A Week In My Life

Tonight I'm sitting here watching the CMA Music Festival on TV waiting to see Jamey Johnson. I did cardio on the treadmill for 40 minutes, put away a bunch of laundry, and waiting for my husband to come home from the gym. I did go to the gym all last week, and I took Sun. and Mon.(today) off. I hate getting up in the morning, but I'm loving how I feel afterwards. I wonder why I waited so long, because I miss how great it makes me feel. (Not to mention the side benefit of looking better.) This past year was the first time in literally 20 years that I have ever taken any amount of time like this off from weight-training. I've missed it more than you know. Maybe now I will lose some weight, and fit back into clothes again. I hate being only 5foot tall,(short,) because 5lbs. looks like 20! Imagine what 30 looks like then? Yep. I will take it off. Slow and steady. Anyways,.....sat around the house all day today really. Just hanging with my husband and Munky. Sugar has been staying at our neighbor's house. He is being anti-social to us because of Munky I think. It's breaking my heart. I've tried putting Munky in her room while he is here, but he still wants to leave,.....he still hisses furiously at me when I open the door for him to go outside. I have tried everything. I don't know what else to do. (If anyone has any suggestions, or things to try, let me know. I will do anything.) SO,....I went to the mall last week and found the cutest, most comfortable Jessica Simpson shoes. You really would never guess how comfortable they are for such a high heel. (I was very impressed.) And I just got the best deal on Ebay; I got a John Hardy coil bracelet for a little less than $300!!! That's an unbelievable deal if you know the bracelet I'm talking about. Really. I was happy with my deal! (It retails for $695!!!) I'm putting up a Michael Kors outfit I had to have that I saw in magazine, that I can't fit into now. The dress is a size 2, makes me sad. It still has tags on it even. Even had to have the shoes. Don't ask. Thank god for Ebay, -thats all I have to say! Nothing else new really. Things at work are going well,...I'm just working alot. I guess I really should be thankful, and I am,.....but I've been feeling really low lately and I'm not sure why. I've been looking at real estate again in Canada. Sooner or later it's gonna happen. We can't get around it legally,....so, I rather do it on our terms, instead of another horrible trauma in our lives again. Our terms, our life, - ya know? I really feel very unfinished right now. I thought a job would really help tie up all my loose ends, and it hasn't. I wonder if I should go back to school. I don't know what to do anymore with myself. I mean, it's not like I have a whole lot of time with working the kinda hours I do, and now with getting back in the gym, I feel like I have NO TIME to do anything else. Maybe it's just all the drama last week with all the Kennedy stuff. I feel like it was my own family member. I so loved everything about the Kennedys. I always swore if I ever had a child, I would name him or her Kennedy. Sounds ridiculous I know, but it's very true, I would have. Some people understand that kinda stuff, and others just don't get it. When I watched the prosession, I knew I wasn't the only one to feel like I did. I was so glad people responded the way they did. So much love and feeling for him, and that family, but thats just me and how I feel right now. Thats my little week in my little life.

I Am SO HEARTBROKEN

I'm sorry again, I haven't written. Believe it or not, I have been so upset and beside myself with the passing of Ted Kennedy, I can't see straight. I grew-up in an Itallian/Portuguese Catholic family from New York, and let me tell you,....the Kennedys were royalty in our household. My mother could say no wrong about them. Growing up, I read and watched absolutely everything I could get my hands on about any of them. Yes I know, they were far from perfect, and had ALOT of indiscretions, but I still love them all down to their little toes. They can do no wrong, and everything they do and did was perfect and/or rationed away in my little head. The passing of Ted Kennedy is a huge era gone forever. I still haven't gotten over John-John being gone. It's just not possible one family can go thru so much. I've always wondered if for some unexplainable reason that the family was cursed. Was it because of the father running booze?, buying them into politics? or just stepping over and on everyone to get his kids where he wanted them? I mean, think about it,.....wouldn't any parent really do anything for their kids? Am I rationalizing? or when you really think about it, and you're honest with yourself, wouldn't you do just about anything for your children? So what made the father so bad then? So many questions forever unanswered. So much we will never really know. How I would still love to be apart of such a historied family. Could you imagine being "a Kennedy"? Am I being stupid and immature? I just really wonder what it would be like to be a part of that dynasty,.....cursed,flawed and all. I'd take it. I'm just so heartbroken, I can't tell you. Heartbroken,.......forever.

