Sunday, June 27, 2010

Every little bit helps me

Today has been a nice day so far. Off from work today and tomorrow, and I got up late, played with Munky for awhile, and then looked online for a dryer on Craigslist. Found one and we called when my husband got up, and I took a nap w/ Munky and my hubby went and picked up the dryer. Got up and went grocery shopping and came home and started cooking homemade mashed potatoes and meatloaf and gravy. I have had the worst craving for meatloaf and mashed taters. My husband is just happy I'm cooking. When I didn't work I cooked dinner every night. It was fun,....WHEN I DIDN'T WORK, but NOW, working the hours that I do, it's just too hard to cook every night when I come home around 10:30 or 11:30. So another thing down, and now we have to have our A/C looked at. Monday. Tomorrow. I'd like to go shopping, but I don't see it happening. That's okay tho. I'll live. Ummm,......maybe I'll do some much needed cleaning around here. That would be more productive for us, and just plain better. I know this, but in our depression, it's so hard to do the littlest thing. Like getting outta bed, making a simple phone call, or writing out a stupid bill. Yeah,~ we just need to move outta here. Too many bad memories that make us depressed. I keep going over and over in my head when the cops came in here and wrecked our house. They were just so malacious about it. So happy to do it. Didn't look or listen to anything we tried to say, and just destroyed everything from the ground up. And my poor Sugar couldn't understand anything that was going on. He was running from room to room not knowing where to hide or go. That alone makes me so goddamn angry that I wanna kill them. My poor thing, so scared. But I try not to let myself get carried away thinking of that day, and how our lives have changed 360 degrees. We are not the same people, nor will we ever be again. Hopefully we will come out stronger for it. That's the only silver lining in it all. I have to look at it like that, or I will make myself absolutely crazy. Totally. The other thing is I've become ALOT closer to my sister-in-law. I've really come to love,rely, and know her better than ever, and I'm a better person for her helping me, and us. I honestly don't know what I will do once we move up to Canada. I will miss her horribly. I will feel like my husband and I are alone with no one on our side. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I feel that way. Exposed. So~I'd like to end on a happier note. I was at work yesterday and saw one of Munky's siblings. OMG! So cute! So beautiful. All black little kitteh, with a white stripe right down the middle of her nose, and long haired like Sugar. So gorgeous. I'd love to be able to catch her and keep her with Munky. How cute would that be to give her a forever home. Not live on the street,....she's (or he) is already feral,....she's already too grown up to make them an indoor kitteh. The only thing I can do, and plan to do, is humanely catch her,(them) and have them all spayed and neutered, and bring them back to the same area. That's what we used to do when I volunteered for the No-kill cat shelter. So there's no more unwanted, abused,neglected little kittehs running around. I mean, more unwanted, abused, neglected kittehs. No more. It's gotta stop somehow. Every little bit helps, and I'm going to keep trying. It helps me in ways that nothing and no one else could/can.

No comments: