Make it all go away

I've been back to work for a week now, and I just can't deal with any amount of time I have to spend there. I feel like I'm wasting away. I don't know how people deal with it when they have two or even three jobs now-a-days. I just can't get back into the swing of things. I can't. I hate the whole thing. I hate getting up, (even if it is 1 or 2 in the afternoon!) and I hate the whole scheduling crap. Then you gotta hear it forever if someone doesn't get the schedule they want,....and the customers, the attitudes, the whole damn thing, I just wanna scream. I mean, I know I have an easy job,-trust me. I know. I just sometimes feel like I can't take another second of it,....like I will go crazy or something. One of my co-workers just got a second job,...they have two kids, and have to, to make ends meet. Can you believe it? So yeah. I'm back to hating life, hating my job, hating our little world here. Thank GOODNESS for my kittehs. They really do bring me back to life. They do. The cute little fur faces, the excitable eyes turning dark, running sideways at me playing,...all of it just makes my whole world light up. I so love my little furry kids. I want ten more. I really do. And someone came in today with their doberman pincher,...so perfect, so beautiful,.....she has been thru obedience training so she is really a calm, good girl. She prances next to her owner, and she puts her two front paws up on the desk and just licks my hands slowly. So sweet. Not all excited, not all bark-y, -just very very calm. She is the sweetest dog I have ever seen. It's a testament to the owner, because I always say, (AND IT'S THE TRUTH,) that a dog is only as good as an owner will let them be. So the more the owner spends time with him/her, and trains them, the better mannered and socialized they become, more calm, more confident. Ask any dog trainer, they will tell you. And very obviously, this owner cares enough to put alot of time and effort with this baby,....she loves him,...you can just see it. And I wish I had that,....I want a dog so bad. I would love for Munky and Sugar to have a doggie playmate. I've already seen Sugar with a dog, and he can and will hold his own, and Munky, well she would have to learn, but she would soon learn that they can all get along. She's a very good girl. SO~what else? Nothing new from eBay,....becuz my bank account is STILL screwed up,....thank you BOA, you guys royally suck. And someone I work with had their bank account thru BOA hacked into and they are going thru the exact same thing. Oh the joys of life,....all the stress, all the legalities, all the stupid appts.,.....wish I could blink my eyes and have it all just go away. I want to be back on vacation, without a schedule in sight.

Wit's end

Today was my first day back to work after 10 days off, and god, it was hard to get up. I don't think one day that I had off did I get up before 2pm. (It was wonderful,....oh so wonderful.) Some people may think it's crazy to be like that, but I really love to lay in bed, with the A/C nice and cold, and the kittehs jump in next to me, and I turn the TV on, (and the sound off,) and I can stay like that for the rest of my life and be pretty damn happy. Really. Honest. My husband thinks I'm crazy, but I love our bed, and I can stay in it for the rest of my life. (It is much better when the kittehs jump in too.) So,...at the tail-end of my banking fiasco,...I'm hoping by the end of this week, I will have a bank account, debit/credit card, and money again. And also, FINALLY,.......this past weekend we stayed at my mom's (in Key Largo,) and I FINALLY got our wedding pictures off my mom's computer. I went right to CVS today and got copies put on CDs, and I have them all on a USB flashdrive, and had copies made. I am so relieved now. Not having them made me crazy. Bothered me alot,....even my husband was surprised at all that I did so quickly. (When our legal fiasco happened, my sister-in-law was living at our beach condo,while her place was being remodeled, and when everything happened with us, she packed-up a bunch of stuff to make extra room for all of us to stay there together.) We HAD to, the SWAT team DEMOLISHED the house we lived in at the time,......so we all moved in together temporarily, and that's how we lost our wedding pictures,....(in case you were wondering.) So,....just one of many things that has been bothering me,........but not anymore NOW. Yay me. Just getting this done, has made me feel better, just a little. Any little thing will help me right now. Any little thing. Sometimes I feel like I just don't know what to do anymore. We can't travel, we can't do anything but just sit and wait for this whole damned, stupid-ass, clusterf*%# to end. It's really enough to make someone crazy, and put them at their wits end. Thank goodness I like to be home,...thank goodness, and ALWAYS thank God for my kittehs and husband,cuz they are the only things keeping me sane at this point REALLY. Sorry,-I guess I just had to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening.

