but I will cry my eyes out, and forever worry about him if we don't. We will just have to see.) So again, that's all the boring stuff going on here in our little lives. Can't wait for Jan. 1st. Just want X-mas thing over with,...BAH-HUMBUG.

Football Sunday

Getting ready to watch the Dolphins-Raider game. (GO Raiders!) Tomorrow we are planning on doing some work to our condo,(putting in new carpet,) and my husband started putting in new screens here at the house.(We'll be putting a for sale sign up sooner and sooner!) Also this week my husband will be having a cancer spot removed from his back. It's really pretty big, but supposedly it's pretty contained we are told and there will be no need for anything further. I've been pretty hesitant to even talk about it, as you say cancer, and I immediately start to shake and cry. My father, my nana, both in-laws, and my husband's sister all gone. So, obviously I hear the big C, and don't react well. So I'm very hesitant to talk about it, (I haven't even told my family, only his sister knows about it,) and that's all I'm gonna say. So I'm off to cook some breakfast for us, and watch some football. I'll write more later probably. GO OAKLAND!

All about him

So I'm off today too, and my hubby has a doctor's appt. and we are going to try to do some work around the house. (He's getting more motivated, because he wants outta here as bad as I do. We are finally coming out of our haze from our legal hassles, and there is light at the end of the tunnel, and it's up to us as to how quick we can get there.) I'm also making another turkey dinner tonight, like I said,-we didn't get any leftovers from my sister when we went on Thursday, so I'm making our own Thanksgiving dinner tonight so we can have yummy leftovers all week. (Nothing wrong with that.) I've been putting some stuff on layaway at various places for my niece, and the two girls next door for X-mas, (my niece likes Dooney & Bourke, and the two girls next door like Coach,) so every time I see something on sale, I grab 'em. I still can't find anything for my hubby, he is just the hardest person to buy for, and sometimes he's just too practical. (What a picture I must paint of him on here, he looks the exact opposite of how I make him sound.) He's very conservative in his views and how to treat people, and he is very-for lack of a better word,-honorable,....to a fault even.Educated, well spoken, and very old-school Canadian. And if you saw him you'd see this big, muscleman,sleeve-tattooed man, with steel blue eyes, and a wicked dry sense of humor. He's MY knight in shining armor, believe me, there is no one better, smarter, or more handsome in my eyes! And that's how it should be,....anyways, I think the big mountain of a man just got up, so our day will start, gotta run,........be back soon.

Post Happy Thanksgiving

Had a great Thanksgiving. Family, friends, good food, happy animals,....and we were all together, and having fun, and THAT'S why Thanksgiving is my FAVORITE holiday. Love it. It just goes by too damn fast. (Insert sad face with a poochy bottom lip sticking out.) I have pictures, and I will put them up as soon as I can here. We went to my sister's house in Fort Pierce,(and it was gorgeous weather,) and thus, we have no leftovers to eat, so tonight I will be making my own turkey dinner, so we all can have yummy leftovers to eat all week! So that's going to be our day today, watching football, and cooking. Yay us. Already having a fun day too with Munky. For some reason she is in a really funny mood, running around and playing and doing acrobatics! It's like she knows we are in a good mood, and looking forward to a fun, relaxing day. (So cute, - my baby.) Short and sweet,....more to come soon.

Just gettin' ready for my fave holiday

Thanksgiving is 3 days away, and I can't wait. At work this is our busiest week of the year, and the day before Thanksgiving is our busiest day of the year. I love it right now, I only wish the weather was nice and cool. (Still in the 70's and 80's,....ick.) Can't wait to see my family, can't wait for dinner, can't wait for the day. My favorite, favorite holiday of the year. I'm actually watching a 'Friends' marathon, Munky is sitting with me, and my hubby is taking a nap,(obviously I'm off from work today.) Great day. And tomorrow, I'm suppose to get my blood-work done in the morning,...and I'm not looking forward to it. I really hate needles,....I've passed out before while giving blood. Yeah, I'm that person. I have/had multiple tattoos, and piercings, and for some reason I can handle those, but blood-work, stitches, staples in skin really skeeve me out to no end. I can see them even in a movie and I start to heeve really bad, like to the point where I HAVE thrown-up. It's gross I know. And last night we started to watch 'The Walking Dead' and this girl broke these live chickens legs, and fed them to zombies and I got so upset I walked outta the room, and boycotted watching the show anymore, and cried my eyes out. Do you think I'm a little sensitive about animals being hurt? Just a wee bit. I'm going to try to go to this Animal Advocate class the ASACP(is that right?) and the (in)Humane Society is having to help people who want to help animal causes more next week. I really want to do that. I'm so adamant about helping all animals, all the time. It's the one constant I've had my entire life,....my little fur/feather babies. Anyways,....just getting ready for my week. Can't wait,....and this is the week I'm smiling,.....love it! Happy Thanksgiving you guys. (Even I know I have a lot to be thankful for, and I am.)

Bay of Fundy in Canada

Been keeping busy with work, and looking online for properties for sale in Canada. The day we leave this stinking area I will jump for joy. I've found some stunning waterfront homes with lotsa land,....gorgeous places, but what do you do for work? I mean,....I think I could find a job just about anywhere really,....but it is better to have more options than less,-right? But planning anything with my husband is like pulling teeth,...he can't even plan something an hour from now,....it's very frustrating, but I've been living with it for years, so I can't really complain, we make do, -or I do at least. (My mom is the type that plans trips for two years from now and will have every minute detail figured out,....so yeah, it is kinda hard with my hubby.) I just want to blink, and be moved, and settled, and make some friends,...get our life going again. I feel like we are waiting for our life to start,....and this now is just us bidding our time until we get outta here. (Shouldn't be like that I know,....since my father, and both my in-laws have passed, you'd think my husband woulda learned that time is of the essence, but how soon they forget. Not me,....I'd do something everyday to make me happy,...whether it be with Munky and Sugar, my hubby, my mom,....writing here, I gotta do something just for me every single day, than I know my time isn't wasted.) Soooo~ took yesterday and today off from work, just needed some time with my hubby. Got some much needed errands accomplished today,...so at least we can cross some stuff off. And I can't believe Thanksgiving is a week from today,....my favorite holiday,...that I wait for allllll year long,...it's going to go by too quick. I know it. We are driving to Fort Pierce to my sisters home and my mom and both brothers will be there, it will be the first time in over 10 years we will all be together for Thanksgiving. So nice. My SIL is even coming-which I am very happy and excited about. I'm gonna try to take lotsa pictures,...maybe I'll even post some and you can see my sister's gorgeous home on the ocean. GORGEOUS. I almost had my husband talked into buying a house in the same neighborhood, but it was across the street from the ocean, with a home in between, and my husband just wouldn't do it, no matter how gorgeous the home and neighborhood was. (I was very sad tho. There might have even been a temper tantrum involved, -SORRY.I know- I'm a total brat sometimes.) I'm making a homemade bourbon pecan pie, and bringing a butterscotch rum cake from my friend's rum cake company that I've been helping promote. I've never had such a great rum cake in all my life,....it is to die for!!! Anyways, so that's all the news with me. (And yes,-I'm still taking care of my little duck family at work, and they are ALL accounted for and fine.) I'll check back with ya'll tomorrow. See ya.

Do you feel lucky punk?