I'm so boring

I can never seem to please everyone, no matter how hard I try or want to. Yesterday was my sister-in-law's birthday, and I wanted to do so much, and really didn't get to. Some people just love when you make a big deal about them,....but they won't say it, ya know? Well, my husband hates all that fussy stuff about birthdays, presents, cake, and making a big to-do about it all, so he thinks everyone else is that way too. I try to explain that sometimes it's nice to have someone fuss over you, and make a big deal about your birthday and all. I mean it's the one day a year that you can have that's all your's to call your own and just plain have thing's all your way. Right? I try to stretch my birthday out as long as possible, believe me. So, we ended up getting some filet mignons, cherrystone clams, (we wanted Ipswich ones, but they were out.) I had thankfully gotten her some gifts earlier in the month,...so I only got her two things, but it was better than nothing. I found this crystal figure of the Chrysler building, (which is her favorite,) in TJ.Maxx, and then I found this cool, vintage, pewter, handmade bracelet made by Lysguard, (the furniture maker?) Very nice piece that bracelet ended up being. My husband loved it when I showed him, and my sister-in-law did too. It was really "her" if you know what I mean. So all in all the evening ended up going well, and lotsa fun was had. She even showed us this beautiful apartment upstairs from hers that is in foreclosure, that I would LOVE for us to buy and live at. I love the idea of having a little family compound. I mean, we would all need our space, but I wish we could buy it and live there. Funny, my brother and his best friend both moved to Georgia and got on the same Fire Dept. there,(because it was impossible down here in South Florida at the time if you weren't a minority.) They ended up buying houses next door to each other, and they were both best men at each others weddings. They don't live next door to each other anymore, but just a few blocks from each other. Now I love the idea of that,....I wish all my family could live in the same neighborhood. Since I was a little kid, I always loved the idea of family all around. Everyone getting together every weekend, and on holidays, birthdays, special occassions. I miss that so much. I have a group of high school friends who all grew-up together and all lived and moved together from neighborhood to neighborhood. They all live in Georgia now too. There were five of them and they all live in the same neighborhood, and their business' all intertwine. It's nice. I wish I had stayed close to them all. Oh well,.....I guess I make do with what I have,.....my neighbors here that I adore, and their beautiful kids, and my two kittys, and the little life we have carved out here for now. Who knows tho where we will end up, or where life will bring us. I just know I will always have my husband and kittys. That means more than anything to me.

