Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Pulling the hair outta my head

I'm panicking in my head. I feel like life is passing us by. What if I went to the doctor and found out I had some fatal disease? Is this how I want to live? I mean I'm so thankful for my husband, kitties, and home(s). It all just seems to be going by quicker, and quicker everyday. My husband is in such a survival mode of all this stuff, that he just can't enjoy, or see any of the little, good things to be thankful for. It's hard to tell him too. He is just so,.....oh, I don't know,.....so aggravated by everyday life. I'm happy we live in a beautiful home,.....he is aggravated beyond belief that it's not perfectly clean every second of everyday. That's how it is at our house. With everything. EVERYTHING. It's hard to enjoy things when someone can't see the goodness in everyday life, and I guess I should understand how he feels,...because I'm going thru it too, but I still think we are EXTREMELY lucky in other aspects of our life, and know things could be ALOT worse. Why can't he see that? I mean we both have lost parents, we both have lost many friends way too early, and he should know that everyday is not to be lived like we are living. Why doesn't he just understand? I'm just having a hard time when he gets like this. I could be so content sometimes,.....I mean to a point, ya know? I guess his escape is playing poker, working-out, and watching sports. Mine is this blog, (which he totally doesn't understand at all,-in fact he hates it,) shopping, Ebay, and our kitties. So now what?

1 comment:

merelyme said...

What?! I don't check you for a couple days and then you have a million posts?! Go Girl!

I think any holiday creates and stirs up lots of anxiety to some degree in almost everybody. Just keep shopping and just keep working...in that order.

Good thoughts at you!