Yesterday was our 5-year WEDDING anniversary. Mind you I don't really count that as our anniversary though. Our real anniversary of our first date is what I usually count, which was Jan.21st, 1990. But still, my husband got me a card, and I got him one,....the only time we celebrated it was our first wedding anniversary we gave gifts, and after that we said we'd really only do cards,-no pressure. So~I'm home today, and I'm going to cook a nice dinner, and we will hangout and watch football, watch 'Walking Dead', and make some plans to do some work at our condo tomorrow. (Could I be any MORE boring?) I was invited by my newly re-acquainted girlfriend to go to lunch today, but I backed out. I'm too tired, lazy, insert whatever word you want. I'm just not up for that yet, or at least today. I called her and apologized profusely, and she understood,(thank goodness.) My mom also called and she bought a new condo in the place she's renting at. She's very excited. She's going to live in the one she's renting until the lease is up and have all the work done to the one she bought, so the best of both worlds. I just hope it's not too much for her,...even doing that, all that kinda stuff can get very stressful. I told her I would go up there for a week in January and try to help out a little bit, oversee some stuff. (Believe me-after getting this house done after our ordeal, I can be a real bitch when I have to be and I don't play games, just straight up, that's how we want it, and if you can't do it, I'll find someone who will.) Yep. I don't have the time or patience for games when it comes to work being done on where you live. NONE. I guess that could be my silver lining in all that time,...I learned to stand up for what I want, and how it's done, and don't take any bulls*&% anymore, or care about being the proper sweet girl,- I just want it done, and done right, and done the way we want. Period. So yeah, I will go up and see what my sister and brother-in-law have planned to help out, and go try to help out too. What else? Wanna hear another story about my rage? Well,.....I was at work last night, and the last few months I have been taking care of this little duck mommy and her ducklings, I bring them food everyday, and give them fresh water, and they are the sweetest little things. They see me, and run to me,....it is so cute, and sweet. She started out with 13, and she's down to 2 ducklings left, and that kills me, but I can't be there all the time. So last night I looked out and the ducks were in one of two spots that they like to sleep. I watch over them like a momma bear,....and I see these two young kids standing there and an older boy,....and then I see the older boy like kick dirt at the ducks, and laughing. So by the time I could unlock the door to go outside, he ended up throwing his lit cigarette butt at them, and hit one of them. I jumped up and ran out there so fast, huffing and puffing, I was lucky I was coherent I was so enraged. (Pig of a boy to do. What kinda person does that and thinks its funny?) Because he was laughing when I got there,....and I yelled "Did you just throw that lit cigarette at them?",....I started yelling at him and threatening him, and telling him if he had a problem with me, to do something about it, here and now, and on and on and on. I scared the little kids, and the young man,(he was about 17,) didn't know what to do,...he just sat there staring at me, mouth slightly open and cowering. (He sure wasn't cowering when he hit my momma duck with the lit cigarette was he?!) And soon as I got there, (this part is so cute, the momma duck and babies ran to me, and stood behind me.) I couldn't stop shaking for hours,....I told that boy,-guy,-young man, whatever the hell he was, that I wasn't leaving until he left, and took the younger ones with him, and how he wasn't setting the right example for them. Yeah, I went off,....but how could someone do that? I KNOW a lot worse gets done to animals, and it's so hard to realize, and know, and I can't do a damn thing about it. So needless to say, I waited til they left, (he was driving believe it or not,) without one word being uttered back to me, and I made the little family move to the other spot they like to stay (which is hidden,) in case that idiot came back to try something more. I'm on the lookout for that guy. Thank god where I sit, I look over where the ducks stay, play, eat, etc. I swear, if it came to blows, I don't know what I would've done, the way my anger is. I know that words are big, but I am that angry. I really am,...and I'm going to a doctor to help with that after our fiasco, but I don't know if I'll ever not be angry again. I honestly don't, and I swear, I get enraged. So,...that was my little saga,....I'm still pissed tho,.....let me catch that kid around,......

Likes and Dislikes I guess

Let's see,...I went to the drugstore yesterday before work, and I bought this nail polish that I saw on someones toes,(believe it or not,) and I bought it, and gave myself a pedicure today, and I have to say, I'm in love with this polish!!! I LOVE it. It's the Milani Jewel FX. This stuff is awesome, it's like jewelry on your feet, (or hands,-whichever.) It looks GREAT. All I wanna do is wear sandals to show them off. Really. What else? My husband just went to the casino, and I finally have some alone time, which I love and never get,(being that my husband doesn't work, so he is almost ALWAYS home.) The second he leaves, off goes the TV, and I love just sitting in the quiet. No noise, no distractions, it's wonderful. I write so much better too. (I do write other than here.) Plus, I think, Munky likes it better too,....she always goes in our bathroom and lays on the bath mat and I think because it's the most quiet room in the house. Sooooo,.....that's just my opinion tho.(It's like a cows opinion, it's a moo point. I love that from 'Friends'.) I'm just silly,-sorry. I sat online looking at homes for sale in Canada last night til all hours of the night. I think it'll best be said that we go there, rent a place, get a real estate agent, and look for what we want. Any other way wouldn't be smart, and I can't believe we even thought we could do that for a second! We came so close to buying this one home in Noel Shore, in Nova Scotia, it was BEAUTIFUL, but in the end we just couldn't do it, not without knowing anything from the area, jobs, -nothing. So we didn't buy it and I STILL think about that home and how gorgeous it would've been, but it was probably too big just for us two,(maybe even three if his sister ever decided to move in with us.) It was 3000 sq.ft. and it was on 5 acres on a cliff overlooking the ocean,......gorgeous, gorgeous home,.....but I hoped, we hoped, and it was not meant to be. I could have had so many animals there,....but it just means there will be another place than,-right? Right. That's what it means to me at least,.....I can't think of it any other way,......or it will make me crazy. It will. I have to think like that with so many things to keep my sanity now-a-days. I just have to,....I just know that I can't stop being negative and paranoid after what we have been thru, and moving away to where there are not alot of people (unlike South Florida,) I will be much better off. I need to be around animals,....they are the only things that make me happy all of the time. They are, they are so sweet, and honest, and just unconditional. When I think of the things that people do to them, and put them thru, it makes me sick, and sad that I am a human being,....we are so selfish, and greedy. Ya know what?, I just have to stop there. I have to go play with Munky and have some fun,...the good kind,-with my baby.

Hindsight

So it's pretty late, and I've had a few drinks, which I don't really drink, AND,.......I'm watching 'The Town' AGAIN, AND,....my husband is making us french toast and turkey bacon, and I'm a happy little camper. (I have the next two days off from work, and I'm doing a jig!) I'm a happy little camper right now,....so I'm doing good. (If u could c the mistakes I'm making right now, u'd laugh. U'd think I was texting!) Still haven't gotten a new cellphone yet,........what the heck is wrong with me? I'm a lazy girl. I'm a lazy person. Really. Tomorrow they are having a food truck festival in my area,.....I'd like to go, and my hubby said he'd go with me, (my SIL said she'd go with me, but I'm not sure she will tomorrow.) I think it would be fun to go. I dunno'. Right now I want to stay up all night and have fun,....watching movies, and talking, and just having fun with my hubby. Munky is sitting outside right now, in our front door screened-in area, that she likes to sit in, and it's so cool out right now, we have our front door wide open, and it's in the low 60's. (It could be a little cooler, but I'll take it.) I soooooo love this movie. So many things you have to really understand and read into to understand. (It just hits home in so many ways.) My hubby and I have been talking so much about Canada,....I can't wait til we go. I just can't wait.
In hindsight we are all 20/20, don't forget that,.....in every way,....we are all 20/20 in HINDSIGHT.

