Sitting here in Key Largo at my mom's, and it's so nice and peaceful. Watching some people fish, watching boats going out into the ocean,......watching some football. Just nice. My husband stayed home to finish packing our beach condo. He wanted to stay and finish and wanted me to go.(I tried to cancel, but he got mad, and said he'd get more done if I just went.) So,.....that's what I did. My sister and niece left a few hours ago,...they had a 4 1/2 hour drive home. I'm going to stay until tomorrow. I love to spend time with my mom,(and her companion/boyfriend.) (?) Soooooooooo,.....had a big family dinner last night, and they made pina coladas, homemade lasagna, bbq'd sausages, and fresh itallion bread. Fun was had by all.I NEEDED IT. I'm still so tired. I had a very bad drive here yesterday afternoon. 2 hours of pure hell; panic attacks, and then sheer exhaustion. I don't know why all of a sudden I'm having them again. Yesterday is the first one I had in SO LONG. Probably over a year. I really just talked to myself and tried to calm down, but I felt so hopeless. I was scared to death.To make matters worse my cellphone died right in the middle of my sister-in-law calming me down. I couldn't get the battery juiced up enough to even work. Not good. That was what put me into full blown panic attack mode. I thought I was going to die on the roadside here going into the Keys. I actually pictured myself on the side of the road, trying to get help, passing out from hyperventilating, and being taken to the hospital/morgue. How morbid can I get? I really can't understand why I'm going thru this again. It came outta nowhere. I'm so strange. Driving home tomorrow will be another adventure. I'm very apprehensive, and I don't know why. Well enough of my ridiculousness. I'm going to concentrate on relaxing right now. I'll write about my trip home after I live thru it!
No Way Jose
4 weeks ago