Sunday, October 16, 2011

I will win

This is just some quick thoughts for today,...............Can you believe how that fateful day in April of 2008 changed our lives and us so dramatically? Tonight is the first time in I-don't-know-how-long that I haven't walked around with my cellphone in my hand, bra, sock, shoe, etc. Ever since that day, I have, case that ever happened again, and I needed to call our SIL, next-door-neighbor, or lawyer. Isn't that horrible? I actually opened our blinds on the sliding glass doors to look out at the pool all day, and watch the beautiful palms sway in the wind, and the rain in the pool. First time in years. I even took a shower with my cellphone in my purse far away from reach which is a FIRST for me. I guess I'm making some head-way. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's very true, and a very real fear for me. I sleep with my cellphone EVERY night (under my pillow.) Every night, and that's no lie.(I wish it were.) And my kittehs,......thank god for them, they are my savior. When I get real focused on something, (that has to deal with our 'legal experience',) my kittehs take my mind off of it all. I play, chase, and skwitch them to there hearts desire. I so love them. They help me thru my dark times,-BELIEVE ME. And, the middle right now of watching the 'Breaking Bad' finale for the second time, and it's as intense as ever. Made fresh mussels, chicken and vegetable pot stickers, and some fresh squash. Great dinner, great entertainment. Cleaned out one of our bedrooms finally this afternoon, and now we got lotsa room for our treadmill and exercise bike. Even have our weights in there, and put up one mirror, with more to come. Even tho I hate everything here, I have to survive here, and this helps. It helps ALOT,- trust me. I have to survive here for however long we end up here before we move. And I have to be somewhat healthy, or it will kill me. Us. I can't have that. I REFUSE to let that happen. REFUSE. NOT an option. Period. So here we are. I refuse to let them win. REFUSE. F&*%$ them. I win. Now and forever. Yay me.

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