Finally some nice weather down here

So what are the odds? This past week we have had the worst luck with our checks being received or 'got'. (As in bills being paid.) Two different checks in the same week were not received and the result was our Cable/Internet being interrupted, and our maintenance payment getting a late fee added at our condo. Wonderful. I'm telling you, we'd have no luck at all if it weren't for bad luck. Jeesh. (Gawd,-U-Verse is a real pain in the ass, let me tell ya. Never again.) This month I'm getting a new cellphone, and I think I'm going to get the new IPhone. I'm thinking about it at least, but still not sure. Everyone has been telling me that the Samsung smartphone is better, so I will check 'em all out,....who knows,....see whats best for me. I've been so good lately,...no shopping at all. Okay,-maybe a tiny bit. Altho I did go to a certain store, and put some gorgeous shoeS on layaway,....so I guess I have shopped a little which is waaayyy too little for me,-I'm jones-ing. I want a real shopping trip, with lunch and everything. And I never went with my friend today before work for lunch and shopping,.....she went tanning instead, and I ended up sleeping until I had to go to work (at 3pm), so I accomplished nothing before work. (Welcome to my world.) Tomorrow I'm going to try to do some cardio before work, and than I have Sunday and Monday off, yay me! What else?.......a chocolate festival is coming to Palm Beach next weekend, I think I'm going to try to drag my husband there,...if I can, and maybe even the Palm Beach Zoo, ( which I would LOVE.) If the weather stays cool like it is now, which would be absolutely PERFECT. It's so beautiful out right now,...the upper 50's, and breezy and clear,....it couldn't be any MORE perfect to me. Everyone's been complaining about it being cold, and I think it's perfect,....I LOVE this weather,....South Floridians are MORONS. I've never seen such idiotic, stupid people in my life, (and I'm from down here,)....hey, they voted in Rick Scott, what do you think? Need I say more. Just move him next to George Bush and you have the blind (and stupid) leading the blind (and stupid.)

I miss my good ole' days

Soooooo,....off for the next two days, home watching football with my husband and Munky. Very happy I finally got this past week over-and-done-with. Thank god. No news from the new job front. Like I said in my last post, I basically have made my decision anyways, and will probably stay right where I'm at. The holidays are right around the corner, and I can't see starting out low-man-on-the-totem-pole now, and maybe not getting paid the little I am now either. At least I have a chance to make commission where I'm at now, in the new job, it's not possible. So I guess I'm where I'm gonna be. End of story. What else? Getting new stuff in every day practically,....we have this new stuff called 'Adult Chocolate Milk', and I swear to god! people will buy and try anything alcoholic. Anything. And we haven't gotten our Bacon vodka in yet and people are really annoyed with us. Chocolate/Bacon martini's are the newest rage, along with pumpkin anything;beer, wine, or liquor, and everyone is asking for this new flavor in Ciroc vodka, (Puff Daddy/P.Diddy,) Peach Ciroc. OMG. They are driving us crazy with the phone calls, coming in,.....I've actually answered the phone at work saying 'we don't have Peach Ciroc'!!! Yes. I . Have. (I get too aggravated after too many phone calls.) So yeah, that's all my fun. Ummm,....still thinking about an Ipad or a Samsung Galaxy. And I'm leaning toward a Galaxy. It's just got better stuff on it, available for it, and more space. I think that might happen on Friday. Also,-someone I made friends with at work,(a customer who buys wine from me,) invited me to lunch on Friday. Yeay me. I haven't done that in soooo long. I miss it so much. My girlfriend who I just got in touch with again, used to do the best get-togethers. She threw me my wedding shower, (the one and only thing anyone has ever done for me, and I purposely cut her outta my life for three years. How smart am I?) She really knows how to do things up if ya know what I mean. For the first 'Sex and the City' movie, she got a limo for four of us, bought us all 'We are with Big' t-shirts, and a stocked bar in the limo,(I don't even drink,) and got us all tickets to the couch movie theatre in Boca,(the best place to see a movie,) where you can drink alcohol in the movie theatre, and the seats are loveseats that rock or recline. It's SO COMFORTABLE. (For every movie that Russell Crowe has come out with since 'Gladiator', my husband has bought tix to THAT theatre on opening night of the movie for us. Isn't he wonderful?) I hope I go on Friday. I miss getting dressed nice, going to lunch, and then going shopping. I used to do that with my two girlfriends all the time. That was like the best day to me, BEFORE everything happened. I'm almost too paranoid now to do that for a day. I'd constantly be watching everyone around me, (side effects of our legal nightmare,) and if I had to drive anywhere, I'd be watching my rear-view mirror every waking second, and doing u-turns all over the place just to see if someone was following me. Yea, I'm that paranoid. Okay, I'm done now. No more for me to tell.

I'm NOT good with change

Okay,....so I got offered a job at a pet resort/boarding/medical facility that is right down the street from us here. Do I go for it or what? It would be doing what I love, (being around animals,) and I'm not positive about the details, but I was told that the benefits there are excellent, but not the pay, which is exactly what I'm in now with this liquor company. The pay is horrendous, but the benefits are top notch,.....so what do I do? I am so not good with any kinda change,.....good, bad, or otherwise. I'm so comfortable at where I am right now, but that other job just sounds so fun, and even the not-so-fun parts, I've already done, and know I can handle 'em. I have to go to a 'formal interview' but this mgr. already told me I'm as good as hired. (She even introduced me to everyone as the new employee, while I was there filling out the application.) I'm just torn,....I don't know what to do, but I guess at the formal interview I can ask questions, like about working holidays, or Sundays, or pay, or whatever and then way my pros, and cons. Gosh~ who would've thought? People are out there fighting for jobs they can't get, and I got this situation. I feel guilty too,...I don't know. I honestly don't. I guess I'll just wait-n-see. Any suggestions?

How boring am I

Sooooo~ nothing new really with me. I have no life,...I work and come home, spend time with the kittehs, and hubby, and then I get on the computer and that's about it. How boring am I? I mean really. I haven't shopped, I haven't eBayed, or anything at all, - how good am I being? And boring like I said. Took Munky to the vet and she got all her shots updated, checked her ears, and clipped her nails, and she was good to go, but when we got home all she did was sleep. For over 24 hours, and she got up once to throw up poor baby. I called the vet and she told me to give her half a Pepcid and it should help her little tummy. We did and about 8 HOURS later she was good as new. Let me tell ya, I'm not doing those shots again for her unless I absolutely have to. I HATE seeing her like that. Hate it. She laid on my husbands pillow and slept the whole time, so we switched, and I laid on my husband's side, and she slept right next to my head. My husband stayed with her while I was at work, and got her to eat a little finally last night. This was very traumatic for me. She IS my child ya know. So, uh,.......that's about it really. Been going and reading some other interesting blogs too. Gawd, I AM BORING.