Not so vacation-eey

I've had a nice time off from work these last few days. Very nice. It reminds me when I used to not work. I miss that. I've been cooking dinner every night, and it's fun just like it used to be when that was all I really had to do. Had a little mishap tho yesterday. I brought Sugar in the house from the back door, and I guess I didn't shut the door all the way. I was on the computer, (for a good hour,) and realized that I didn't hear them running around the house like I usually do. I went in the other room thinking they were lieing down in there, and walked down the hall and looked where the back door was and it was slightly open!!! I panicked and ran outside, went around the side of the house calling both there names,....went out to the front yard, nothing,.....came back around, and went to the other side of the house and there they were together, lieing in the grass, looking up into the palms, watching lizards. I about screamed with relief,...and poor Munky was so enthralled w/ looking at the lizards, she didn't even look up when I ran over to her and picked her up. I hurriedly put her in the house, and Sugar just sat staring at me like I was some crazy woman!!! ( I was.) The thought of her outside alone with him scared me all to hell. My husband came home right around then, and Sugar and I sat out back, and then he walked off, to go have fun somewhere else because clearly I blew their day grabbing Munky and putting her in. I came in and told my husband what had just happened and ended up breaking down crying by the end of the story. If I would've lost her,....couldn't find her, I would've never forgiven myself. Those few minutes when I didn't know where she was at,....scared me to death,...I felt like I lost my child, and she was outside all alone. (She only goes outside when I'm with her, and she's on a leash and harness.) I swear, all night I was so shaken, and upset. It took alot for my husband to calm me down. I was a wreck. Totally. So I learned a lesson that ended up okay. Boy,- I don't know how people do it when their child disappears. It's the most horrifying feeling I've ever felt. Funny how that brings you back to reality REAL QUICK. Put my little vacay in perspective,-that's for sure. Anyways, ~ going to see my mom on Friday. Looking foward to that. No other plans tho,...I love not do anything,...I must be the laziest person I know. Yup,.......

Now what?

Well, tonight starts my 10 day vacation from work, and let me just say, YEE-HAW!!! Yay baby! (I'm doing a happy dance like Chandler dancing on FRIENDS while my kittehs stare at me like I'm some sorta whacko!) Ten whole fun filled days of cleaning the house, organizing, and playing w/ my babies. (I'm actually looking foward to that last part,-other stuff,-NOT SO MUCH.) Anyways,~and to make things a little complicated,-my bank account is still frozen and I haven't told my husband yet, so therefore, I have absolutely no accessible money. Isn't that just wonderful? Oh yeah, he'll be real happy to hear that. Real happy. I'm just at my wits end with this. I guess tomorrow morning I'll be at the bank, closing my account, and starting all over with a new account, and then I'll have to do the whole registration thing with Paypal and eBay all over again. This sucks. I have two more handbags to get to complete all the ones I really want. AND, I'm missing so many good deals on there. It's making me a little crazy. Okay, ALOT crazy. OKAY, let's just drop it! Anyways,....I hope I can get myself up and outta bed, do some cardio and get some stuff done, (besides the bank.) I just don't know what to do about les fonds. I'll just play it by ear, and see what happens,.....shhhhh,.....I'll keep ya posted. (I'm just giddy over NO WORK mind you.)