Sorry guys. I've been a little under the weather AND working like an animal. On top of that, now we are trying to rent out our condo on the beach, and getting all that together is a giant hassle in itself. People want to know why they can't look at the place immediately when they call. Well people, it's called a job, and life, and you're gonna have to work around me or else, ya know? People can be so pushy. If they can't see it like yesterday, they get all cranky. I always try to schedule it as easy as I can, but it's hard when I'm working almost 50 hours a week, and regular life stuff too. Oh well, I will just have to deal. I haven't even been on Ebay, or the computer. (Now you know I've definitely been busy, and not feeling well.) On the brighter side,....today was my first day back at the gym since June 19th, 2008. Yep,...I finally started. I can't for the life of me wonder why I didn't do it sooner. I guess I just had to work thru some stuff in my little head, and get thru it all. So I'm back finally and I will keep you posted on my weight training. I love how it makes me feel. I look at pictures of me 5 years ago even, and I looked so in shape, I had no idea. So many people have been so kind tho with my weight gain. People don't really understand when you tell them you have put on 35 lbs. and to someone who is only 5-foot short, it shows. They can say all the nice things they want, but I know what I used to look like and I know what I look like now, and there is no comparison. None. And I don't mean that conceited one bit, I just know how much better I was then, that's all. And then I have the situation of my husband who lent his ex-wife money when we were split up to only find out that she doesn't ever plan on paying him back. It was alot of money too. He said the only thing she kept asking about was us being married, and if he was still interested in coming back to her. People,....this is a very misguided, mean, lonely woman, who will stop at nothing to get him back in her life, and this is almost 19 years later! Move on you stupid, depressing thing! I am livid that she has the nerve to make him pay for something that she had no intention of paying back, and use him being married to me against him. She even has a child by someone, but said she would leave him (her baby daddy,)if he(MY husband) wanted to get back with her. Is she insane?!? Oh yes, just what he wants,....back into a family that gets into fistfights at the dinner table, has a truckers mouth, and all four sister's fight like cats and dogs, but say they love each other to no end. They are the ultimate whacked-out family. Family shouldn't even describe them. Thank god they are living in New York,.......and not down here anymore.(Fort Lauderdale, Fl.) I would lose my mind if she were anywhere near my husband and I. He is so shocked, and wondered what ever made him think anything of her to marry her in the first place. So much more I could say, but I think I will leave that for another time. Just Munky and I sitting here enjoying that quiet. I have to work all day tomorrow,.....11am to 9pm. Oh so fun to look foward to. I'll leave it at that,.....and when I can wrap my head around more of this ex-wife business, I'll explain more. (Part 2 tomorrow,...how's that?)

A regular working day

Worked all day today and some overtime even, and I came home, and my husband was getting ready to go to the casino. He is trying so hard to really learn how to play poker in the big leagues. He wants to become a professional poker player so bad. He's actually picking it up quite fast,(as he has done with everything his entire life,) and he's becoming quite good. He's been winning alot of money. He keeps it all in a log too, which is actually quite smart. We will see how this all plays out. He's got the time and money, and if it makes him happy, I'm all for it. So I came home from work, and Sugar always greats me in the front yard,...I play, and run around the front yard with him,(actually until he's done with me, and gets up on my car to watch his turf for the rest of the night.) Then I get in the house, and Munky usually runs right to me showing how happy she is to see me. I pet and play with her for about 10 minutes, and then I usually change clothes, watch my husband get ready to go, and I clean Munky's room, and feed her, which makes her very happy. She runs around all excitedly, and loves to show off on the now defunct ab-roller,(believe it or not, my husband STILL has abs.) Munky does gymnastics on it, and I laugh out loud at her, which makes her show off even more! She is too cute. My husband usually leaves, I make a snack, watch some Sex and the City and then sit down in the dining room, and Munky lays on the table right next to my laptop, and I write this, or I get on Ebay. Either one. That's my night. I usually start getting ready for bed around 2 a.m. and go to sleep on the couch with Munky,(she's not aloud in our bedroom YET, until she can get along with Sugar. That's HIS only place in the house that is all his. ) So instead of shutting her out and going to bed in the bdrm. I sleep on the couch in our front living room, and she snuggles right up to my legs. What a sweet little thing she is. My husband usually comes home around 8 or 9 a.m. and tells me all the stories about the people he met, or played against, and/or beat, or beat him. Funny stories tho, some of them. I go back to bed, and then I'm up and ready for the day around noon, and go to work around 3 p.m. So there you go. A day in my little life. Whoop-de-doo. Aren't you glad you know all that?