A little bit of everything

Okay, so I'm back again. Posts have been few and far between I know.(Sorry.) Work has been hogging all my time. All the orders, all the 'new' stuff like I mentioned in my last post. All the new flavors in vodka are coming out of the wood-work. Peanut butter, cookie dough, bacon,....all vodkas!!! (Scary, - isn't it?) And yes, believe this or not, I talked to another liquor company rep just yesterday, and he was telling me that they actually have a salmon flavored vodka coming out. Ewwwwwww,....can that be any MORE disgusting? I mean really now. Ewwww. What's next?-----anchovie?, sardine?, filet mignon? Enough is enough already. Good God. Soooo~ ummmm,....so yes, work is kicking my butt as it always does starting this time of year. People just get meaner, and meaner too. Like I always say, it NEVER ceases to amaze me. Tomorrow I'm taking Munky to her second vet appt. she has ever had, and I know it won't be easy. I hate seeing her scared, and cry,....it makes me cry. I think she has picked up ear mites, and I have to get that treated. As much as she loves going outside on her walks at night, I'm not so sure it's such a good thing anymore. I'm going to ask our vet to be sure tho. I don't want her walks to be doing her more harm than good. The last time I took her to the vet when she was 9 weeks old was to be spayed, and get her shots, and I cried my eyes out handing her over to someone else and leaving. I wanted to stay, but it just didn't make sense. I cried all the way home in the car, and even called into work the next two days because she was so out-of-it from the anaesthetic. I wouldn't and couldn't leave her side. I put her in bed with me and laid there with her comforting her, and tried to feed her and give her water. My sweet little girl, - how I love her. So to say the least, tomorrow is a big day for both Munky and I, and I already told them I'd be late coming in. What else is new? .............. getting ready to get a new cellphone, and I think I'm going to try out an Iphone. I dunno', they have to give me some sort of good deal before I even think about it tho, so we'll see. (I'll keep ya'll posted.) Wish me luck tomorrow, and I'll tell ya some great drink recipes to go with those new vodka flavors! Stay with me.

I will win

This is just some quick thoughts for today,...............Can you believe how that fateful day in April of 2008 changed our lives and us so dramatically? Tonight is the first time in I-don't-know-how-long that I haven't walked around with my cellphone in my hand, bra, sock, shoe, etc. Ever since that day, I have,......in case that ever happened again, and I needed to call our SIL, next-door-neighbor, or lawyer. Isn't that horrible? I actually opened our blinds on the sliding glass doors to look out at the pool all day, and watch the beautiful palms sway in the wind, and the rain in the pool. First time in years. I even took a shower with my cellphone in my purse far away from reach which is a FIRST for me. I guess I'm making some head-way. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's very true, and a very real fear for me. I sleep with my cellphone EVERY night (under my pillow.) Every night, and that's no lie.(I wish it were.) And my kittehs,......thank god for them, they are my savior. When I get real focused on something, (that has to deal with our 'legal experience',) my kittehs take my mind off of it all. I play, chase, and skwitch them to there hearts desire. I so love them. They help me thru my dark times,-BELIEVE ME. And,~.......in the middle right now of watching the 'Breaking Bad' finale for the second time, and it's as intense as ever. Made fresh mussels, chicken and vegetable pot stickers, and some fresh squash. Great dinner, great entertainment. Cleaned out one of our bedrooms finally this afternoon, and now we got lotsa room for our treadmill and exercise bike. Even have our weights in there, and put up one mirror, with more to come. Even tho I hate everything here, I have to survive here, and this helps. It helps ALOT,- trust me. I have to survive here for however long we end up here before we move. And I have to be somewhat healthy, or it will kill me. Us. I can't have that. I REFUSE to let that happen. REFUSE. NOT an option. Period. So here we are. I refuse to let them win. REFUSE. F&*%$ them. I win. Now and forever. Yay me.

Just a start

I have a weekend off like a 'normal' person! Yay me! I've been so excited alllll week knowing I have the weekend off. So nice. I've already done cardio, and I'm watching a marathon of Dogs 101 on Animal Planet. I LOVE that show,....good info for when we do finally get a dog. (You know I can't wait.) I'm also planning on cleaning out one of the three bedrooms today, and make it our 'cardio room' so we will feel a little more enthusiastic about doing cardio. I gotta start somewhere to stay on top of exercising, right? Counting down the seconds til we start cooling off down here in South Florida. It's STILL in the 80's and 90's here,.....ICK. Nothing else new really going on in my life here. Same ole', same ole'. What else?..........Oh,....some new products that will be coming out on the liquor market,.....new vodka flavors: marshmellow, peanut butter, and bacon. Also, pomegranate tequila. Yep. Scary isn't it? We already have frosting, cake, gummy bear, and whipped cream flavored vodkas that people are snapping up like crazy for holiday parties and baking. Big right now is pumpkin every which way, in beer, liquors, and simple syrup. I'll never get it, considering that I don't really drink,....so oh well, to each his own, right? So yea, just gettin' ready to do some cleaning, organizing, and throwing out, AND I'm actually lookin' forward to it.

Can't wait for that FOR SALE sign

I know I'm not posting as much. (Tis the season. Holiday stuff starts Sept.1st in the liquor business,...and we have started,-ICK.) So I've been working like a mad-person, and I woke-up today with all sortsa allergies, so I called in sick at work. I just needed it,-and they said no problem,-so that's that. I'm just tired too. The weather here is just starting to get nice, but still too warm. I'm trying to light a fire under my husband's behind to start any project on this house, but he's fighting a severe sinus infection. So oh well. Another year here in this miserable place won't kill us I guess. I just hate the memories here,....it's just too hard. Next week we made a deal to go to the beach condo, and clean it up and install new carpet and get it rented out. One thing off our minds than. I just want to move outta here. I've been looking online again at places in Canada, and OMG!!! There are some GORGEOUS homes with property on the ocean with homes to die for for sale, and NOT a lot of money either. Nice. I keep showing it all to my husband, we will see when it comes down to it I guess. Gorgeous places,-I'd love it. Do we need to stay here? NO. Do we want to stay here? Maybe, but not here, maybe closer to his sister in NE Boca, or up in Fort Pierce somewhere close to most of my family now. Yeah, I'd rather that, but I dunno' what we will ultimately do when it comes down to it, and neither does my hubbie. It will be whatever happens and falls into place at that time. I know him. Get thru the holidays, and we will be better able to cope. The only thing I'm looking forward to is Thanksgiving, and I can't wait to have everyone together. Yea us. YUM. And the only thing I will miss here is the few friends I've made, (three sets of neighbors have been wonderful,) and I will miss them immensely. I've watched their kids grow-up, we banded together during a bad hurricane,....and we helped each other thru various ups-n-downs. In spite of the neighbors, I still want outta this area. It's going down-hill fast anyways. It's nowhere near what it was like when we first bought this house,....and I just can't seem to shake our bad feeling here. I'll never feel totally comfortable living here no matter how long we stay. That's all really. I guess you can say we are on a month to month basis. I just can't wait til we can put up that FOR SALE sign in the front yard.

However you wanna say it

I'm still here, and working, working, working. Had a quiet night when I got home from work yesterday. My husband had dinner in the oven, and we watched 'Breaking Bad'. (Unbelievable episode.) This whole year went by so fast, - I can't believe it's already October, and the big holidays are right around the corner. Thanksgiving I'm REALLY looking forward to, my brother and his wife are coming down from GA. and we are having it at my sisters, and everyone will be together for the first time in years,(minus one sister.) I'm VERY VERY excited. (Besides the fact that it's my FAVORITE holiday.) I cannot wait. I've been looking at real estate online up there in Fort Pierce/Vero Beach area and there are some great deals,...and I'm just trying to talk my husband into that,....we could sell this house and the condo on the beach and buy a place on the beach up there, and have the best of all worlds. (He hates change,) so trying to get him to even look at something is like pulling teeth. I will get him to come around when he sees some of the good deals out there right now,-especially on the ocean. (He thinks we'll never be able to get another place on the beach once we sell the one we have.) I'll keep trying because #1-I really want to live closer to my family, and now that they live in one area is the time to do it, #2-we NEED to get out of this house of horrors, and get on with our lives,-living here just makes us depressed and makes me ornery. Being around my family will mellow me out some,...because they make me happy, and last but not least #3- we need to sell sell sell, and JUST GET OUTTA HERE ONCE AND FOR ALL,- END OF STORY, and not look back ever. Take our kittehs, and just get moving,.....adios,.....adio,....a la prochaine,.....salut,.....ciao,....mandi,...however you wanna say it,...it's just GOODBYE.

