Thursday, January 7, 2010

All I've got

I finally have something good to say. I know I have been really sounding awful lately. The condo across the street from the beach that we own has finally gone into contract, and it's a solid offer, and I'm so keeping my fingers crossed that everything goes according to plan. PLEASE let it go according to the plan. Then we can start with this house, and get it the way it should be, and put this up for sale next. Oh,....I just want this gone too, and I will be able to rest easier. Then we can concentrate on getting thru our legalities, and then just move wherever we want, and just have our normal lives back again. I just want to be another nobody right now, and right now where we live, I feel like we are watched with every single thing we do,everywhere we go, and even everything we say, on the phone, even in our own home.It really wouldn't surprise me, but even I know when I'm being too paranoid. I will never feel safe, and/or comfortable in this house again. It's pure torture for me every time I open a blind part way,...or even go out in our backyard. It's so sad that it has come to this here. I so loved this neighborhood when we first moved here,....I so loved the neighbors, and the convience, and the area, all of it,.....and NOW,....forget it. I hate the whole lot of it. The day we move from here, will be one of the happiest days ever for me,....and thats even pretty sad when I hear it from myself,-but it is very true. VERY TRUE. So,....and,....well, it has been a monumental night for me, but I can't say why else. I just feel like I am on the way to being somewhat normal again. Maybe one day in the future, but its still far off. I'll take my little bit of happiness right now. I have to, because thats all I got right now. You know. I know.

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