Friday, January 13, 2012

I'm on my new IPad and I love this thing! It's great for reading, playing games, watching movies, etc. but to write emails, and blogging,- NOT. Not impressed with that part. I still love it. Things are uneventful here, work is making me crazy still. I officially asked to have my hours cut,- so I will see if that happens. I have Sunday and Monday off so hopefully some fun will be had soon. And I still haven't put anything up on eBay yet. I don't know why I'm procrastinating. Just laziness I guess. I'm doing cardio everyday,'s helping, but I know I still eventually have to get back in the gym. I have to. Lifting weights made me feel like nothing else ever could. It made me feel empowered, like I could accomplish anything, and just now it's starting to really set in how much I really do miss it, (and need it mentally, AND physically.) Its just so hard to get back into it again, and to be honest a little of it is vanity. It's hard for me to have people who used to see me in shape all the time see me like I am now, and I'm embarrassed. I mean I really am. I want to even go to a different gym but my husband doesn't like the idea of me going where he doesn't know anyone, and I understand that, but I feel like I have to start fresh, I dont want to feel already down before I even get there,....knowing I have to see people that are going to think 'whow,-what happened to her? She really got outta shape!' and that will be going thru my head the whole time I'm getting ready to go, on my drive to go, and the whole time I'm there, so why go? And that's why and how I'm not going to the gym still. I can't face it. I just can't. Not yet at least. I know eventually I will, but not just yet. Alright, I do have to get some cardio in before work, see ya!

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