Make it count

Well, I'm still here. I'm working like crazy,....and I feel like I'm falling apart, AND getting myself together at the same time. Weird, or what? I'm getting up earlier everyday, and I'm doing cardio,...(hey,-it's a start, right?) I really want to move outta this house, and this area. I don't know how to start that discussion without causing an outright fight with my husband. I'm just really unhappy here. And paranoid,.....and unhappy. And that's all I'm gonna say about it all. I have to start getting him to think he's getting the house ready for us to move. And I wanna puppy/dog. So bad. So,....so,....SO bad. I keep seeing all these horrific things everywhere in the online newspaper about people doing horrifying things to animals, and maybe if I can help just one of those peanuts, I'd be a little happier, and happier with myself even. Just a little. Besides, I'm great with doggies (goggies.) I'll keep trying to convince the big man, and see what he says. Eventually I'll get my way,.....
Haven't shopped in awhile, and I'm itching to get these shoes I saw on Nordstroms(website),....I might just have to get them. It's funny,....my taste is changing so much, I see it flashing before my eyes. I'm actually starting to look at shoes, and hoping they are comfortable, and not just looking good. That's all I used to care about,....I didn't care how bad they hurt, they just had to look good, - period. For real, I didn't care whatsoever. Now~ they better look good AND feel good all in one. Must. Be. Comfortable. Now. (I really am getting old,-aren't I? ) This is all part of it,....and there is no going back. I'm really starting to realize things in my life, like I'm going to have another chance or something,......I dunno',.....sometimes I wonder if it's all cracked up to what it's suppose to be. All the good stuff seems to go by and you don't even realize that it's the good stuff til it's already over. I mean,-am I right? That's really how I feel. What's that saying?- "This isn't a dress rehearsal, so make it count".

Just venting some more

I'm working like an animal, and I'm counting the seconds to my next day off. Tomorrow night at 9pm, I will be off until Tues. afternoon. Yay me. AND I actually called the cops on someone at work Thursday night because she came in to order some wine, and we didn't have it, and she began to yell, scream and curse at me and the other person I was working with. Ya know what? That's not how you get someone to help you find the wine you're looking for,(you stupid, ignorant, bitch.) She came back in THREE times,(to yell, curse, and scream some more at us,) and I had already called the police, but by the time they got there she was already gone. Is life that bad, that you go off on someone because we ran out of the wine you want, at that very second of the day? Really? REALLY? And the dumbass cops took two seconds to get 6 cop cars at our house when they thought we were dealing drugs from our home(and proceeded to dismantle our home, and life in 5 more minutes flat!,).....but nnnoooooooooo,......at least 5 mins. to get to my work place,....you pigs. Yes, I still have some anger issues, I know, and believe it or not, I am working on them, but when things like this happen, I just get so angry, I want to scream, and hit someone,(preferably whoever it is that's being the ass*&^%.) So yes, this week was not a fun one at work. I hate my life, and job, and the only thing getting me thru is my kittehs, husband, and family. I HATE South Florida to high hell. The people get rude-er by the second, and I'm NOT JOKING. I've seen it all, and let me tell ya, it's NOT pretty, I don't give a rats ass how nice the weather seems to be to some. I came home after that day, and just crawled into bed after taking Munky for a nice hour and a half walk, (nice quiet time, just us two,) and my husband made me some dinner, and I went in and crawled into bed. That is the only way to end a day like that. I didn't argue, or fight with my husband, or even with anyone at all,....just tried to forget it, but before that I think my blood pressure shot thru my head, and stressed me out to no end. I was so clenched and tight, I hadn't even realized it until I sat down in the grass outside with Munky and took a deep breath. For almost 6 hours, I must've been like that,....and right now I'm paying for it, because my shoulder is in pain again, and I know it's from that. (That stupid bitch from Thurs. night.) God help her if I ever run into her outside of work, that's all I gotta say.

Yes, No. Maybe.

Sometimes all is right in the world, and sometimes you just feel like something needs to be done. At least that's how I feel. My mom is settled already,......all my siblings are doing good, the friends I do have are all good, and our legal fiasco is over,...so life feels almost right, right now. You ever have those 'things' that you just feel like you need to do in your own universe? Whatever it may be? I have some unresolved issues I need to let an ex know about, for me to feel like things are right. I mean I just need to let him know that things that happened were NOT all his fault. This may sound dramatic, but I couldn't 'live with myself' if I didn't let him know that things were just not all his fault. I have NO FEELINGS for him, I don't want any future contact with him, I don't want any thing at all from him, but just to know that HE knows that I realize things weren't all his fault, and he's not a bad person. That is all. Literally. For real. That is it. I LOVE my husband, and could NOT imagine my life without him. Ever. I just couldn't. I know I'm right where I want to be. This is the only thing thats bugging me tho. I just feel like I have to do this, and still somehow, I feel like if I told my husband, he'd be hurt or feeling betrayed in some way. I just know that I don't feel right if I don't do it, so I think I will. I think. I don't know. I keep going back-n-forth. I dunno'. Oh,........whatever.

Times gone by

Funny how you remember certain things in your life from certain times. I wonder what makes you remember and think of them? I do wonder. I had a dream about a childhood friend who was shot and killed by her boyfriend because she didn't want to be with him any longer. I knew her since kindergarten. I had this dream of her as a little kid, and I was a grown-up, and I picked her up and put her on a counter, and she was in front of these giant floor to ceiling windows, and the sky was black, and ready to storm, and all of a sudden we see funnel clouds starting to form, and she was scared, and I kept consoling her saying that my husband was with us, and would take care of everything, and keep us safe. And the three kittehs were there, and safe, knowing that. I told my husband about the dream, and he wondered what it meant. I know that it meant that I feel safe with him with me, like never I have since my father died. Kinda eye-opening. Brought back so many feelings, and memories, made me very sad. I've had two extremely close childhood friends die sudden deaths, and I did NOT handle it well. Not at all, and thank God my parents were there to help me thru it. I am SOOOO lucky, - I know. My parents actually came to my work, and brought me home before telling me one of my friends died in a horrific car accident the day before. I knew her since 6th grade. (My father came across her obituary when he was reading the morning paper.) She was smart, beautiful, and her family was rich. She was everything I wanted to be, and I hoped at the time, that if I was friends with her long enough, I would be just like her. I idolized her. She even actually dated some famous people, (I won't say who, but I have firsthand pictures that I took,) of who she dated while she was in high school. Yeah, I think back now, and it was a scary thought. How could her parents let her date someone older than her like that? So much more experienced? I could never let my high school child date someone that much more experienced, and older,....that's like throwing her to the wolves. I just couldn't NO MATTER WHAT. I COULD NOT-EVER. EVER!!!! Whatever I guess. Who am I to judge,...but it really makes me wonder. AND,....it makes me miss and wonder what might've been. I miss them so much. They both gave me so many great, fun, childhood memories, that I could never forget. Never. They will forever be in my heart. Funny how dreams bring back so many memories so vividly.

