What the heck is next

I'm having lotsa problems w/ my laptop and all. So if you don't see me on here it's only 'cause of the computer. Maybe it's time for a new one. I say that to my husband and he laughs and says 'No way!' He is TOTALLY computer illiterate. No concept. None. Until now,....when he finds out he can play online poker AND win real money. All of a sudden he's interested. So now I say he can have this laptop and I can get a new one, being that all he wants to do is just play poker. I've even looked around and have my eye on one already. A new HP mini laptop. I love the Ipad, but I refuse to buy something new like that in the first two years,...until they get all the kinks out. I LOVE them tho. I can't even imagine being able to carry something like that around w/ you, and having it so small and acessable to everything. I even saw on CNN news a few weeks ago that someone actually got one of their fingers pulled off, (literally) because someone grabbed his Ipad out of his hand and wouldn't let go, and he yanked the poor guys finger off. What the hell is this world coming to? Yep. Isn't that nice? For a god-bless-ed high tech toy. Absolutely ridiculous. (THATS why I HATE people.) Yep. That's me. And no one makes me think otherwise,....everyday it gets reinforced,-BELIEVE ME. Every.Single.Day.

My neurotic ways

Today was a good day. I had off from work, and magically disappeared off to TJMaxx, and then off to the mall. (My holy-ground.)Shopped for 6 straight hours! It was wonderful. I work tomorrow from 9am to 4pm, and hopefully then I'm going to drag my SIL, or husband to a fundraiser for my favorite local, no-kill cat shelter.They gave Munky her first shots, first physical, and spayed her. The were very hands-on, and even 'babied' me when I cried leaving her for the first time to get all that done. (Yes, she IS one of my two kids.) I adore her, and hate leaving her for any amount of time. Put more things up for sale on eBay,.....which I LOVE doing. I'm having problems again w/ my computer, NOT TO MENTION that last week my All-in-one printer broke. Great. I love when that happens. When it rains it pours. Which by the way is why I haven't been able to take Munky out for the third night in a row. It just won't stop raining. I love the rain, but not when I have to drive to my mom's two hours away, and have to get up and go to work, and,....can't take my little peanut out for her walk. Not fair at all. So,-I'm off the hook until the end of June. (Next court date.) I hope there can be some sort of conclusion to all this for me. Something. I don't even care anymore about being innocent,...I just want it over. OVER. I feel like I've been in limbo for the last two and a half years, with all this crap going on. I want it over, so we can get on with our lives once and for all. PLEASE. I read these two other blogs, that thankfully, EVERYTIME I read them, I pee my pants laughing. Stop by and read 'em,....they are hysterical.(Jennsylvania, and First Class to Hell.) OMG, I've never laughed so hard in my life. It helps keeping me sane. What else have I been doing? Shopping today I bought some INC dresses for court,(being that since all this has happened, I've gained 30 lbs., and can't fit into anything anymore,-hence the buying and selling, eBaying,...) At least that's my excuse. I NEED them to look presentable, and somewhat okay, -even tho I'm not after every court appearance. It takes me longer and longer to recoup after every court date. It's been 6 days from my last one, and I'm just now feeling normal again. I make myself forget about it until the week of. Then I'm just a neurotic mess. Can't sleep, can't eat, can't do anything literally. I make all these big mistakes at work,....it's just very demeaning, and just plays some serious games with my head. So on to bigger and better things,...or at least until June. Be back soon.

Kitteh soap opera

Went to court this morning, -another continuence. Jeez. This. Sucks. I go thru hell the entire week leading up to going. A new prosecutor, a new judge,....I've been told because so many of them have been "getting in trouble". How nice. Maybe they will know what it's like to be judged unfairly too one day. I feel NO PITY for them. So,....get to go into work late,....I feel like I've been thru the ringer tho. So,...still buying and selling on eBay,....I couldn't live w/out it!!! Having plenty of kitteh adventures. 'Stripe', a new, older kitty on the block has been visiting alot lately,...I think he has a little crush on my Munky. We also have the 'scared-of-everyone-but-my-owners' kitteh from across the street named Mocha that likes to visit too. Munky seems to be quite a catch. I think she only has eyes for my Sugar tho. Seemingly so, he is the most beautiful kitteh I've ever seen. ALL kittehs ARE BEAUTIFUL to me, I really do love them ALL, but I've never had so many people compliment as they do w/ him,(even tho he is very cranky.) The long white fur, the odd eyes,(one light blue, one light green,) the perfect pink nose, he really is gorgeous,(and he knows it!) So yeah, all sorts of kitteh adventures going on here. I can deal w/ that tho. As the kitteh yard turns,.....

