Just tell me WHY

Getting our A/C fixed as I write this. So glad,...we have had record breaking heat here in South Florida, and I'm sure alot of people are having A/C problems,...SO,....I'm glad we're getting it done NOW. I've been on Facebook alot lately and have found ALOT of classmates and friends from so many years ago. It's fun catching-up and seeing how everyone turned-out and what they look like. Isn't it funny? Way back when, I thought I'd never be 45 yrs.old. Boy-oh-boy,.....that day comes faster than people imagine. Crazy,-huh? I found my first crush,...him and his older brother ended being very good friends of mine and we always kept in touch, up until I was about 35, and then all of a sudden, - I couldn't find any info. or fowarded address' for them. I figured if they stopped keeping in touch, then I didn't want to bother them. So now, I just found them on FB and I guess I'll see if they want to say 'hi'. I feel like a such a slob the way I look right now. I only have pictures on FB from when my hubby and I got married in 2006. I still looked OK then, but NOW, I feel like a hag. If I had to see anyone NOW, I wouldn't do it. I look so awful, and really,.....I have aged from this whole legal situation about 20 years. I have to start taking care of myself again. I'm just too tired to do it right now. I feel exhausted all the time. It's depression. I know it. Oh well. Enough with that! I've been watching this tropical depression on the news. It looks like it's going to hit the Keys, (which is bad news for my mom.) I called her this morning, but got no answer, so I'm hoping she'll get in touch sometime today, to tell me if they are going to have to evacuate, and where they will be staying. THATS one of reasons I'm glad I don't live there. I came so close to moving down there when my dad was alive, and they moved to Key Largo. I about imploded when they told me. A whole hour away!? I couldn't handle it. But it all turned out good. My dad got a good 7 months down there before everything happened and he passed less than a year later. At least he got to do what he always wanted. Live in the Keys on the water. He LOVED it. I remember going for bike rides with him after dinner, and we would look at all the houses in their neighborhood. We had fun, and that's what counted, and I have to remember. Because I'm still bitter and angry about his death 16 YEARS LATER. Still not over him being gone. I never will be. Heck~it took me 7 years to wear a cross again. I stopped going to church,-I was just too angry that God could take my dad away from me and my family like that. It about killed me, not to mention what my mother went thru. I will forever be angry about that. And yes, I know, it happens every second to someone,....but why? Why does ANYONE have to suffer? Why? I just don't get it, and I hate how it's so unfair to people. WHY?