The Town

I love when I have my days off. I feel so comfy and happy. I talked with my mom and sister, and everything is going smooth with my mom. She is totally moved in, but just needs to unpack stuff. My niece has already stayed with her overnight, and loves it there. She says it's very comfortable and home-y. (Yay.) I'm glad, my mom sounds relieved. So it's already a week I've been home, and I worked seven days straight, and that's NOT FUN. (This week will be a piece of cake.) My SIL came over last night and we had a nice dinner, and watched 'Breaking Bad', and she went home early, and started telling her about this movie I really want her to see. 'The Town' with Ben Affleck, and Jeremy Renner. GREAT movie. I feel like how they do in the movie, it's us,(my husband and I),against them,(the cops.) It's extremely rough,(or at least my husband and I think so,) the language is atrocious, and violence is there, but it's a great movie regardless. Ben Affleck wrote and directed I think. Makes you see things from different perspectives, and how other people's lives are so different than your own. Made me think a lot. I grew-up very middle-class, loving parents that were married my entire life, and two older brothers, two older sisters who never wanted for anything, but we weren't handed things on a silver platter either. We all worked, in fact I'm the only stupid one in my family who didn't go to college. (I'm still kicking myself for that.) I could NEVER imagine growing-up with one parent, or a parent in prison, etc. That seems so unrealistic a life to me. I honestly can't imagine it, and how different I would be. We all are pretty successful, married, have families, etc. We all call each other, and when things get rough in someone's life, we have always rallied around each other, and helped one another. So yeah, this movie really knocked me for a loop, and I love this movie like I haven't loved a movie since 'Gladiator'. Watch it, you'll be surprised.

I'm just looking out from inside

I've been working like an animal all week. No days off til Monday,-ICK. Don't ya just feel like it never ends? I do. Sometimes I really hate work, and other times it's a welcome relief from myself. The weather here has been stormy and rainy for almost two weeks now, and every time I get a day off, it's sunny. I'm the exact opposite,....I LIKE the rainy weather,....gives me an excuse to lay in bed with Munky, and not get up all day. I LLLLOOOOVVVEEEE stormy days.(As long as I don't have to go anywhere.) So~ I finally went to the psychiatrist, and wasn't impressed. I'm going back to the other one I went to, besides,....they do pet therapy there, and you know I LOVE that. Have a big dog sit with me while I talk,(with me, on me,~doesn't matter,~ it calms me, and makes me feel more at ease, no matter what I have to face in my sessions.) The next thing I have to do is go to an endocrinologist the end of the month, and I'm still going to that chiropractor/orthopedic surgeon for my shoulder,....it still bothers me, but I'm not in pain like I was. (Somehow I dislocated my shoulder without knowing,) and he had to put it back in place,....with NO PAIN KILLER, right there in the office,...lemme' tell ya, that was no picnic. Even my husband wasn't thrilled with doing that, and he has a very HIGH threshold for pain. I did it, it's done, and I'm doing my exercises the dr. told me to do, to keep my shoulder and neck pain-free,....so far so good. Other than that, nothing else new or exciting. My mom is getting settled in her new place, and she feels very comfortable and at home,...(that counts for a lot.) My brother is staying with her for a few nights a week, and my niece goes over there after classes to do her homework, and keep her company, and she has Friday dinner at my sister's house with everyone there. I'd so love to move up there. I'm really keeping my fingers crossed that I can talk my husband into moving up there,....and even just renting a place for a little while,......every week have dinner with my family,.....pure heaven to me. I miss them all so much. We all have so much fun together. I'm hoping I can talk my SIL and hubby to go up there for Thanksgiving and Christmas. (LOVE Thanksgiving,-it's my favorite holiday,-hate Christmas,...too much pressure what with all the gift-giving-crap, etc.) but I REALLY wanna be there for my mom. I hope we can do it. So, how exciting am I? Really? Really? I AM getting old, aren't I? Geesh.

It's almost over

Sometimes things feel like they are happening to someone else. Sometimes you change, and you know it, or don't know it,....but all this happening to my step-dad, and my mom, has changed me and I know it. For the better tho. I am starting to realize things, and come out of my depression a little bit. Life is to live,.....and I'm trying. If I could only get my husband to realize the same thing now. We have to get out of this house. We have to. And no big changes will happen as long as we are living here. We have to move on,....it's killing us the longer we stay here. It's draining the very life out of us. I see that now. Every time I open that damn front door, I picture the SWAT team on the other side. I re-live them tearing this house apart as we sat here watching and being unable to do anything about it. I picture my poor scared Sugar running from room to room not knowing what to do,...(that alone makes me cry thinking about it, and hate those damn pigs for not letting me calm him, or let him outside. He was so scared. I HATE them forever for that.) I just know every day I remember and re-hash things in my head thinking it will change something. I know better but I keep doing it. Next week, going to the dr. will help me a lot again. I have to start again somewhere. And I've been doing cardio a half hour a day since I've gotten home from my sister's. I'm trying so hard to pull myself up and out of this depression, I'm not sure I would ever see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am now,.....I think. I hope it stays with me,.....and I'm still waiting on that confirmation letter, and that will totally end all the bad on that part,.....right along with today's funeral that's already over. It's all almost over.

Saying goodbye

Well tomorrow is the funeral, and I'm having a hard time with it. Going back there just reminds me that things are now forever different, and most likely we won't be going down there anymore,...or at least for a very long time. I'll never feel like a little kid again, like I did when I would go down there and spend a few days,......I really did feel like I was a kid again,...very safe, cocooned,...and childlike. Very, very hard. So one part of our life is over, and another chapter begins,(as they say.) Just hard dealing with it. I have a psychiatrist appt. next week. I never got re-evaluated like I was supposed to, and now is a good time as ever. Watching 'Zombieland' again right now, and getting ready to make some eggs, bacon, and pancakes for us for breakfast. I love breakfast food,...anytime of day, morning, noon, or night, 24/7. I never get sick of it. When I was a kid my father would always make me scrambled eggs, and ever since than, breakfast food has always been my favorite. SOOOO ~ going to my SIL for dinner tonight,...I'm looking forward to it. Monday I go back to work, and I'm already dreading it. I keep remembering back to when I didn't work, and how great it was, but in this day and age, it's the right thing to do, no matter what kinda money we have saved. Any little bit is better than nothing coming in, and I will be happy one day and look back, and actually appreciate that I worked. Well,~ here are the pictures of the home we left in Key Largo. Still mourning the loss.

Things are looking up

Going through other blogs and reading them. I'm always interested in other people's way of thinking and life. But what I really wanna know is how do they get so many 'followers'? Are their lives and postings so much more interesting than mine? Am I that boring? Or bad? Just wondering. Yesterday did nothing much, but I DID DO CARDIO. It's a start. Tried to take Munky for a walk afterwards but it kept raining, AND,....I kept seeing roaches,....and that scares me more than just about anything,......I'm phobic about them. I HATE those damn, disgusting, gross things. Phobic I tell ya. (The only thing I don't feel bad about killing. Happily.) Anyways~today I'm suppose to make some phone calls, and really that's all thats on my agenda,...Munky is napping in the tent I made on our bed, and my hubby is thinking of going in with her. :) Read the paper today, and saw that someone we used to be neighbors with was in an article; and not for a good reason. He stole a boat, and when he was pulled over for it, he claimed it was his,(which it wasn't,) and then he said he was the actor Sam Elliot, and he was going to Key West to do a part in a film there. REALLY? If you saw this man, you'd die laughing. Does he really think he looks anything like S.Elliot? And why steal ANYTHING? Just sad,...I guess tough times really are making people batty. I feel bad for him,....but it's still no excuse. Oh~ who knows what's going on in his life that made him do something so strange,....who really knows. I miss my mom and sister, and all the animals there. My sister called me twice yesterday saying how all the animals were moping around looking for me. I miss them too. Joey,-their big moon-faced white gray spotted kitteh with big green eyes,....Silver,- their little gray, long-haired,green eyed, sweet, delicate kitteh, Nitro,- all black, sleek, very athletic beautiful girl, Chippy, the little rat-terrier,(he's beautiful and very sweet little guy,) Lacey-, part Siamese, part Bengal, gorgeous blue eyes, she looks cross-eyed, but she is gorgeous, and the sweetest little personality, she is a little lover,....and then there is Ginger, Sassy, and Teddy, the inside/outside doggies. And they have two hens, and a rooster named Pecky. It's pure heaven to me, there is always someone wanting/loving attention, and that keeps me calm, happy, and in a good mood. That much I realize. I came home with a new outlook somewhat. I guess I just realize how good things can be if I want them to. Like I keep telling myself,.....no one can change me, but me. I have to make those changes, and make it work, if I want to get back to how things used to be somehow. Our legalities are finally over,(altho I'm still waiting for that last confirmation letter stating that,) and we can finally move on to the next chapter of our lives, whatever that may be. (And I wish it was moving north to be closer to my family.) I have to remember; one step at a time.

