Beautiful home away from home

Sitting here in Key Largo at my mom's, and it's so nice and peaceful. Watching some people fish, watching boats going out into the ocean,......watching some football. Just nice. My husband stayed home to finish packing our beach condo. He wanted to stay and finish and wanted me to go.(I tried to cancel, but he got mad, and said he'd get more done if I just went.) So,.....that's what I did. My sister and niece left a few hours ago,...they had a 4 1/2 hour drive home. I'm going to stay until tomorrow. I love to spend time with my mom,(and her companion/boyfriend.) (?) Soooooooooo,.....had a big family dinner last night, and they made pina coladas, homemade lasagna, bbq'd sausages, and fresh itallion bread. Fun was had by all.I NEEDED IT. I'm still so tired. I had a very bad drive here yesterday afternoon. 2 hours of pure hell; panic attacks, and then sheer exhaustion. I don't know why all of a sudden I'm having them again. Yesterday is the first one I had in SO LONG. Probably over a year. I really just talked to myself and tried to calm down, but I felt so hopeless. I was scared to death.To make matters worse my cellphone died right in the middle of my sister-in-law calming me down. I couldn't get the battery juiced up enough to even work. Not good. That was what put me into full blown panic attack mode. I thought I was going to die on the roadside here going into the Keys. I actually pictured myself on the side of the road, trying to get help, passing out from hyperventilating, and being taken to the hospital/morgue. How morbid can I get? I really can't understand why I'm going thru this again. It came outta nowhere. I'm so strange. Driving home tomorrow will be another adventure. I'm very apprehensive, and I don't know why. Well enough of my ridiculousness. I'm going to concentrate on relaxing right now. I'll write about my trip home after I live thru it!

Family weekend

I'm so looking foward to this weekend. I am going to de-stress. I swear I will. I work Saturday until 3pm and then I'm coming home, and my husband and I are driving to Key Largo to see my mom. My sister and niece are meeting us there, and we are all staying overnight. I am so looking foward to it. I miss my mom so much. I haven't seen her since I started working again. (Can you believe it's been 8 months already?!) The last few days have been rough. I had off, but we went to our beach-condo and started packing everything up there. (We finally rented it out after having it sit with no one living there for the last five years.)When I first walked in, I sat right on the floor and started to cry because I was so overwhelmed. I just didn't know where to start. Our whole lives were there,-good and bad. So we packed all we could up, and I went back to work today and my husband spent the day there doing what he could. It's scary leaving a place like that. 11 years of our lives has been there, but I do know it's time to move on. I can remember the first time we saw it, I said that we would never move again. Shesh,...I was WAY OFF. I really thought we would live the rest of our lives there. Now our priorities have changed. We want land for animals, and riding ATC's on, and taking walks and seeing wild animals. I'd really like to start a No-kill Dog/Cat Shelter. (I think this all will end up being in Canada tho. ) I don't think there is anywhere in Florida that we could afford such a thing, and still be on the water somehow. (A river,lake,etc.) Soooooooo,....that's the plan I guess. We have to wait another two years legally tho, and then see what our fate will be. Keep your finger's crossed we get to do things on our terms. I don't know if we could take anymore trauma.

Now-a-day kids.

What in the heck do kids do and expect to accomplish now-a-days with the things they do, and THINK they can get away with? I've said it time and time again,....entitlement,...and if they don't get what they want, they will find some devious way to take a short cut and get it somehow.(Even if it means taking it from someone else.) I watch the news way too much, and hear all about what goes on with kids. How has it gotten this bad? Do parents not care? I mean,....it all seemed so simple when I grew up, (and I'm not that old I might add!-44.) I guess parents don't have the time in this day and age. What with the economy the way it is, you practically gotta work three jobs just to make it all work,-ESPECIALLY if you have kids. They want Ipods, Iphones, WII, Coach bags, designer clothes, and whatever else I'm forgetting. It's hard enough getting that stuff for yourself, let alone your children! I see them talk back to their parents like it was nothing, and the parents bow down to them. I've seen them throw temper-tantrums if they don't get what they want, and then get it. What is all this teaching our kids? Figure it out people. Think about it. I mean really. I was no angel growing up by any means, but there was a line I knew not to go over. I never stole, or hurt ANYONE, I never plotted or ganged up on anyone either. That seems like an everyday occurrence in schools everywhere right now. Kids hurting, and even sometimes killing other kids for the most ridiculous things, and reasons. I just can't wrap my head around it all. It's such a scary world out there now,......I can't imagine growing-up in it. I would be so scared of everything and everyone, that I wouldn't be able to function. I don't know the answers, but I know it will be scary when these children are grown,(if they make it that far,) and realize life does NOT get handed to you on a silver platter, and that they will have to work for every single thing they want. And how much everything really costs. The price of time is what it takes. I learned early on about that. My parents worked hard all their lives, and saved a pretty penny to be able to retire in the Florida Keys, and they did, bought a cute little place on the water, just what they wanted, and,......in less than a year my father was gone. Finally got what he wanted, and just gone. The price of time is a luxury that people can't afford, and really don't even realize that that is what they need and can't do. Maybe it's better that people don't realize a virtually unattainable goal as time. It's so hard, and very few people get to ever do it in their lifetimes. People don't even enjoy the little time they do have with their family, they don't do things together anyways. I don't know,...I think I'm becoming more and more cynical the older I get. I just don't get people these days. I just don't.