I did go there

Ya know I'm the kinda person that's loyal to a fault. And I really am. To a fault. Once I get something in my head about someone,-whether it makes me like them or hate them,-that's it. I'll never change my mind, and I will forever like or dislike that person. I mean, no one, but no one can change my mind, and I will fight to the finish defending my idea of that person,(whether they be liked or hated by me.) I absolutely LOVE Mark McGuire when he was playing, (even before all that business with the home runs.) I think he single-handedly brought baseball back that year. I really do, and whether he did or didn't do any drugs means absolutely nothing to me, and I think he got a totally raw deal for all that nonsense. Baseball used him and then when they were done, threw him to the wolves, and that just pisses me off. I will ALWAYS and forever be a Mark M. fan. Same thing with Ken Caminiti. The guy had outside problems, with drugs, with women, with himself. He still worked-out, kept himself in shape, played very hard baseball for the Padres,(when he was alive,) and people still dismissed everything he ever did,....that made me steam. People make mistakes, people are people, no one is perfect, and neither are their careers, but at least acknowledge what he did accomplish and what he does bring to the table,(team.) Not to mention the women went nuts for him. He was unbelievable gorgeous. Then I have to mention how much I DISLIKE the Red Wings and the Yankees. You can just put those two teams on the moon and I won't miss them one damn bit. Mind you I have total respect and like Steve Yzerman,(was the captain of the Red Wings,) and A-Rod,(from the despicable Yankees.) I can't deny what they have done, what they contributed, and how great and talented they are/were. Personally Steve Yzerman could do no wrong with me except for being a Red Wing,.....and A-Rod I have personally met and was in contact with him before he became big-time. (He used to come in where I bartended and try to get served alcohol when he was underage, and later on when my husband and I owned a gym, he would come in and workout,-not to mention The Boys and Girls Club was one block from our gym, and he was basically there ALL THE TIME. He was always a very nice, polite, hardworking, very giving guy. Not stuck-up at all. He was adorable and extremely good-looking.) So what. I still HATE the Yankees, but NOT A-Rod. I still HATE the Red Wings but NOT Stevie Y. Never. I HATE anyone who drives: a Hummer, any kinda Porsche, and Corvettes. Anyone who drives one of those cars is seriously lacking something that they feel they have to make up for. Something. And you will NEVER change my mind! Never! Yea, I said that. I did. So what. And I really don't know what the big deal is with Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise, Russell Brand, Kathy Griffin, Snooki, Speidi, and I'm sure I'm leaving quite a few out that I can't think of right now off the top of my head. All of THEM could fall off the side of the earth and I wouldn't miss them for one second. Not one. Believe me, I know that I'm talking out both sides of my mouth,(as they say.) I know that, but I'm aloud my opinions, right? Oh, and let me add Steve Segal, Jean-Claude van Dame, and Mel Gibson. Anyone who can hit a woman for ANY reason, is NOT good in my book. EVER. EVER! Walk away,....just walk away,-like your mother taught you,(hopefully.) Walk. Away. And please, don't even get me started with these so-called 'reality stars' things. Uck. I don't even want to waste my time to even think, let alone write about them. Please. They don't deserve one second of my thought or time. NOT ONE,-so I won't.

Is this really me?

It's Sunday, and I have today and tomorrow off. THAT makes me happy. Made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner tonight. Thinking about going to the movies,....Munky is trying to convince me otherwise. (She wants to go outside for a walk in the worst way. It's been so rainy here tho, I won't take her.) Besides,....last time we went out she caught a baby frog,(in her mouth,) and you shoulda seen me trying to get it out without hurting the little guy. I gave Munky a 30 minute speech about how frogs are good to have in our yard,(like she can really understand me! It made ME feel better.) At least the little guy hopped away,(maybe a little shaken,-but alive.) I just can't reward her for trying to kill our little frenchies.(That's what I call frogs.) So yeah, I haven't taken her outside since. I was too traumitized. What else,....I somehow convinced Paypal to let my pymt. go thru for that Fendi bag at least, so NO negative feedback. I'm glad for that at least, but my bank account is still frozen, and hacked into, and there is nothing I can do about it short of changing banks, which I guess I will have to do now. This is just crazy that I can't get to my own money because of all the hacking into my bank account. Just frustrating. VERY frustrating in fact,...but I know there is no sense in getting aggravated because it will accomplish nothing at all! Right? Right. I've been looking at YouTube for instructional videos on how to do my hair in a high ponytail with the bump in it. Nothing I try works,....I can never get that JessicaSimpson/JenniferLopez/RachelBilson ponytail look, and I love that look. Why do some things come so easy to some and so hard to others? (And I certainly don't just mean hair and make-up either.) Even myself, I know to the outsider I look like I have the dream life, (for the exception of working,).....but it seems like it all is so hard, and when you really need something to go easy and right, it doesn't, believe me! Not for us at least. Maybe after all these legalities are over and done with, THEN things will be more idyllic for us and me,......but until then,-NOT A CHANCE,....no matter how many designer bags I get to buy. I just don't know about this world. So many things I just don't understand, or agree with. I hate that there is nothing I can do to make a difference, I can try and try,....but nothing changes anything. On Facebook Saturday and found out that one of the nicest guys that I worked with in the Grove when I bartended passed away last week. He had cancer,...and apparently fought until the very end. Hardly anyone knew from the looks of his FB page. Sad. Very sad, and I will never understand it. Never. Just makes me more angry and bitter, and hateful. Isn't that horrible? I'm turning into 'one of those people.' I really am. It scares me, when I try to look at myself from the outside. And as an adult. I never wanted to be this kind of person. Never, but now I am. I guess I am. Am I really? Oh ick. I'm hating the person I've become.