I thought I would I miss it, but I don't

It's Monday morning and a lot has been done concerning my mom. She will be moved in and settled in less than two more weeks. So now we just sit and wait at my sister's,- which is extremely comfortable, and a lot of fun. (Thank god.) I go home today, and tomorrow or Weds. I have a dr.'s appt. for my shoulder. And I'm taking the last few days off before work next Monday. Sunday is the funeral, and my husband and I are both going with my mom for that. The final closure she needs and then it will really hit her, and I told my sister this, so I know they will be there to help my mom with that. I would LOVE to move up here and be close to my mom, sister, and brother. That would be pure heaven to me. I'll have to work on my husband with that. Soooo~ I miss my little Munky and Sugar, and my hubby alot. We sat on the phone last night and talked after watching 'Breaking Bad'. He recorded it so we will watch it again tonight together and discuss what we think is going on. I feel like I'm a million miles from home here, and it's not that bad being away. (Not from husband and kittehs, just that area, and house.) I don't miss it at all, and I genuinely thought I would. (Why I don't know.) All the animals here at my sister's is like heaven to me,...she has one rooster and two hens, four dogs, and five cats, and they have a home to die for,...it's on an acre and a half over looking the water, and their house is up on stilts, and it's gorgeous,...hard to explain, but it's very big, and comfy, and home-y. All the animals are happy and well kept,(they told me so.) So yes, it's wonderful staying here. That's all the news on the home front here. What an exciting life I lead.

Shopping and crying alot

Got a lot of things done today. My mom is now a renter at a very nice condo that we found and she happens to have a friend who lives there that was the lady who actually introduced my mom and dad, and got them to go out together. Who knew? Small world,- isn't it? She's still getting many, many phone calls every day from people sending their condolences. She cries a lot. I know that's to be expected, but it rips my heart out every single phone call I hear. (My sister keeps telling me that it's all part of the closure she needs. I don't know. I guess so. I cry too, when I hear her crying tho.) Sooooo~ my niece and I took my mom to the mall to get her a dress for my other niece's wedding this September up in GA.,(which I've finally decided I'm definitely NOT going to.) She tried on a bunch, and found one, but it didn't fit quite right, so we will keep looking. Went and got pizza, and my brother S. came over, and we all had dinner together. It was very nice,....I miss times like that. I LOVE times like that. I want to try to get my husband to move up here. It would be so great if we could. It would be the closest I'd ever get to having my whole family living close by. I would absolutely LOVE it. I love that feeling around the holidays, having everyone together, and knowing they are close by. I love that so much. The only time it was like that was when my father was alive. So, like I said, I am going to try to get my hubby to at least think about moving up here. We'll have to see, I guess. We stopped by CVS, and I found this perfume by Shakira, and I SOOOO LOVED it, so I bought it. I needed something to make me feel better. Anything to cheer me up. You know me,....shopping helps for a little while,....just a little. And going shopping tomorrow with my niece at all the thrift/consignment stores here. They are in abundance up here. I love it. I'll keep ya posted, and show you any loot that comes into my possession!

Short news

Still in that numb mode. Got some things accomplished tho for my mom. She has her good moments and bad. She cries a lot when people call to send their condolences. Very hard on her. She's had SO MANY calls, her cell never stops ringing. My sister and I are trying to get so much settled and done up here while we can. We have already found so many condos/homes for her to decide on. We have a realtor meeting with us tomorrow to actually look at a few places. So we will see. I think she is going thru the motions, but won't really grieve until she is settled and alone. That's when it will sink in. I mean my sister and her husband and my niece, plus one of my brothers all will live within 15 to 40 minutes from her. She will have family around, trust me. And on the good side,.....today was officially my last day of probation. 18 months! Good god, it's finally over. That's the good news, and I'm glad there is some for once. I miss my husband, and kittehs. I miss them so much, but I know I need to be here for my mom, and that's all that matters right now.

Just numb

I'm at my sister's house in Fort Pierce,(FL) and we got here about 10:30pm tonight, and I'm just now settling in. I already miss home, Munky, and my husband. I'm not good away from home. And to make matters worse,.....I woke up this morning to an email on my cell from my mom saying that my stepdad passed away this morning at 2am. Unbelievable. I cried at the drop of a hat all damn day. I cried leaving Munky,....I cried leaving the house my mom shared with him for 15 yrs. , I cried when I drove away from my husband, as he drove home to our house. I've been a blubbering idiot all damn day. I don't have much else to say. I will post some pictures of the home we left in Key Largo, so many good memories. The last time I felt like a little kid anywhere since my dad died was there in Key Largo. Things change,.....but I'm NOT GOOD with change. Not at all. I'll write more tomorrow, when I'm not so muddled and numb. I'll miss you always Red. So will my mom.

I think too much

So today my husband and I went to a doctor about our shoulders, and mine was somewhat dislocated, and the muscles were turning it in (forward) and pulling on neck muscles, and cutting off my shoulder muscles and nerves causing pain and numbness, and joint pain, etc. I got some electro-therapy, and adjustments and I have to go back two more times and I should be good as new. Now my husband is a different story. He's going to have to have alot more therapy. ALOT. His pain is more severe, and serious. But the doc said there is some hope,...so a shoulder replacement is NOT the only option. (Thank goodness.) Good to hear and hope. So today was a productive day at least. I'm making a doctor appt. for an endocrinologist next. I hope I can find out anything more wrong with me. And I know I HAVE to get back to doing some sort of exercise. Anything at all. And I will in time. My probation will be officially over by August 24th, and that's one less thing for me to worry about. Alot less to worry about. What else, what else? The next few days I will be working 12 hour days until Sunday, and then Monday I will go to my mom's. And like I said I'm looking forward to getting to my sister's and getting her settled and looking for places. Take her mind off of 'things'. Stepdad not doing well at all. He barely recognizes my mom everyday when she visits him now. It's heartbreaking. It really is. Why does there have to be so much pain in life? I don't understand it. I want to take it all away from my mom,.....she's been thru so much in her life. (Not that anyone deserves it,....).......well I could think of a few who deserve it. I can think of ALOT who do,......unfortunately.