What made me who I am today somehow

Isn't it funny how certain movies really hit home? Have you ever watched a movie and have it change you forever? Alot of movies did that for me when I was a kid. I adored watching Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin movies, and Abbott and Costello. I laughed and laughed. I loved watching old Barbara Streisand movies, like "Funny Girl", "On a Clear Day", and "What's Up Doc?",....but the movie that really changed me as a kid was "The Wizard of Oz",.....believe it or not I fell in love with those red shoes, and to this day, have a very open wallet for shoes. I can't get enough. The next movie that really stands out with me was "The Sound of Music". Corny, I know, but I wanted to marry Christopher Plummer after seeing him as Capt.Von Trapp,- as a little kid. Then very easily I can remember in order the movies that made the biggest impression on me; "Rocky",(I saw it 13 times in the movie theatre! Hey,-that was alot of allowance money for an 11-year-old,) and for some odd reason, but I remember it to this day,...a movie I saw called "Aloha Bobby and Rose". I really remember the song 'Benny and the Jets' in it, and for some reason I think it didn't have a happy ending like all other movies I had seen, and that really shocked me. After that movie, I really realized at that young age that things don't always work out the way you hoped.(Obviously I had no concept as to what extent that could be in life.) I cried everytime I heard 'Benny and the Jets' after that for like a month. It just really shocked me. (I really was a very sheltered child,-what with being the youngest out of five, and a little girl, AND being very sickly,-in-and-out of hospitals all the time.) So yeah, I was very protected from alot of realities.Then came 'The Way We Were', and 'A Star Is Born', and both those movies made me think of how much it hurt to lose someone. It scared me to death. It made me so shaky that I became very dependent on having boyfriends, and being EXTREMELY NEEDY. The next movie that bowled me over was 'The Professional' with Jean Russo, and Natalie Portman,....who I dearly love them both to this day. The movie moved me like no other. I didn't go to alot of movies or watch alot of TV, I always listened to music, even as a little kid. I was kinda weird, I guess. Very much a loner, in my room I would lay on my pink, faux-fur rug, and play my 45's. My first big crush believe it or not was Elton John. After hearing 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road' I was hooked on him forever. To this day even, he can do no wrong with me. (Not to mention I loved english accents.) Again to this day that is my all-time favorite album,.....my very first, and I bought it all on my own with my allowance money once again.This is how unknowing I was as a kid,...I can remember being in the car with my friend Jackie, and my mom taking us to the grocery store with her, and we didn't want to go in, we wanted to stay in the car and listen to the radio, and they announced on the radio that Sonny and Cher were getting a divorce and I started to cry, because I thought it was like the end of the world! I couldn't fathom them NOT being together. My mom came back and asked me what was wrong, and I told her, and she had to explain alotta things to me that I didn't want to hear or know about in my little life. I really thought everyone was happy. No bad endings for anyone. SO,..........the next big movie for me after that was "Gladiator", and I swear, I don't know how I never had heard of it, or Russell Crowe at the time, but that came outta left field, and knocked me right over. No movie evoked the emotion in me like that one. (And I guess it didn't help that in that movie, R.Crowe looked exactly like my husband, and I didn't even put it together until way later.) The writing, and lines in that movie so connected with my husband and I, it is definitely my ALL TIME FAVORITE MOVIE. Watching the ending of that,(SPOILER ALERT, in case somehow you haven't seen it), but I just can't watch it over and over. That's the only thing,.....I cannot watch him die, it's honestly like watching my husband die a million deaths, and I get very emotional and choked up. I literally blubber, and sob. Hits me where it hurts the most. So yeah,....that somewhat shaped my little mind in my life. What about everyone else's?

Okay, maybe I need help

Okay,....so Sunday I went to do some errands, like go to the grocery store, pick-up some kitty stuff, and then to go get batteries put in two of our watches. So I ended up going to do the watch battery thing first 'cause it was (conviently) at the mall. I went to the mall just to get batteries put in two watches, and ended up buying 2 pairs of shoes (on sale) at Macys,one pair at Bakers,(on sale),one pair at Nine West,(regular price,) two Gap sweaters,(on sale,)Fancy Love perfume (by Jessica Simpson that smells SO GOOD,) and 1 bottle of Essie nail polish I had to have. This is all in less than an hour it took to wait to put the batteries in the watches!!!Then I went grocery shopping with a little skip in my step. Happy as a little clam, I went on to get the kitty stuff, and I was done. Came home and went thru all my loot once my husband left to go play Poker with his buddies down the street. Is there something wrong with me or what?

