Saturday, March 3, 2012

At least

Okay, - so I have to work the next 5 days, and I'm not happy about it. The next day I have off is the day my SIL and my hubby and I go to this McCarthys Sanctuary. We will get to interact with big cats. Thats the only thing getting me thru this week. Trust me. My husband and I are hanging on by the skin of our teeth still. Thru our whole legal nightmare that supposedly ended Oct. 31st of 2011, we still have NOT resolved it. My ex-PO still says my last pymt. has NOT cleared,(payed on 11/28/11. ) Really? REALLY? Please!!! I'm ssssoooooooo over all this crap. All. Of. It. I can't deal with it. I can't. My little mind just can't comprehend. I'm going crazy. This is why I recently just started drinking at the ripe old age of almost 47. I mean drinking nightly, a couple of drinks just to calm me. Just to stop me from raging or complaining about my job,....or my feelings, or life. LIFE. Yes, life. We are waging all our everything on this move to Canada. Canada. My forever fantasy life. Canadians. My SIL already had 'the talk' with me. All Canadians are NOT good, and all Canadians aren't honest, sweet, and related to us. I know. I know. It's just hard. I WANT to let my guard down. I want to live in a place where I feel like I don't have to worry about people taking advantage all the time like in the U.S.(Like when I was a kid.) The United States is NOT all that it's cracked up to be. Not in my eyes at least. I know we have many advantages,.....but it's NOT all hunky dory here. It's NOT. There are many homeless here, many go hungry everyday, the judicial system is a horror show, and I NEVER IN MY LIFE thought what happened in Louisiana could happen in the United States. People are greedy pigs here. I'm very disillusioned with people, I wanna say here in the U.S., but I might be wrong. I just don't know anymore. I don't. And that makes me very unsure of myself and surroundings. All for one, one for one. Yup. That's the U.S. in my eyes,.....maybe I'm wrong. At least I'm willing to admit that tho.

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