More ranting

I am OFF from work the next two days, and I couldn't be happier. Next week I will be leaving for my mom's and then bringing her up to my sister's house. I know it will be very hard for my mom leaving. I don't look forward to that part, but the part where we go and stay at my sister's,...THAT I'm looking forward to. I know it still won't be the best situation, but it will be somewhat fun, and the most important part will be that my mom won't be alone. She will have family around to lean on, and keep her busy. Tomorrow my husband and I go to a new doctor about our shoulder(s). I'm actually looking forward to finding out what the heck could be wrong with my shoulder,....I need some sorta relief, something, anything. Other than that, nothing else really new and exciting. The weather here has been dark and stormy everyday for about two weeks. I love it. Nothing I love more than being home when it rains, and getting under the covers with the kittehs, and watching TV or playing with them to take their mind off of being scared of the noise. (Altho Munky isn't scared of thunder, but Sugar definitely is. My lil babies.) Soooo,.......keeping up with the news, and all things techie. I think I've finally decided to get a Samsung Galaxy 10.1 tablet instead of an Ipad2. I've read and talked with so many 'computer' people, and all have said that the S.G. is the better thing to get for your money right now. The only thing I'm not thrilled with is that it doesn't support Skype, and I definitely want that for my mom and I. I'll have to look into it, and figure something out. I might even get a S.G. cellphone. I'm thinking tho still. I have to wait before I do this til my contract runs out with AT&T first. THEN, I'll be on it in a flash. Anywho,.......I'm still reeling from Sunday night's 'Breaking Bad',...and the news that the next season will be it's last. NOT HAPPY. I guess they want to go out on a high note being that ratings are the highest it's ever been, and viewers are glued to the show, and they are making critics very happy, so yeah, I guess going out a winner in all ways has alot to be said for it. I guess I'm greedy and I want it to go on for more time, that's all. I really connect with Jesse Pinkman on the show. I know that guy, my husband and I have been friends with people like him, and I wanna protect him/them and tell them it will all be okay,....but I'm not so sure,(just like in the show.) I'm very protective of people I'm friends with and like,...and don't get me started with the kittehs,....they are my children, and I would do ANYTHING to protect my lil babies. My husband calls me mama bear sometimes because of how I am. I read the paper and the horrible things that people do to kids and animals, and I'm repulsed. I can't even imagine those things, I would end up in prison if I caught someone doing something to ANY animal/kid like I read about. I would. I've already almost punched an irate, elderly man for almost running over a mother duck and her babies one day on my way to work. If I hadn't pulled my car over into his opposite lane, and blocked him(because I saw that he looked like he wasn't going to stop,) he would have ran them over. He got out of his car yelling at me, and I got out and grabbed him by the collar and told him to get the f away from me and the ducks, and he could go around the block the other way, cause I wasn't moving my car. He cussed and yelled at me some more,and said 'it's ONLY ducks, they are everywhere', and finally backed up and went another way to wherever the piss he was going. I was so close to punching him in the face, and I never thought I could be like that. I shouldn't have even put my hands on him truthfully, and I know that, but the thought of what he would've done is disgusting and inexcusable, and I probably would've beaten him severely,....man or no man, my adrenaline was too much and I just didn't care about anything but keeping those ducks safe. Yeah,....I was an hour late for work, and when I got there I broke down and cried. Called my husband, he calmed me down,...but still. I was so upset of what could've been, it makes me sick. People make me sick, and what they do. I have to go now and calm myself,...I get too fired up over this stuff. I need to just be alone with the kittehs to make it all go away, and make it all right again. Sorry to go off like that.

WHY do we have to work?

Saturday,*sigh*....and I have two more days of work, and I'm off for two days. Gawd. It feels like eternity. My laptop is acting up, and that makes me nervous. You never know when something will go wrong with computers,...one wrong move, and kapooie, your done. So,- went shopping yesterday,...I went to Macys and got some dresses just in case I go to my niece's wedding after all. I bought like six dresses, and I will try them all on, and return the one's that I don't like/don't fit. I had to be at work, so I had no time to try things on really. (Hey, I shop whenever possible.) Still saving for an Ipad. Can't wait to get my mitts on one. Looked at them at Sam's Club, and that just made me want one more. Altho,~ I've talked to a few people who are 'into' computers, and they all told me to get a Samsung Galaxy 10.1 tablet, it has alot more features and you can add space to it if needed unlike the Ipad. I did some research and came up with two cons of a Galaxy; it doesn't support Skype, and it doesn't have a USB connector thingy, altho you can buy an adaptor for it. So there,...I will see when I have that money together what I end up getting. Sooooo~ that's all the fun stuff here. I'm off to work in a few hours,-yipee. (Why can't we all not have to work? Why?)

My little opinions

I'm going to do something different and tell you some of my favorite things, since we all were talking about it where I work. It's fun to me to hear the difference in what makes people happy,(and what doesn't. Maybe I should have been a sociologist like my sister-in-law.) So here goes:

Love,.....
napping and sleeping,
rainy days,
Jamey Johnson and country music,
cowboy hats and boots,
red hair,
coffee any way possible,hot,cold, frozen,
high heels,
eBay, and any shopping,
goatees and glasses on men,
gray hair and blue eyes,
ANYTHING Canada/Canadian,
Krispy Kreme doughnuts,
chocolate bacon bars,(from WholeFoods)
Thanksgiving,
pedicures,
staying in hotel/motels,
family reunions,
Barbara Streisand anything,
ALL animals,(goes without saying really,...)
kitteh purrs,
Cadillacs,
and last but not least,
french language books, cds, anything!

Things I'm NOT FOND OF:

crude/foul language,(no cussing)
meat cooked well done,
mushrooms,(even the smell when they cook,)
mayo,sour cream, cream cheese, any cheese,
yogurt, and creamed anything,
unsupervised kids,
patchouli,
stitches, staples, and needles,
roaches, palmetto bugs,(I'm phobic about them,)
loud car radios,
cops,judges,lawyers, ins.companies,
doctors, surgeons,banks, and hospitals.
Oh, and Jersey Shore anything,-especially that Snooki thing.

That covers some of the stuff,...I'd rather think of the stuff I love,...I start thinking of the stuff I DON'T like and I go off on tangents. I get all fired-up and my husband has to calm me down. So yea,...this is just my opinions,.....

Almost there,....

It's Tuesday nite, and it's been a long, but mostly fun day thanks to my husband. Started the day with going to probation,....it's my second to last time going,(THANK YOU GOD.) Came home and took a llloooonnnggg nap with Munky. Got up and watched some news on TV,....feel asleep again while my husband napped with Munky. :) We both finally got up and went and walked around Sam's Club, and looked at everything; from Ipads, to jewelry, to cookbooks. It was nice, fun and relaxing. We genuinely had fun being silly, and looking at everything. We went and ate some Nathans hotdogs, and then got up and walked around some more. Ended up buying some king-size,Tempurpedic pillows, and some steak, and left. It's fun when we do stuff like that to me. We hardly ever do anything anymore, but when we do, we have lotsa fun, and laugh and giggle like little kids. Came home, and watched Zombieland for the gazillionth time. We love that movie. Munky and Stripe are outside fed and happy meowing at each other and being cute together. I really keep telling my husband that we should get another kitteh so Munky can have a playmate. She always tries to play with Sugar, and alotta times he just wants to eat and relax, but occasionally he will play with her, and they have a ton of fun. It's so adorable when they play. They play tag, and run from room to room, it's very entertaining to watch, and I do, - believe me. So yeah, it would be fun to have another kitteh for her to hang with and befriend. We'll see I guess. Getting ready for another week of work, and then I'm going down to Key Largo to pick-up my mom, and take her to my sister's house in Fort Pierce, and we will both stay there, and we will look for houses for her to buy or rent up there. I just want her to be comfortable and happy, and settled. I know she's not very happy, but she will be relieved when she gets settled. I'm kinda looking forward to seeing and staying at my sister's house with my mom. I know it's not the ideal situation, but I plan on making it as fun as possible for everyone, regardless. Why be depressing? We all already are, why make it worse,-right?