My true character

Tell me I'm not over-emotional when I get so worked up over a TV show? Watching Jesse on 'Breaking Bad' listening to Jane's message on his cellphone over and over just puts me in a emotional ringer. I get so upset and it just breaks my heart. Jesse's character on that show makes me feel so protective over him. He has such a good heart, and just makes such bad decisions w/ huge consequences. If you watch the show, you know what I mean. I've known so many friends like Jesse, it feels like I'm reliving my past sometimes. Don't get me wrong,...I don't do drugs, nor have I ever in that capacity,(that's for sure!) but I've been around people who have, and it always ends the same. Horrible. That's all I can say. When you've worked in a bar for as long as I have, you can't help but end up being around some people like that, with and without your knowledge. Believe me,....sometimes you'd never know. There were times I found out that some of the most normal-seeming people were the worst druggies. It really made me shut down my capacity to make friends when I finally left bartending. I've been ripped off numerous times, my friendship taken advantage of, and just let down so many times I've lost count. I ALWAYS question myself w/ anyone and everyone now. I KNOW I'm not a good judge of character. Like Oprah says,'always listen when someone shows you who they are.' Couldn't be a better saying and lesson for everyone. I say it to myself everyday. I know I sound corny, but that saying has really helped. ANYWAYS~watch 'Breaking Bad', it's an awesome show,....UNBELIEVABLE acting, GREAT writing, awesome, heartwrenching characters,.....it just hits home with me,-that's all I can say.

A Weak Constitution

I just got in from taking Munky for her nightly walk around our yard. She is so cute w/ her curiosity of flying bugs, to lizards, to the wind blowing. She is adorable. And Sugar met us out tonight. He came from the neighbors backyard and started running around. Munky's little red harness and leash are so cute on her. I can spot her in the dark at least w/ that on. Sometimes she gets lost in the brush chasing Lord knows what, and I let go of her leash and then I spot it moving and find her in an instant. Besides, w/ Sugar around she won't get far w/out him checking on what she's doing. Work is a real pain in the ass right now. (Sorry for the language.) Our GM fell and hurt his knee bad enough for him to need surgery, so he will be out for about 8 weeks. Now we are really on a skeleton crew. I was just about to make an appt. for my laser removal of one of two tatoos I'm having taken off my back, -but now I for sure have to wait. I can't take any time off whatsoever til our mgr. gets back. Yeah,...it's hell getting them taken off. I was young and stupid,(18) and just had to have them, and they meant absolutely nothing,.....I do have one other one on my calf,...but that was for my now husband who at the time I thought wasn't going to end up in my life,....so even that one was a big risk,....but it paid off, and look at us now,....18 years later, still happy together,-w/ each other, (just not w/ our current legal predicament.) So yeah,....don't get tatoos, unless it really, really means something to you,....for awhile,...like more than a year,....(I could go on and on.) There is a lady who has been coming in to work, (a customer) and ordering from us, and she has this,....I don't know what it is in her arm. Like a metal rod or something,...w/ like a rod across the top, like it's bolted into her skin. It actually looks like a drawer pull bolted into her arm. I don't know what she did to her arm, but it looks excrutiating, and I want to toss my cookies everytime I see her and it. I try not to look at it, but it's one of those things that you can't help staring at because it's so foreign and painful looking. And I'm not kidding when I say I get nauseous at the site of it. I had to have someone help her this time when she came in because I actually heaved. I have a very weak stomach for anything like that. ( I have no idea how I ever got tatoos and piercings,...) NO IDEA. Maybe one time when she comes in I will ask her what exactly she did to her arm,....because this thing looks pretty serious. So,....my fun exciting stories. Yeah,....I need more kittehs, don't I? My little loves,.....something to keep me from thinking of that damn drawer pull in her arm,....that poor woman,.....my poor stomach,.......

Hanging in there

Hope ya'll had a Happy Easter. I had to work and I WAS NOT happy about it. Not at all. But it's over, and I'm over it. Sorta. The weather here has been warm and breezy w/out alot of humidity, which is what kills me here. I really wonder if I could make it thru the cold winters up north. Anything is better than the suffocating heat in the summer here. Everyone says I'm crazy, but I guess I need to find out for myself. Nothing really new here w/ me,....missing my mom,....I wanted to spend Easter w/ her, but,....you know. So, Mother's Day is coming,....and the anniversary of my dad's death is coming up and I WILL be there for my mom. Along w/ my husband, and SIL, (sis-in-law) my mom is the most important person in my life. I wish I could be there everyday for her. It makes me feel guilty everyday that I'm not. So much in life that is beyond our control sometimes. And next week I have another court date in the nightmare of my life,......we will see,.....all this crap, I want it over. I don't even care whether it's fair, or not, I just want it over. It has taken such a toll on us both in our life. We are barely keeping it together to function normally,.....barely. Pay bills, clean, take care of the pool, yard work,.....keeping track of everyday things,.....almost impossible. How do people live when something like this happens? I mean how do they really get thru it? Because all I want to do is sleep away everything until it just goes away. Like I always say,...thank you God for giving me my husband and kittehs.