Have to go to work today,(in less than 2 hrs.) and I'm hating it. I have to work the next 3 days, and I feel like there is no end in sight. I actually had someone offer me a job in a doctor's office that I'm going to call first thing Monday. Anything. I need something to jolt me out of my unhappy little world. I mean I'm not miserable,(as much as I sound like I am,) - I have my wonderful husband, my adorable, lovable, kittehs, (that are the light of my life,) and we have two beautiful homes, how can I really be miserable? I'm just not happy with myself. I can't get myself back to where I used to be as in going to the gym, and working-out, and being in shape. I had so much hunger for weightlifting, and cardio, and exercising. Now, ever since our legal fiasco,....NOTHING. It's been 3 yrs. now, and I have gone up to a size 8 in pants and 14 in tops. Yep. Mind you, I was a size 2/4 before. Yup. Now, I'm just a mess, and I don't know how to dig myself out. I'm a 5 foot rollie-pollie weeble. I look ridiculous, and I can't seem to make myself care enough yet to do something about it. I keep thinking I'm going to wake-up one morning and just go, "I'm going to get in shape now." Really? Really? What will it take? What? I have cut myself off from every friend I've ever had, (except for one,- I need one,) and I refuse to see anyone at all. I just do stuff alone or with my husband who is going thru the same thing just not as extreme as me. He is still in phenomenal shape, he's 50!!! He looks like guys wish they could look, believe me. He feels like crap tho. He just had double hernia surgery right before X-mas, and not working-out, our legal crap, and the holidays got to him pretty bad too. We are just a ball-o-fun here, let me tell ya. So~I'm off to work. Another day, another dollar for shopping. That's something to look forward to, right? I'll get back to ya on that.