I will spend the next two days off and very happy about it. I worked Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday. I am drained to the max. Today we went to my sister-in-laws and had a great BBQ. The weather was great, the food was awesome (as always,) and we had alot of fun. I really wish we could move into the condo above her so bad. How great would that be? So cool when I think about it in my head. So much like a little family. How I miss that so much. Saturday would have been my dad's birthday. I called my mom,.....how I miss him. WE miss him. It never stops or goes away, does it? Never. SOOOOOO,.....tomorrow I will be happy to go to the gym, spend some time with Munky, and my husband, and I plan on going to the neighbors house who is taking care of Sugar and talk with her. I have to. I don't want her to think anything bad, and explain about Munky to her, and let her know that's why Sugar doesn't want to be here so much. It's killing my husband and I, we drive by there a few times a day to see if he is there outside. We saw him once today and he wouldn't come in, so I brought him a bowl of food outside, and sat with him while he ate. I practically cried. I miss him so much. I have just run out of ideas to do with him. I guess I will just have to wait-n-see. What else? Been going to the gym, and it's making me feel alot better after every workout. Alot. Yet I'm still really depressed,....all I want to do is sleep and hang with Munky, (and Sugar if he let me.) This seems like a really weird time in my life. All loose ends, and I feel like we still don't know about our lives,........just so up in the air. I want to be settled and start living our "fun" life. When does it start? Not like we don't have fun, but I hate being on edge, and not being in control of our own life. I hate it,....it makes me crazy. Everyday I wake up and wonder if my husband will still be here at the end of the day with me. It's like slow torture, living our life like this. It's making me physically sick now. I have IBS,....my stomach always hurts, I eat uncontrollably, and I'm can't remember or concentrate on anything. I'm lucky I can work. I think it's a welcome escape. The doctor told me everything I'm going thru is all to be expected in a high-stress situation. I should keep working-out, taking vitamins, and doing what I can to relax. Munky really helps with that. When I go to sleep at night, and wake-up in the morning and she is there, I am happy. When I play with her, she keeps me so entertained, and I so adore her. She is sweetest, cutest little thing. I do miss Sugar, but I can't force him to stay with us. So I'm trying to deal. That's all I can do with everything. Just deal with it,-right?
Thoughts on Mother's Day
1 month ago