Little things make me happy

First day back at work after three nice, long, days off. Christmas, and my husband's birthday,....and it was quiet, and uneventful. Went to my sister-in-law's for dinner for my husband's b-day, and then we went and saw "True Grit" with Jeff Bridges, and I absolutely loved it. Loved it, and J.Bridges is SO GOOD-LOOKIN'. What a hottie. LOVED the movie tho. Two weekends from now my husband found on TV the first 'True Grit' with John Wayne, and he swears it's better than this one. We'll see. (I'll get back to you on that.) SO~nothing else really to brag about. January 21st will be our 18 year anniversary. Whoo-hoo. I can't wait til I say 50 years! That'll be awesome. Like I always say, there is no divorce in my vocabulary, that's why I took so long to do it. I was 41 by the time we were finally married,...we were together 14 years before that, so,....yes, I take it very seriously, and it's forever to me. AND we like AND love each other,...most importantly. I mean we argue and have our moments like everyone else, but we have fun together, and we really enjoy being together hanging-out. It's cool. And I love that we have so much history together. Anyways~so now I have to work the next 8 days straight. 8 days. Ick. I hate life just thinking about it. Why? Why? Why? I hate work. I'm not sure if I'd ever like it no matter what I was doing,-I think. Maybe animals, something to do with animals or kittehs. I dunno'. Well - I guess I'm going to go get ready for bed. Munky is in there laying down already,.....I think I tuckered her out when I got home from work, playing with her,...she just went in there and laid on her little heating pad, and went to sleep. I can't resist anytime she's in there,....I gotta go in and lay and cuddle with her. My favorite thing to do. Get her to purr,...or as my husband says, 'get her little motor running'. So cute,....little things make me happy.

Christmas past

It's Christmas morning,(well our morning,) and I'm such a horrible wife. I didn't prepare anything for my husband, not even a card. Work the last few days has made me insane, and I just couldn't collect my thoughts enough to plan anything. I feel so overwhelmed now. I guess it's another side effect of our wonderful "legal situation" we've been living. I can't seem to concentrate on anything, or get myself together,...ever. That scares me. Will I forever be this way now? I can't seem to clean, or organize, or anything. I hear myself saying this, and I know these are all signs of depression. I'm a functional depressed person. Somewhat functional. I'm a horrible, horrible wife right now tho. I am. I can't seem to get myself together tho, it's been 4 years now I think. I just can't go back to how I was before. I can't get myself to the gym, I can't seem to not be tired all the time, and I can't stop myself from not caring about anything enough to do something about it. Why is that? I'm horrible, horrible, horrible. I feel like I'm talking about another person. Where do I start, and this overpowering feeling of helplessness end? When does it end? I keep thinking I'm going to snap out of it. Well,-SNAP already. I wanna go back, I wanna go back. THATS what I want for X-mas,--- to be my old self again.

I don't want to wear a Santa ANYTHING

I'm so over it. I am off for the next three,...count them!,....THREE days. OMG,...I just can't wait to do absolutely nothing but worry about when to walk Munky, and my husband's b-day. That's it. I am so tired I can't see straight. I was at work at a 11:45am, and got home at 11:45pm. What a freakin' day it was. I will never understand how people wait til the last minute to get things. Do you know how many people said, 'wow,-why are you guys so busy?' Are you kidding me? Really?! What a bunch of freakin' morons. I couldn't believe my ears. I wanted to throw cellphones at people, put them where the sun don't shine, and just rip them outta people's hands and ask if they are really that important? Are they lacking in some way that they need everyone to hear their conversation to make them feel important? Really? It's like the people who drive Corvettes, or Porsches, both of which you couldn't PAY me enough money to drive one of those. Tacky, tacky, tacky cars. And you could throw Hummers in there too! Wouldn't catch me dead in one. NEVER. HATE 'EM. I even had a chance when I was 21 to own one,(a Corvette,) and I absolutely said NO. (My boyfriend at the time collected cars, and he had 4 Corvettes, 2 Mercedes, a Bronco, and all the mechanics you could hope for.) No thanks still. Ick,- I couldn't stomach it even then. Just couldn't do it. Too tacky. It screams 'look at me, I'm trying way too hard because I'm lacking in some other area, and need this car to make me feel superior'. Yes, that's what it says. So,.....moving right along,.......with all the time I spend with Munky, you'd think she would be the cute, cuddly, kitty to me, but all in all she has slept ON me once when I slept out on the couch, and it was cold out. The last week it's been very cold for South Florida, and she's been making the move to jump up in the chair I sit in and cuddle up next to me. She's done it three times, and it brings tears of joy to me. I love how she shows that she trusts me. Don't forget now that she was a totally feral kitten when I caught her. She's still very skiddish, and she's scared of anyone new. Does NOT trust people at all. Scared of loud noises, and will hide whenever someone knocks or comes to the front door. I feel so protective of her when she curls up half on me in the chair,...the first time last week I actually cried it made me so happy. I called for my husband to come see, and even he was shocked. She loves to lie in the chair next to my husband, and she puts her little head under his hand and purrs away. She flirts with him endlessly, and it's the sweetest thing to see,-this big, burly,tatooed muscleman with this little kitteh being all cute with him. She's at the point where my husband walks into the room and she starts to purr. With me I have to work at it with her. Funny how that works out. I don't care tho, as long as she's a happy kitteh, I'm a happy mommy for her. I try anything and everything to make her happy. I do. So,...now let me go, I have to get ready for bed. It's really just another night to me,...forget all the X-mas crap,....I don't want presents or anything,....just a good night's sleep. 'Night.