I Can't Help Myself

Isn't it funny how when you get on Ebay, or Amazon, and you're looking at 'stuff', you find things that you just gotta have, but you really don't need?,....and not sure why you want it to begin with? I mean really. I get on both those websites, and there is no stopping me. (And I am not kidding.) I have bought all sorts of stuff,.....some of my BEST deals I've gotten was on Ebay.( I got a $2000 Chanel purse for $500!!! Not kidding. I even took it to the Chanel store in Boca Town Center and had the lady look at it to make double sure it was 'authentic'. It was.) IT'S A GORGEOUS BAG. How lucky am I? I haven't even been able to wear it yet. Anyways,....now I just found an Ellen Allard Tracy, navy, sequin jacket that I seem to HAVE to have. Yep. Gotta have it. I keep asking myself tho,..."where will I wear it?" and "when will I wear it?" I also got these great Samuel B. aquamarine earrings for like next to nothing. I've gotten so many things on Ebay I've lost count. I know, I know,....you probably think I'm throwing my money away, but I love the hunt, I love the bidding, and I love the win! I just can't help it,....I admit it,......I am definitely addicted to it. I absolutely canNOT get on Ebay,....it's like an obsession. It's the only thing besides my kitties that makes me totally happy, and makes me forget any (and all) my problems. (Except for going shopping at the mall myself.) I feel like I'm in another world when I shop,-isn't that scary? My husband has only been to the mall with me less than a handfull of times, and I'll never forget him saying to me,....."you turn into a different person." He couldn't believe it. (And neither could I.) I realized about myself that I have a very real addiction. I know it. I've fought threw being unable to drive alone, being unable to be home alone,(or by myself at all,) and being unable to live alone. I've conquered them all so far. I think I can eventually do this too. I think,....but I'm not sure why. So why?

My little man

I had a very unsettling day. My kitty Sugar came home with a big, ole, bloody hole in the back of his neck, and I about went into convulsions I was so damn upset. My husband was so good tho,....he went and got the Bactine and sprayed some on a paper towel, and pat it on Sugar's neck. I was so upset I started to cry. (Especially on a pure white kitty the blood looked so icky, and red.) We kinda figured out that its from him trying to go under our fence in the backyard to our neighbors house, (his original owner who left him,) and he's gotten so big now,(NOT fat tho,) that he can't slide under the fence like he used to when he was just a wee little thing. (He was so beautiful and perfect. How anyone in their right mind could ever leave this beautiful sweet kitty behind just baffles me to this day. I will NEVER understand.) So we baby-ed him, and we both sat with him, and he ended up going in our bedroom and going to sleep on our bed. (I don't think he was feeling well.) I even called into work late a couple hours because I wanted to sit with him. Broke my heart. I couldn't even think straight all day at work when I finally did get there. And to get even more kitty-ish, I took a little break at work and walked outside, and lo and behold, I saw a little Munky-twin run into the bushes. I tried to coax him/her out, but he/she were having none of it, and just disappeared. I was outside lookin' for almost 45 mins. before I realized I was at work and had to get back! That would have been so nice if Munky could've had a little brother or sister to grow-up with. I'll keep trying tho. Also,....just so you all don't think we are nutso,....as soon as Munky and Sugar can cohabitate peacefully and comfortably, we will make Sugar be an indoor kitty. No more outside stuff. I can't take it. Every single day I worry like a motherhen when I let him out. (Thank god all the neighbors here call us when they see him on a block too far away or something.) I freak out. You don't know how many times my husband and I have gotten in our cars and rode around looking for him,......the good thing tho, is he knows the sound of our cars, and he will run to us if he hears us calling him. But no more outside. (I know,-hey,-I didn't make him like this,....our former neighbor did. Can you imagine letting out a 10 month old kitten that looked like he does? Did she just think he knew how to be safe and take care of himself? And that no one would wanna grab him?! Are you kidding me?SORRY, ANY kitty for that matter!) I guess I kinda should be happy,.....we would've never met him if she hadn't let him out, right? He is one of the few loves of my life,....and thats no lie. No lie at all. (When we had to live at our condo, and Sugar was here, I came here EVERYDAY, and cried when I had to leave. I mean cried my eyes out,....I remember the first night I had to leave, and I cried so bad, I thought I was gonna die. I really did.) That six months aged my husband and I about 10 years, and I am not kidding at all one bit. So,...that's how my day started. How was ya'lls?

