Saturday, September 17, 2011

Yes, No. Maybe.

Sometimes all is right in the world, and sometimes you just feel like something needs to be done. At least that's how I feel. My mom is settled already,......all my siblings are doing good, the friends I do have are all good, and our legal fiasco is over, life feels almost right, right now. You ever have those 'things' that you just feel like you need to do in your own universe? Whatever it may be? I have some unresolved issues I need to let an ex know about, for me to feel like things are right. I mean I just need to let him know that things that happened were NOT all his fault. This may sound dramatic, but I couldn't 'live with myself' if I didn't let him know that things were just not all his fault. I have NO FEELINGS for him, I don't want any future contact with him, I don't want any thing at all from him, but just to know that HE knows that I realize things weren't all his fault, and he's not a bad person. That is all. Literally. For real. That is it. I LOVE my husband, and could NOT imagine my life without him. Ever. I just couldn't. I know I'm right where I want to be. This is the only thing thats bugging me tho. I just feel like I have to do this, and still somehow, I feel like if I told my husband, he'd be hurt or feeling betrayed in some way. I just know that I don't feel right if I don't do it, so I think I will. I think. I don't know. I keep going back-n-forth. I dunno'. Oh,........whatever.

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