Sunday, April 11, 2010

My true character

Tell me I'm not over-emotional when I get so worked up over a TV show? Watching Jesse on 'Breaking Bad' listening to Jane's message on his cellphone over and over just puts me in a emotional ringer. I get so upset and it just breaks my heart. Jesse's character on that show makes me feel so protective over him. He has such a good heart, and just makes such bad decisions w/ huge consequences. If you watch the show, you know what I mean. I've known so many friends like Jesse, it feels like I'm reliving my past sometimes. Don't get me wrong,...I don't do drugs, nor have I ever in that capacity,(that's for sure!) but I've been around people who have, and it always ends the same. Horrible. That's all I can say. When you've worked in a bar for as long as I have, you can't help but end up being around some people like that, with and without your knowledge. Believe me,....sometimes you'd never know. There were times I found out that some of the most normal-seeming people were the worst druggies. It really made me shut down my capacity to make friends when I finally left bartending. I've been ripped off numerous times, my friendship taken advantage of, and just let down so many times I've lost count. I ALWAYS question myself w/ anyone and everyone now. I KNOW I'm not a good judge of character. Like Oprah says,'always listen when someone shows you who they are.' Couldn't be a better saying and lesson for everyone. I say it to myself everyday. I know I sound corny, but that saying has really helped. ANYWAYS~watch 'Breaking Bad', it's an awesome show,....UNBELIEVABLE acting, GREAT writing, awesome, heartwrenching characters, just hits home with me,-that's all I can say.

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