Oh no you didn't

I wish people would just sit back and look at things from other points of view. Some people have no idea of people or things going on around them and it makes me mad and very sad. No awareness. Do you think that homeless man wants to be like that? Do you think that overweight person wants to look or be like that? Don't you think everyone wants to dress in beautiful clothes and look great all the time? Well, think about it, before you look down your nose at someone, or dismiss them as not worth your time, or don't look the 'right' way, therefore not worth being nice to. I am so sick of people thinking they can just dismiss someone if they aren't up to their standards. Who the hell do they think they are? Judge and jury? I was in the store the other day when someone started to be disrespectful to someone standing in line in front of them, and I just HAD to say something,......and I did,....and they were so surprised I had a comeback and more for them,....they didn't know what to do,(I'll spare you the stupid details,) but they actually put their stuff down and walked out of the store. I had a BIG OLE smile on my face the rest of the day. That poor person just looked at me thankfully,......
...........why should I even have to do that tho? Why make me the bad guy? I mean I really understand sometimes when people say, "don't make me be a jerk",.....think about what has led up to that. I just had to get this off my chest, and I feel better now. But please think before you are dismissing, disrespecting, or taking advantage of someone or a situation. Really now,....because you know the saying, and I believe it wholeheartedly,...."what comes around, goes around",.........YES IT WILL,.....one day and one way or another.

My Munky, I mean Tuesday!

Today I took the first step towards selling our other property(s). One we will try to sell, and the other one,(thats oceanfront) will be rented out. We just can't seem to make ourselves sell that property. I mean we will never have an oceanfront property again in our lives. It's just too hard to get rid of. We have so many great memories, (and some really horrible ones too.) Obviously I have mixed emotions. How do people let go? I just know I don't want to live there full time. When we decide to move to Canada, we can hopefully keep it as a place to come back to, and for our family members to be able to stay at. That would make me very happy,-I know that. Someone would be enjoying and appreciating it. I guess we will have to see what happens. So big step today. Other than that, nothing else new happening here. The A/C at work is broken, and it feels like it's 100 degrees in there. I love going to work and sweating my clothes up. I wanted to come home and jump in the pool, but I forgot the kittys had no food, and my husband went out to his buddies house to play poker, so I ran out to the grocery store, and then didn't want to go in the pool by myself,....and it being night time. I am just too paranoid. Besides, I would miss Munky, and she would whine without someone in the house with her, and that just kills me. Couldn't do it. (Believe me, I live my life around the two kittys. I can't help it.) Well, now that I bored you to tears,.....I will be back tomorrow.

Are you serious?

It is 8:33 A.M. and I have to get ready for a meeting at work. What in the hell kinda company sets up a meeting at 9A.M. on A SUNDAY MORNING??!! Sunday morning? I couldn't believe it when I saw it posted. Nothing like getting up and having to go in so we can be told what we aren't doing right? I mean, right? Can't wait for this. What a way to start my first Sunday off in a month. I swear, sometimes life just sucks. And I'm just being cranky right now,.....so please understand my feeling sorry for myself,......let me go get ready,-yipee.(Lotsa grumbling goin' on over here.)